- 7 years ago
Ok, so I am really a mom who frequents the boards because my daughter is not crafty and I am , so I hunt for what she describes and figure it out.
First, I know that it is their day. Even though I’m helping them with the DIY, I’ve waited for them to show me what they want and then go in search of the how-to. The wedding/reception/everything is going to be out in the country at a refurbished barn. Also, we are divorced parents, but we get along, including the new spouses. My ex (the brides father) has not been very into the wedding (although I realize he’s a man) and daughter has expressed some disappointment that he doesn’t ask more questions, etc. The groom’s parents and I are each putting in about the same amount of $$. My ex is doing about 1/6. The now stepmom’s family is about 40% of the guests, and that doesn’t bother me either, as that family has accepted my children with open arms. Okay, that’s the background.
And before I go further, I want to tell everyone that I have not shown any disappointment to my daughter in any way, shape, or form, but…
They (the couple) are not dancers so they aren’t having a band or a DJ. Just music from an iPod. If guests feel like dancing, so be it. They are also providing things like volleyball, jarts, lawn games, in hoping that it will provide entertainment and let the families mingle between themselves because they will probably never all be together again. Well, this weekend my daughter asked me for suggestions for father/daughter and mother/son dances. I asked if they had changed their mind about dancing and she said no, but they just want those dances and their first dance. I said I could find some lists on the internet that had some that I couldn’t recall off the top of my head.
Then we moved the conversation into how to enter the ceremony, seating, etc. She thinks they are going to have the groom walk in with both of his parents so he doesn’t just magically appear from the side. then I asked her about herself and she said just her dad, if that’s okay. I told her whatever she wanted was fine.
But inside, I am crushed. I know that it’s the picture every little girls dreams of growing up. I just feel like although he doesn’t so much in her life anymore, the spotlight is on him with her. And it will look just like what everyone is expecting.
I just keep telling myself that when I am the last one to walk in, I will look out and see everyone/thing and it will be fine. And then I can stand at the front and watch them come in together and tell myself that even though we (ex and I) didn’t stay together, she is the daughter that I hoped for and wouldn’t change anything about her. And that when it’s all said and done, I won’t remember the part about feeling hurt now at all. But I need some convincing now to get me over the bump in the road.