Mother wanting to crash wedding!

posted 8 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
47193 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

missexcited1985 :  Does your mother belong to the church where the ceremony wilt be held? Only in that context is it normal to attend a ceremony to which you are not invited. That is because churches are open to their members 24/7. Often the invitation to church members is extended in a service from the pulpit, or published in a church newsletter.

Post # 4
Member
1588 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

Church weddings are not private ceremonies, generally speaking. They are open to members of the church or anyone who wants to show up. Many churches advertise weddings to their members. Someone I know was required by the church that held their ceremony to invite all of their members to the ceremony. 

Even weddings held on beaches or in parks are technically public events (or in the case of hotels, open to hotel guests)…anyone can stop and watch. My parents got married at a hotel in Hawaii and had about 30 tourists stop to watch their wedding (film it no less, and this was the 80s so no cell phone cameras).

So, it’s definitely not at all unheard of for people that are not invited to go to the ceremony. Depending on the context it is a little strange…but I don’t think it would be that weird for your mom to go.

Post # 5
Member
577 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s fine to go to the ceremony and not the reception. If she wants to see your friend get married what’s wrong with that? Many children go to the ceremony and go home before reception, what’s the difference?

Post # 6
Member
47193 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

missexcited1985 :  It’s not an old fashioned etiquette thing. Other than church ceremonies, and ceremonies held in public spaces (where even then bystanders should ry to be discreet), it IS weird for your mother to invite herself to be a guest.

Post # 7
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I think it’s a pretty common thing here for people like co-workers or extended family/friends who are not invited to go watch the ceremony and then leave. Pretty sure they usually clear it with the couple first though lol.

Post # 8
Member
3421 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I’ve never heard of people going to weddings they aren’t invited to. Is that a thing now? 

Post # 9
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

missexcited1985 :  This is a totally a thing. Maybe not for a couple having an intimate 20 guest wedding but for those having a largish wedding or a church ceremony then sure.

My sisters best friend got married and my mum went to the ceremony and even gave them a gift. My work peeps came to our church ceremony. We got married at our family church and parishioners came too. We had one even ring the church bells for us as we exited the church as a married couple. My sisters friends came to see me get married too. Nobody expected an invite to our reception but they came to wish us well. I wasn’t bothered at all by this but its best to check with your friend if she’s OK with your mum coming to watch her get married. Your friend might want her ceremony to be private. 

Post # 10
Member
1860 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

There’s nothing wrong with going to the ceremony, especially if it’s a public place. Churches are open to anyone tbh. I’m sure your friend won’t mind 

Post # 12
Member
785 posts
Busy bee

But it’s not in a church so it is weird

Post # 13
Member
1891 posts
Buzzing bee

Never heard of this. If you aren’t invited you don’t go. How rude to go when not invited. How does your mom even know when and where If she isn’t invited?

 

missexcited1985 :  

Post # 15
Member
1869 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Where I’m from this is normal for church ceremonies but I’m not sure about ceremonies elsewhere. Sounds like your friend is fine with it though, so that’s what matters.

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