Post # 1
I knew I wasn’t going to get through this wedding processes without having at least one issue with my furture mother-in-law, I just didn’t think I would have several. This is me mostly venting…
Issue one: So my Fiance’s mom is normally a very crafty woman and she offered to help with anything for the wedding…. she actually begged to help. I decided to have her make us a sign-in board rather than us having a traditional guestbook. I showed her examples from pinterest of what we wanted and she said she had a good idea of what we wanted. She made it 6 months before the wedding because she said she just wanted to get it over with, fyi. In short, it looked nothing like what we wanted! Even my fiance had a “WTF” look on his face when he saw it. If it were still cute or even remotely nice I would suck it up and use it, but it really looked like it didn’t belong at a wedding, it actually looked like maybe a kid did it. It’s so weird because she is normally so crafty. What do I do? We don’t want to hurt her feelings…
Issue two: MOG keeps inviting people that my fiance and I have never even met! Like super distant cousins, her high school BFF, friends of a friend… We said yes to a few but she is at the point were she just text an address to me saying she needs me to send these people an invite! This is more of a vent than anything. I know I need to suck it up and tell her no more.
Issue three: Rehearsal dinner… She offered to pay the rehearsal dinner, but never really clarified how much she could spend. My fiance and I found a pretty low-budget mom and pop joint just to be considerate, becuase we know she isn’t weathy or anyting. She doesn’t live in the area so she couldn’t really look for herself. She recently came for my bridal shower and asked if the place we chose was around $10 per person… I didn’t know what to say. The place we chose is reasonable, but not $10 per person reasonable. I feel like you can’t even get a meal at McDonalds for that price. Should we just offer to pay what she can’t?
Any advice on dealing with a furture mother-in-law would be helpful. I want to be nice, she is going to be family soon. I also just don’t want to seem unreasonable either.
Post # 2
jmmcd : Since she doesn’t live close, can the sign have an unfortunate accident, like her son backing over it out of the garage, or something? (Closer to the wedding, so she doesn’t make another, lol).
How many people are you inviting to the rehearsal dinner? Is it just the Wedding Party and Significant Others?
Post # 3
oh girl, vent away. mmm.
as far as the not so crafty crafty diy project, maybe find one on etsy that matches what you want, buy one and completely lie and convince your MOG that she made it and loved how it turned out…. lol
as far as the add on invites, just lie again and tell her that you have already ordered them and have run out and have no more to mail. or you are gonna have to be honest and tell her that your budget doesnt allow for anymore randoms.
and for the rehearsal dinner, mom probably has a fixed budget so maybe plan to pay for the half she cant afford.
so my advice basically is to lie and spend money…. not really good advice. Sorry.
Post # 4
Post # 5
creativeplannertobee : I like the way you think, haha! We actually have discussed making up a little white lie about the board. I told my fiance he had to be the one to tell her though.
We invited the wedding party with sig. others (which is a pretty small group) and my aunt and uncle, but that was because they gave us a large sum of money to help with the wedding. I think we estimated 25 adults and 2 kids (the flower girls). I don’t really have anything to compare that too, is 25 too many people for a rehearsal dinner?
Post # 6
lknatbrghtsde : Haha! It’s not bad advice either.
Post # 7
lknatbrghtsde : Soooo funny. so funny. I love it, and would try that!
Plan A. Convince her she did it, what a fine job she did
Plan B. run over it.
Love it all.
Post # 8
Definitely do not use that diy board. I like the idea of accidentally on purpose destroying it.
Next time she texts you with an address, could your Fiance text her back with how much she owes you for them to be invited? Just kidding, it’s more than just the money obviously. Please do not give in. She won’t thank you or appreciate it in any way. I have yet to hear any Mother-In-Law anywhere say how nice it was of her DIL to invite so many guests for the Mother-In-Law. They all seem to feel entitled.
You’re going to have to pay the rest of the cost for the rehearsal dinner. Just have your Fiance tell her that there is nowhere that charges only $10 a plate so that you two will pick up the difference, but he should say it nicely and still thank her for her contribution, even if you are right (which you are!), just be pleasant and get through it. And once you are married you probably won’t want to be close with her at all! Her loss.
Post # 9
$250 won’t get you that far. I’d find somewhere you like and can afford and contribute her 250 towards it.
Can an you fix the sign? I’m sentimental, it would mean a lot to her to have it there, I’m sure. When she sends it can you jazz it up?
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2017 - Nepal
Now I’m dying to see this DIY board and the inspiration. I like the idea to run it over 😂
Post # 11
Yep, accidentally on purpose misplace or destroy the board.
Can Fiance simple give a firm “no” to any more guest requests and you not send invites? That’s what I would be doing.
And yeah, I think just graciously accept her small contribution to the rehearsal dinner and discreetly make up the difference.
Post # 12
jmmcd : Typically, the Wedding Rehearsal is just for the wedding party and spouses, so that is fine to include your Aunt and Uncle, as it is a thank you.
I have seen on the WB, where all the out of town guests are also invited as well, and that is too much In My Humble Opinion.
I think Beegritte : gave the correct response, graciously accept her contribution and discreetly make up the difference. FWIW- I don’t think my Father-In-Law covered even that. I think my poor mom & dad ended up paying, knowing Father-In-Law, but I couldn’t be certain.
Post # 13
italianbride0508 : I wish I could fix it, but I would have to paint over the entire thing… it was nothing like what we wanted. Unfortunately for my fiance, he is going to be the one to tell her we aren’t using it. But we are keeping it and plan on making it into an outdoor table. Hopefully she understnads that we like it, we just don’t like it for our wedding.
Post # 14
I feel like your fiance needs to step in and talk with her about adding too many people to the guest list. It is his mom, so he should be the one fighting the big battles. Who is paying for the wedding? I know t’s hard but you just have to stick up for what you and your fiance want.
Post # 15
Issue 1 is kind of cute. Reminds me of how my grandmother would always send me a bunch of stuff that I couldn’t use or couldn’t wear but I’d accept it because it would make her happy to give me stuff.
Issue 2 and 3 I think can be less dramatic if everyone was just honest with one another. Tell her we have no more room for invites and ask her flat out how much her budget is for the rehearsal dinner.