(Closed) Mother wanting to attend engagement photo shoot?!

posted 12 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh that is a bizarre situation! I can totally understand why you would not want you mom there – it is really a time for a private photoshoot between you are your fiance. I have a couple of suggestions (not saying they are good, but here it goes)!

1) Explain to you Mom that you want the engagement photos to be a surprise and promise to give her a lovely photo for Christmas.

2) Explain to your mom how an engagement shoot is a little different than other photos and is really just for you and your fiance to enjoy being together. Tell her you definitely want lots of photos with her at the wedding.

3)Instead of going to the engagment shoot, as your mom to help you select photos from the proofs once you get them back – that way she continues to feel involved.

Ask your Mom what her expectations are for coming – does she just want to watch, or does she plan on giving the photographer directions and feedback about the photos? The photographer may even prefer it if it was just you and your fiance.

Good luck!

Post # 4
4479 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

Wow, she SO does not belong there. Tell her you’ll get nervous with her there and then your pictures will be bad, but that she can help you pick which ones to order (even if she can’t; you can cross that bridge later!). Would that work with her at all?

Post # 5
4381 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

My mom wanted to go, but I told her that we probably would be able to be more relaxed (and the photog more relaxed!) without here there. She understood, thankfully. 🙂

Post # 6
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m glad my mom didn’t ask…I think that would have wierded me out a lil.

Post # 8
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is a time for you to get to know and get comfortable with your photographer.  It’s best if it’s just the three of you.  Having and audience would make me clam up, especially for the canoodling smoochie shots.

Post # 9
2029 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Blame it on your photographer. Tell her your photographer prefers not to have guests at the shoot because it is distracting to him.

Post # 10
567 posts
Busy bee

oh man! my engagement shoot is on friday and i would be soo uncomfortable if a praent were to come! how are you supposed to feel comfotrable kissing your man if momma comes along? 

Post # 11
209 posts
Helper bee

Well typically I would also agree to leave mom home.  But I recently did an engagement session, who’s mom tagged along.  Well mainly because she was coming in from Ohio and they were down in Maryland.  She was nice and quiet working on Sudoku puzzles while we did the shoot.  

But I won’t say that is the case for everyone.  Just inform her, she will join the camera spot light during the actual wedding.  Engagement sessions are meant to be carefree and getting to know the photographer period.

Post # 12
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I was worried about my mom wanting to attend, but she’s good with not being there. Our photog gave us a list of tips that I handed her saying that they prefer only the couple be there for e-pics. It also says they reccomend only 1 person tag along for bridals. I thought I would point that out to her before my sisters said they were coming too & brining their kiddos. Something tells me that would be a stressful day.

Post # 13
1102 posts
Bumble bee

I would blame the photographer too (if your current plan doesn’t work out), just say they’d rather not! (And let your photographer know so there’s no awkward moment at the wedding when your mum mentions it and the photographer doesn’t know what she’s talking about!)

Post # 14
25 posts

My mom said the exact same thing to me two days ago, and our pics are Saturday!  The idea also made me super uncomfortable, so I explained to her how we would be doing a lot of “couple-y, kissy” things and I think in turn it made her equally uncomfortable.  So I told her she could come by in the beginning if she wanted to, since our photographers are actually coming to our place to photograph us with our dog first, and she could meet them then, but then we’d go off and do our own thing.  Maybe a compromise like that could work?

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