Post # 16
icedcappuccino : motherhood changed my life, but it didn’t end it. All of my hopes and dreams are intact and I have some new ones. Having a daughter has motivated me to be as amazing as she thinks I am and to be a good role model for her. It’s also made me an efficiency ninja because juggling a full time job, a house, and a family leaves very little free time. I feel like I live more intentionally now because I don’t want to waste time. Rediscovering the world through the eyes of a toddler is fascinating and reinvigorating for me. I remember once when she was a baby we were walking down the street and I was wearing her and she suddenly threw her head back and looked up at the flowers on the tree we were walking under. I stopped and enjoyed them with her and realized how many simple pleasures I hadn’t paid attention to in recent years because I was also on the go or distracted by my phone.
Post # 17
LilliV : yes!! I’ve learned to slow down, recently I stop and point out all of the school buses that we see on our way to school because my daughter gets a kick out of them.
She’s three now, and I’m always fascinated to find out what she says when I’m not around. She says things that I have told her. My husband had a small heart attack and we told my daughter that her daddy’s heart was sick and that he had to stay at the hospital so the doctor could make it better. I told her school just in case she was acting off, I later found out that she was talking about how her daddy’s heart is sick.
Having such a tiny little person watch you and learn from you is life changing. I’ve made many positive changes simply because I know that she is watching and learning from me.
Especially now that she is talking 😳 my sister was driving her a few weeks ago and someone pulled out in front of her. My sister said “really, lady???” And from the back seat she hears my daughter say “my mommy stops for ALL of the stop signs… you don’t stop for anything…” what a sassy pants!!! I do want to know what else she says about me though lol
She thinks I’m the best person on the entire earth right now and it really encourages me to be the best version of myself that I can be.
Post # 18
Just curious, do you feel obligated for some reason to have children? It’s not for everyone, and it’s 110% ok if you decide that it’s not something you want to do, even if you feel pressure from others to have children.
If you do have children one day, I would encourage you to at least wait until you are ready to take that step, and not consider it a burden to your life. My friend is on the fence with children, she likes the idea of them, but she knows that if a baby was put into her life right now (she’s 34) that she would feel exactly the same way – it was ending her life as she knew it, and she’d be upset and resentful. So, therefore, she’s putting the idea on hold until she’s moved on from that thought and is excited about the idea – if that day every comes. If it doesn’t, she’s fine with that too.
Basically, motherhood is not something you are REQUIRED to do, and many many women have perfectly happy and fulfilling lives without children.
Post # 19
New mom here as well. My baby is almost 8 weeks old. I also work in a female dominated industry….and let me tell you what. They are some seriously badass, successful women who also have young kids themselves. Having kids didn’t stop them from achieving (maybe paused for a bit in the beginning) but a good chunk of them are making $250k+. I would consider that successful and not held back.
This is all about your attitude. If you think you can’t, or you think motherhood is a disability, it will be. Only for you though. Not for those who think they can.
FWIW- my baby is still very new but he hasn’t stopped me from doing too much. Having a supportive and helpful partner is also key
Post # 20
My son is 14 months old and while motherhood hasn’t ended my life/hopes/dreams, it has drastically changed things. We may move somewhere we always said we wouldn’t because we’ve realized how much we’d like to be closer to family. I’m still a lawyer, still working the same crazy demanding job I always did, but the down time I used to have is gone. My weekday schedule revolves around daycare drop-off and pick-up and my weekend schedule revolves around baby’s naps. I can count on one hand the times I’ve been outside of our house after baby’s 7pm bedtime since he has born.
100% will say there are times I regret it. Moments where I reminisce about life before baby, when I could sleep in and do whatever I wanted, go wherever I wanted, all whenever I wanted. But big picture, no. My son is just the sweetest, kindest thing and I’d do anything for him. Was everything much harder than I ever thought it would be? Yep. But as the months tick by, we’ve adapted (and keep adapting) and are finding that this new normal is something unexpected, but very special.