Mother of the Bride Issues

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2706 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Start saying NO now. It’s not your fault if she has expectations that are outrageous, not is it your job to meet them. I’d be inclined to not discuss your wedding with her at all. If she asks about planning, say ‘It’s going well,’ then change the subject. If she comes back to it, say ‘I don’t want to discuss it at the moment,’ and when she kicks off, say ‘you seem to be having trouble controlling your emotions. Perhaps we should try again next week/month/year,’ then leave, usher her out or hang up. Basically, don’t tolerate her behaviour. You wouldn’t give in to a tantruming child – she’s just a bigger version.

In terms of your sister’s wedding, can you find someone who will remove your mother if she starts to make a scene?

Post # 4
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

mrshwa2be :  Are your parents helping financially with your wedding? If they are, I’d suggest not taking money from them as they will want more of a say. You should keep her out of it as much as possible, like PP said.

She sounds a bit narcissistic. And clear boundaries need to be drawn with consequences. Your sister should start enforcing them.

I have no idea why weddings bring out the worst in people. It should be a happy time. Unfortunately that’s not always the case..

Post # 6
Member
1614 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

mrshwa2be :  Oh hon, don’t think for one second you’re gonna get away with no drama.  This is attention seeking at its finest and yes based on your description, I’d suspect an N personality. However, N personalities don’t just appear one day.  N personalities have always been N.  If you look back over your life you’d be able to tell the signs.  Its just harder to see because you grew up with it and it was probably normal to you. 

Make no mistake, many of the antics she’s trying now she’ll definitely try when its your time to get married.  N’s want attention and they may do whatever they need to to get it.

Like the pp’s said, boundaries need to be made.  Absolute zero tolerance for bad behavior should be the rule of the day and consequences clearly outlined and enforced.  It is the only way you can keep things as drama free as possible.  Good luck bee.

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