(Closed) mothers that wear white….uhhh

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 33
Member
2285 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

A short, tight, white lace dress is just tacky for her to wear. In this case, I would say to tell her that it makes you uncomfortable for her to wear white, ivory, or champagne because these are bridal colors, and that this dress would be lovely in another color.

Post # 34
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Think that’s something?  I have a friend who’s mother had someone make her a white dress with a lace overlay then told my friend, “I think I’ll have her put a train on it”, which she did.  She also refused a oorsage and insisted on carrying a bouquet of calla lilies.  Yeah…the wedding was bascially her wedding by the end.  I thought it was ridiculous as did my friend but she let her do it rather than fight with her over it.

Post # 36
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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@OctBride-2012:  Oh my goodness…that is just unbelievable!

Post # 37
Member
1889 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It’s annoying, but it’s one of those things that isn’t worth getting into a big fight over it.  DH’s dad’s new wife AND her daughter both wore white, lace dresses to my wedding, and though it raised a couple eyebrows, it truly did not affect my wedding or my happiness, or anyone else’s, in any way.

Now, if she’s trying to wear a white strapless Vera Wang with a long train and a veil, then I might be a little concerned.  Anything else is just people not having the best etiquette, and it’s really not your job to tell them what not to wear.

Post # 38
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

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@futurepilotswife_:  

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@Ms_Pinoy: 

It was absolutely bizarre.  She also didn’t want my friend’s father to participate in the wedding because her parent’s were never married, her stepfather had adopted her, and a lot of people didn’t know about the real father.  My friend put her foot down on that because she’s always had a relationship with the man.  Her mother is a real piece of work…nice woman but a piece of work. 

Post # 39
Member
1430 posts
Bumble bee

@futurepilotswife_:  I think when I hear of a MOB wear white I usually think they are either totally clueless or attention seeking.  Some dresses are tolerable but the one she picked out is very “bridey”- seeing how that looks exactly like the one I wore to my wedding rehearsal.  Honestly, don’t let it get to you the only one is reflects poorly on is her. 

Post # 40
Member
9082 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Would someone please indulge me on this? Why is it not okay for anyone else to wear white? I mean, it’s pretty common knowledge that the only reason why most wedding dresses are white is because Queen Victoria’s dress was white to a fancy ball.

I know it’s now a tradition, but why is it taboo? What meaning is there to someone else wearing white?

Maybe it’s because I don’t see it as a big deal, but I genuinely don’t understand color taboos.

Post # 41
Member
3696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If some of you REALLY aren’t going to have even a LITTLE bit of an “Are you f’in kidding me she’s wearing WHITE to MY wedding!” moment… more power to you.

My Mother-In-Law is Taiwanese – she’d have no clue it was rude to wear white to a wedding.  She had a super cute white dress she wanted to wear and all I said was “actually, it’s tradition that only the bride gets to wear white on her wedding day, let’s go shopping together and pick you out something new that you love even more.”  We went and picked her out a gorgeous blue dress.  My SIL didn’t give a crap (she’s Chinese), so Mother-In-Law wore the white dress to their reception. 

Also – that dress on anyone who has a child old old enough to marry isn’t cool. 

Post # 42
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

I’ve never understood why people make such a big deal about this. Really, what does it matter? It seems to me to be just another thing to let yourself get pissed or stressed about, when there are so many legitimate things to spend that energy on.

Everyone knows who the bride is. I really don’t see how what other people wear should or would in any way make me “pissy” on my wedding day.

Neither my mother nor my FMIl have bought dresses yet (that I know of), and when they do, I want them to buy something they like, and feel beautiful and special in. Case closed.  There’s enough other stuff on my plate that I don’t need to micromanage other people’s attire.

Post # 43
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Do I think anyone would mistake them for the bride? No.

Do  I think it’s super rude and tacky for her to do it? Yes.

Post # 44
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Mark me down as another one that finds it to be bizarre, wierd and downright rude… when coming from either the MOG or the MOB.

I can’t help but think it is some sort of ego trip in those cases… chanelling their own Wedding memories

“Look at me, don’t I look spectacular… as good as the day I married ?”

As others have said, there is a rainbow of other colours… and the whole idea is that ALL the women in the Bridal Party should look amazing… and well as an older woman I can say this part… White (or even off-white, cream etc) are shades that do much to enhance the colouring / skintones of older women… so why even choose it ?

As I said… all around strange behaviour.

 

Post # 45
Member
13904 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’d be more annoyed that my Future Mother-In-Law was wearing a dress made for a 20 year old…  but yes, white is inappropriate.

Post # 46
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

it’s not as bad as it seems. In a few weeks you’ll have forgotten all about it. I went through soemthing similar with my own mom and in the moment it seemed absolutely terrible but it’s really not that bad.  I’d just let her wear it rather than start drama with your in laws. 

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