Post # 17
Yeah, this is a toughie. So far it looks like we are alternating for spending Mother’s Day and Father’s Day with families — or we try to combine. This can be difficult because my family lives in Temecula, we live in Irvine, and his family is in Huntington Beach. We see his family a lot more often than mine, so if my parents ever really get the itch to spend a holiday with us, we genarally oblige. We do Christmas Eve with his family and then drive down to Temecula Christmas morning for my family. We combined Thanksgiving this year because it was two days after he proposed. However, my family doesn’t usually do Thanksgiving on Thursday, so we eat at his parents on Thursday and my parents on Saturday.
We have already decided that this all changes when we have kids — then our parents will have to come visit us!
Post # 18
Now that you’re engaged and about to be married, you get to start making those decisions and starting your own traditions now….I disagree that you have to wait until you have kids, and until then, you just go with the flow.
It’s a really hard situation to be in because you don’t want to rock the baot that Future Sister-In-Law has been sailing all this time, but remember, everyone has been through it including her (since she has created an event for both her mom and your mom). It doesn’t mean you just have to go along with it because it’s "tradition".
If you’d rather not combine the whole thing with all three moms, you just have to figure out what’s right for you. As much as you’d like to see both families for every holidays, it does come down to you choosing because it gets to be too much.
I definitely do agree that whatever you decide, you do it as a couple. You and Fiance are your own nuclear family now, and you should make these decisions and execute them together.
Post # 19
Yay SoCalBeachGirl! Definately. And cuddlebug, your multiple families are not being very fair if everybody expects you to spend every holiday with them. My Fiance has kids (18 and 20) so we also had the issue of split holidays – up until this year the parenting plan specified which holiday the kids spent with which parent. Now that they are both over 18, our plan is to make our own holiday plans and let them know they are welcome. If they choose to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas morning or Easter with their mom, that’s just fine. What we are not going to do, and what we also don’t expect our parents to do, is adjust holiday plans to accomodate some kind of crazy marathon house-hopping schedule. So Thanksgiving dinner is at 6:30; and they just need to let us know if they are planning on coming. If they can’t, but stop by early, we’ll visit with them while cooking; if they stop by late we’ll get them a piece of pie. Otherwise we’ll call and wish them a Happy Thanksgiving, and we’ll have a fabulous time with the friends we invited for dinner!
Post # 20
cuddlebug – I’m in the same boat. Except Fi’s dad does Thanksgiving with his parents and his current wife’s parents too. So we did four Thanksgivings and Christmases this last year – my parents, his mom, his dad’s parents, and his stepmom’s parents. Fi got sick (literally) from eating so much Turkey.