(Closed) Mothers and Money

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Is your mom paying?  If so, then I think you have to just guide her to a more affordable solution that she thinks is her idea.  If she isn’t, just tell her no.

Post # 5
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sorry, but I think that if she’s paying, she gets to decide how money is prioritized. If you want a nicer photographer, add some of your own money to go towards that.

Post # 6
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

@nolabee39:  This is really difficult b/c if your mother is paying, then I do feel like you need to defer to her in some respects.  I mean, I don’t think she should pick out your dress or dictate everything, but if she is paying then she probably feels like some of the events (the reception, the luncheon) will reflect upon her, which is probably why she didn’t want to throw the super casual Bridesmaid or Best Man luncheon. Have you tried simply talking to her and telling her that although you really appreciate the generosity she is showing you by paying for the wedding, that you still feel like it’s YOUR wedding and want your personality and style reflected in the events?

Post # 7
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@les105:  I couldn’t have said it better myself!  When you’re spending someone else’s money, you kind of have to follow their input. I’d let Mom have her way for most things, and cover the photographer from my own money. 

Post # 8
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@fishbone:  Agreed, let her throw the wedding and food part however she wants as long as you dont disagree or hate it and pay for the photographer yourself.  My parents paid for my recpetion, I was trying to help them save money and cut out apps and maybe a limited bar, my mother said nonono, we wont have enough food, blah blah.  I finally said fine, you want more, and you want to pay for it, I’ll order as many apps as you want and we’ll have the open bar.

Post # 11
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If she is paying than you have no problem, IMO. You have a real problem when your mom (who isn’t paying) demands you do all of these lavish things!

Let her have her fun….if it’s not coming out of your pocket, who cares?! Just go with it! 😉

Post # 12
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would just break down the actual cost of what she’s planning and then suggest a couple of other nice, comparable things that are less expensive.  There is a huge middle ground between crawfish and pizza.

Post # 13
Member
1866 posts
Buzzing bee

@nolabee39:  Wow, I feel for you.  I can’t imagine being dependent on my parents!  It would be nice to have “free money” but can understand you being frustrated since you don’t really have any financial freedom.  Hopefully your conversation with your mother goes well!

The topic ‘Mothers and Money’ is closed to new replies.

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