Post # 1
I’m the mother of the groom and I’m wondering, the day of the wedding I know I shouldn’t be with the bride unless she wants me to, but not sure I want to hang out in the room with my son and his groomsmen while they get dressed! But my daughters (yes both of them) are bridesmaids. So…where is my place?? Is it ok to go back and forth between rooms? Thanks for any advice!
Post # 3
Honestly, I have a very good relationship with my Future Mother-In-Law, but I would not want here there the morning of my wedding – that is a special time for me and mom. So I would not suggest hanging with the bridal party unless you are asked.
How about your husband? Of close relative? I think my Future Mother-In-Law is going to be getting ready with her sister the day of…….
Post # 4
@Rock Hugger: My husband is best man and like I said both daughters are bridesmaids. I understand about not being with the bride and that’s not a problem. But just wondering if I don’t hang with the guys and I don’t hang with the girls, what am I to do? Sit outside somewhere?
Post # 5
I would be fine with my Future Mother-In-Law was getting ready with us but I would get PO’d if she tried to take over.
Post # 6
If the event isn’t until December, it’s likely that the couple hasn’t even thought out their day of timeline. I wouldn’t worry about it right now, provided that date is correct.
There are just way too many factors that could come into play between now and when they start making their timeline. If there are photos before the ceremony, then you’ll need to be ready early enough for those. Depending on other members of the bridal party, you may be needed to assist rounding people up and making sure they are where they need to be.
Yes, there’s a chance you could be on your own. Presumably you’ll either have a hotel room or home to get ready in, and you can relax a little on your own there. Depending on the time of day, you could indulge yourself in getting your hair and makeup done, or even a short spa-like treatment early in the day. If it’s an out-of-town even where you won’t have the typical comforts of home, bring a book or a favorite movie. If you are handy with a camera and have one, maybe you could volunteer to take some shots of important people getting ready where there is no professional photographer around before you need to get ready yourself.
There are just so many options, and you just need to talk to your son and future daughter-in-law once they start to talk about a day of timeline.
Post # 7
If I were the bride, I would expect you to be with your son and husband. If that’s not what you want to do, then plan on hanging out by yourself.
Post # 8
My Future Mother-In-Law hung out with us for awhile while we got ready and would go out and socialize. There is no reason why you can not hang out with the bride, especially if your daughters are bridesmaids!
Post # 9
My younger brother just got married, and my now SIL invited her to get ready with her. My mom didn’t feel comfortable, so she just hung out with the guys. You’ll want some pictures beforehand with your husband and your son, so there shouldn’t be much of an issue.
Post # 10
My Mother-In-Law hung out with her son pre-ceremony. I guess I don’t understand why you don’t want to do that. The guys getting ready won’t take that long. I also have Darling Husband and his immediate family take pictures pre-ceremony.
My guess is – you’ll get your hair/makeup done, get dressed, then travel to the venue. I would pop in on my son getting ready, if I were in your shoes. If you are feeling like you want your son and his Groomsmen some ‘alone’ time when they are donning their tuxes… give them some space… but there’s nothing wrong with wanting to hang with them – have a celebratory toast together, etc. Or, yes, sit and wait until they come out.
Personally, I adore my Mother-In-Law but I did not want her anywhere near me when I got ready. I was thankful she didn’t push it because I probably would have let her… I just would have been annoyed.
Post # 11
My Mother-In-Law (and FIL) will be with my Fiance right before the wedding until we do our first look and formal portraits. We are getting ready at different hotels and will be meeting at our picture locations. I would not my Mother-In-Law getting ready wih me…it’ll be crazy enough with the bridal party and my mom there..
Once you get a timeline, you can figure out what you’re going to do. But I wouldn’t stress yet, you’ve got plenty of time!
Post # 12
Thanks everyone! I know we have plenty of time, but was just wondering what the “proper” thing to do would be. I will certainly be in there with my son and my husband, and probably will spend some time with my daughters and the bride too. I will be ever mindful of the time needed between mother and bride. Fortunately, our families get along great and everyone will probably be back and forth between rooms anyway. But I did want to get an idea of what the “etiquette” was with this subject! Thanks for all your help!
Post # 13
Why don’t you ask your son what he sees your role as? Maybe he will surprise you and say he can’t imagine the morning of his wedding without his mom!
Post # 14
I wouldn’t mind if my fmil hung out with us while we got ready.