(Closed) mother won't talk to me after my wedding what to do

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Did you know that if you type “…” only once (like “.”), it indicates the end of a sentence? 

Post # 5
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@matt101:  I’m sorry to hear that. It sounds like your mom is upset about something else. If not, then she’s being very immature and selfish. I would call her and try to see what her problem is, but if she’s ignoring you, then I would just let it go for now. Give her time and let her come around when she’s ready. Does she like your wife? Was she happy about your engagement? 

Post # 6
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Canal St Inn

What exactly was said in the emails? And phone or not, punctuation really helps to understand your story better. 

Post # 7
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I wish I had better advice for you, but it’s been almost 6 months and we’re still dealing with fallout from the wedding with my mom. Hope you guys can get it resolved.

Post # 9
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@red_rose:  “…” this is called an ellipsis or suspension of ellipsis. I think your comment was rude and snarky. He came on here to express his feelings and all you do is give him a lesson on puncuation? Yes, it does help understand better, but you didn’t just have to point that out and not even be considerate of what he just wrote. 

Post # 10
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

it all sounds like something my mom would do. Unfortunately I don’t have much advice, since I’ve pretty much given up on getting through to my mom.  All you can do is try to sit down and have a conversation with her.  Good luck! If she’s anything like my mom, I’m sure it won’t be pleasant.  The best thing you can do though if she keeps up with this behavior is to stick by your wife and not let your mom bully her or you.

Post # 11
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@matt101:  I think there’s more to her being upset then you guys canceling on her. When the time is right and she’s ready, you really need to have a deep conversation to see what’s bothering her. 

Post # 12
Member
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@matt101:  She “said we dont need to go with them …go with her parents…”

Did you spend the day before the wedding with your wife’s family?  That may have hurt your mom’s feelings because you spent all day with them and then she probably felt like you blew her off that night for dinner since she was “less important” than your in-laws.

It’s been a month and well time to find out what is wrong.  Don’t couch it as she was being a b*tch and she should apologize for ruining your day.  Actually call and talk to her in person; be an adult about it and apologize first.  Sincerely tell her you don’t know what you did to piss her off but you are sorry and you want to understand so you can try to do something about it.  Hopefully that will open the lines of communication.  If she gives a ridiculous reason then call her out on it.  Most likely she feels slighted in some way by your marriage or your relationship with your in-laws.  Always end the conversation by telling her you love her even if you disagree with her.  If she still won’t meet you in the middle tell her you’re sorry she feels that way, you will always love her and always be there for when she is ready to reopen the lines of communication.  Be the martyr in the conversation.

Post # 13
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@matt101:  i’m sorry you have to deal with this.  i don’t understand how a parent could act so immature about something so trivial.  she needs to get over it.

there must be something more to the story.  did she approve of the marriage?

Post # 14
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I feel like there is a lot missing.  Were you supposed to have breakfast together or were you just assuming?  Since it doesn’t sound like there were any set plans, I don’t know why you didn’t invite them – it seems like that would have been the best way to make up for cancelling dinner.  She was probably upset that you bailed on dinner with her then ignored her for breakfast (which I can understand since they flew all the way out their for your wedding).  And then she expressed her annoyance by rolling her eyes at you and telling you to have breakfast without them, which was definitely immature and I can’t condone her behavior, but it didn’t really justify you flipping out yelling at them. 

So while I don’t agree with your mom’s actions, I don’t think are completely innocent.  I think you need to call your mom and apologize for bailing on her and yelling at her and hopefully she will apologize too (she might just be waiting for yours).

Good luck.

Post # 16
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sorry this happened on your wedding day.  But you are both adults and so both of you need to take responsibility for the faults in your relationship.

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