(Closed) Motherhood: is it really THAT bad?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 76
Member
5158 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

Prettysmile40:  I know many parents who have personally told me similar. Most of the time, they are parents of older kids (teens, adults) and no longer can be convinced it will all be “worth it” in the end. From my view, they appeared to be good and loving parents. Their children did not know they felt this way.

Your colleagues aren’t alone for thinking this. You can find TONS of confessions sites where parents share these thoughts (eg. http://www.secret-confessions.com/hate/hate-being-a-mom/comment-page-1#comments (2,400+ comments including thsoe that criticise women for being honest about their regrets), http://www.scarymommy.com/i-dont-like-being-a-mother/ (see the 1,200+ comments), http://community.babycenter.com/post/a12270325/do_you_ever_regret_becoming_a_parent

http://community.babycentre.co.uk/post/a27214259/regretting_having_childrenhttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/781410-Does-anyone-else-regret-having-children/AllOnOnePagehttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/1146040–deep-breath-I-regret-having-children/AllOnOnePagehttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1169678-I-regret-having-children/AllOnOnePagehttp://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2019929-Do-you-ever-regret-having-children)

 

There is even an I Regret Having Children facebook page. And see this on the importance of people talking about their regrets of having children and/or motherhood: http://jezebel.com/we-need-to-talk-about-women-who-regret-motherhood-1635470629

 

It really isn’t “rewarding” and fulfilling for everyone, which is why I am so against anyone pressuring anyone else to have children.

 

ETA:

It is also why I am so encouraging of honesty from parents, even if it sounds “awful” to someone else.

In her book “I’m Okay…You’re a Brat“, Susan Jeffers, a parent of two, talks about how some people have the LBP (Love Being a Parent) gene, and others don’t.  She is one of those who does NOT have it. Even when things are hard, the LBP parents still “love” it and find it worth it, and can be dismissive of those who don’t love it or find it worth it.  I highly recommend her book, whether or not you plan to have children. It’s very interesting.

 

Post # 77
Member
575 posts
Busy bee

For me personally, motherhood so far has been like writing a thesis. It’s a project that consumes all your time, keeps you awake at night, deprives you of social life, vacations and limits all other ocuppations. It also is a project which is of interest to a very select and narrow group of people, who also often don’t understand your struggles and problems and have little to no (or sometimes wrong and confusing) advice or help to give you. However, from time to time you stumble across something interesting and unexpected and realize that this is the best thing that could have happened to you.

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