Post # 1
I never really dreamed about my wedding. I mean, of course I want to get married, but a ceremony in front of a lot of people? Nah. It makes me uncomfortable thinking about everyone staring at me.
At first we were going to have a small, casual ceremony and reception, but no one has helped me with the planning, and I’m stressed, and I really didn’t want a ceremony in the first place.
I would MUCH rather go to the courthouse and have a reception/party the day that same day. Nice, easy, simple, short. Then we can spend the day as husband and wife with our closest friends with some cake and food. Easy, right?
I told my mom this, and she started hysterically crying, acting like I didn’t care about her feelings, and that I should have a ceremony because she wanted to watch me “walk down the aisle.”
I told her she could come and be a witness, but that wasn’t good enough. She literally acted like it was the end of the world.
Now, I understand that many mothers dream about their daughter’s wedding day, but I’m just uncomfortable with a ceremony.
She refuses to talk about it.
What do I do?
Post # 3
What do you do?
You go to the courthouse, get married then have a party. I don’t mean to be insensitive to your mother but she’s bullying you by getting upset. If you do have the wedding of HER dreams just so she can see you walk down the aisle you’ll be miserable. The price of giving in to her wishes isn’t worth the stress of something you don’t even want in the first place. I know it may be hard to see her upset but you need to tell her this isn’t what you want and she needs to back off with the emotional blackmail.
Post # 4
Honestly it sounds like your mom is using emotional blackmail. Don’t let her manipulate you. Your ceremoney is about you and your partner, no one else. Have the marriage at the courthouse and then have a party. Its your wedding!
Post # 5
I agree with the others. Your mom is not getting married, you are! Offer her the witness role so she can sign your marriage license. Then have a party later. I think you would enjoy doing something out of emotional blackmail.
Post # 6
@MrsPanda: You do what you want and don’t be held hostage by her emotional blackmail. She is being ridiculous. If it were my mother I would show her this thread to hopefully give her some perspective about how she is behaving.