(Closed) Mother/Stepmom/son dance

posted 3 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Mother/Stepmom and son dance
    Have one dance and switch off between mom and stepmom : (5 votes)
    56 %
    Have two separate dances, one for each : (3 votes)
    33 %
    Other : (1 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1633 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    It’s interesting, I feel like when someone wants to do a parent dance with a bio parent and not the stepparent, everyone is totally understanding of it and it’s normal – but if you switch the situation, as here, it seems squicky and uncomfortable in a way I can’t really put my finger on, even if the stepparent is more of a parent figure than the bio. I can appreciate his predicament.

    I guess the options are:

    1. Dance with stepmom only. Bio mom doesn’t seem like much of a mom.

    2. Dance with both. Perhaps halfway through the song he could hug whoever he’s dancing with, lead her to her seat, and then pick up with other mom?

    3. No parent dance at all.

    It’s not necessarily weird to split the dance. I danced with my dad, and I had been concerned about how my stepdad would feel, but he told me he totally understood and it was my wedding and he didn’t want me worrying about offending him. But then a really cool thing happened, while I was dancing with my dad he said, “I think you and I both know what needs to happen here.” And he led me over to where my stepdad was sitting and handed me off to dance the rest of the song with my stepdad. It was a really lovely moment.

    Has your Fiance approached this subject at all with his mom, or even discussed the wedding in general with her? If she left when he was young and hasn’t been around much, does she even want to be involved?

    ETA: Two separate dances seems like overkill to me.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by  GreenGables.
    Post # 3
    Member
    2657 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    What is the situation between his mother and step mother? Do they hate each other with a passion or are they tolerable of each other? I only ask because, if there isn’t any animosity, dancing half a song with each of them might be a solution. Like GreenGables said, there just seems to be something very uncomfortable about only dancing with step mother and leaving bio mother out completely. If they really don’t get along, I’d probably forego the dance all together.

    ETA: Oh, and I completely agree with GreenGables that two dances would be overkill (to me, anyway).

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by Profile Photo JessieFay13.
    Post # 5
    Member
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    maraudergrl90:  oooh, op are you secretly me?

    We have this same issue. I’m leaving it up to fh, because I’m not getting in the middle of them. My suggestion to my guy will be, just be sure you dance with both moms at some point. I don’t think the ladies will care as long as they feel special. 

    Weddings are annoying this way. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1604 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would skip the mother/son dance.  Maybe after the father/Daughter dance, have the MC invited all parents up (will your fiancess mom have someone to dance with?)

    Post # 8
    Member
    2805 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I’ve seen several split dances. I think it works fine. My SIL did separate songs for her dad and her stepdad, but neither was played in its entirety, so it didn’t seem like separate dances. The DJ began to fade out the first dad’s song, and while fading into the second announced the stepfather of the bride. He faded the last song instead of letting it finish.

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