Post # 1
I’m a motherless bride. :o( I lost my mother 6 years ago to an unexpected illness. Planning my wedding and doing all of the exciting things without my mom is really, really difficult…
Has anyone out there experienced this??? What’s made it easier for you to deal with it? It isn’t horrible all of the time…but dress shopping is tough….not being able to call her with questions….not being able to tell her I’m engaged….all of those things are hard.
I do plan on doing a tribute to her at my wedding. I got some ideas from Pinterest, and one from my Maid/Matron of Honor. If anyone has any ideas regarding that, I’d also love to hear it…
Post # 3
Just wanted to say I am sorry you don’t have your mom to plan with. My daughter is wrapping lace from my wedding dress around the stem/handle of her bouquet. I thought maybe that could be a nice way to have her with you.
Post # 4
I am not in your situation but I want to say I feel for you. Hugs.
My grandmother passed away in May and I stopped planning for a month just because I could not deal with it. The first thing I did when I started planning again was look through my guestlist to update it; her name was in the first few lines and after that I lost it. It is very difficult to deal with feelings like this, knowing you want to share your special day with a loved one that can’t be there anymore. Again, hugs.
Post # 5
@bricon: Ohhh…my mom didn’t have a wedding dress….she borrowed a white dress of a friend’s to get married in…But I do still have some of her clothes!! That’s a really good idea…. :o) Thank you for it!!!
Post # 6
Thank you for the hugs and support. <3 It does get very overwhelming…and very sad… I’m very sorry about your grandmother… <3
Post # 7
I can 100% identify with you. I lost my beautiful mother over 5 years ago unexpectedly. Shopping is hard. Planning is hard. When I was pregnant the first time last year and lost the baby, it was very hard. When I found out this past weekend that my fiance and I are pregnant again after a year of trying, I wanted to call her so bad… but I can’t. I have all of these life changing things happening to me and there’s not a damn thing I can do but wish that she was here and wishing isn’t enough. I just try to remember that as long as you remember someone and they are in your heart, they aren’t really gone. My mom is with me. She may not be WITH me, but I know she’s there. Just knowing the joy she would have had for me puts me at ease. When I am having a hard time, I just try to remember my mom with a happy, smiling face. When I found my dress, I almost lost it, so I just imagined what I know she would have said and the joy she would have expressed. Your mom is still very much a part of all of this… just in a different way. Also, remind yourself that everything will be okay. You are not alone in this, my dear. *Hugs*
Post # 8
@SpookyRooster: I was in tears when I was trying on dresses…. I was imagining her, and what she’d be saying, and that’s SHE’D be crying, too… I felt her there with me. A lot of people probably think I’m crazy for saying that, but I truly FEEL my mom with me sometimes, you know?
Not calling is so hard. I can’t imagine what pregnancy will be like…I’m sure just as hard as you described. It had to be sooo hard going through what you did…especially without your mom’s support here in person. But…like you said…she is still here, and still supporting you, just in a different way.
I will try to keep reminding myself of that when things get tough… Thank you so much for your post, and letting me know that I’m not alone, because sometimes, I feel so lost. Especially when friends getting married talk about shopping and having lunch with their mothers, etc… All things I’d be doing if my mom was still here….
Post # 9
@Lysie03: My mom passed away about 6 years ago as well. I keep having breakdowns during the wedding planning. Even going as far as not really even wanting a wedding at all. I keep threatening to just go to city hall because i am having a hard time. And i’m not really an emotional person, but this is hitting me hard right now too. I feel like planning isn’t as fun without having someone you can constantly call! My bridesmaids and maid of honor are great – but they all have busy lives and families so i have a hard time bugging them all the time. But anyways, I’m getting a bit better as the planning is going along.
As far as honoring her at the wedding. We used forget-me-nots for her funeral. So my florist is going to hide a silk forget-me-not in my bridal bouquet. She said i will just need to tip it a bit and will be the only one that can see it 🙂 Also, will probably have a candle lit for her in memory which will be the candle we use for the unity candle.
You can always PM me if you need too!
Post # 10
So sorry, I lost my mom years ago but it doesn’t feel like it though. I had my dad carry a white rose for her, since she loved roses, and I think he liked the fact too.
As for planning, I’m def on the other end of things. We could never agree on anything style-wise so I’m sure we would have just argued through the entire process 😛 I could hear her voice in my head through the whole thing. “That’s too extravagant…when I got married…” She was always trying to do everything the cheapest way possible.