(Closed) Move in with my parents?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I honestly don’t think I could. Either with my family or with his. Not because there is anything wrong with them. But I honestly think I’d rather have to rent and slowly save for the rest of my life than live with family for years. I mean, how many years would you have to stay with them to be able to buy? If it was just a few months, than maybe…but for years…no thanks. I’d rather rent.

I would miss being able to live my life the way my husband and I do. Do what I want, when I want without having to care what another family wants.

Post # 4
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My SIL and her husband did this on Long Island too, ostensibly to save for a house.

They didn’t end up saving, because they wanted to be out all the time and not at home, so they spent all of their money on restaurants. They almost got divorced from the stress of sharing their space with her parents all the time.

Unless you both get along with your parents extremely well, the house is huge, and you intend to never be home, I wouldn’t recommend it.

Post # 5
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Hum… I think if you have a good relationship with your parents (and I mean you and your Husband do) then do it! It’s a great opportunity to buy a house faster. If in the other hand your relationship is not so good, and can be disconfort from your part or your husbands then don’t…

Post # 6
Hostess
16018 posts
Honey Beekeeper

If it’s only for a predetermined amount of time and your parents are willing to let you, I say do it. The sacrifices you make for a small amount of time in order to save money will be SO worth all of the joy you’ll get from being able to get your own place. And if you have a good relationship with your parents, it really might not be so bad at all!

My biggest piece of advice is to set boundaries and encourage open communication for all involved, and make sure that you and your husband stick to your savings plan so you can reach your goal and reap the benefits of the situation! 🙂

Good luck!!!

Post # 8
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

We love our families precisely because they live an hour away from us. I would rather save at a slower pace and maintain my independence than save at a faster pace and live with family. I seriously shudder at the thought.

Edit: We were not able to buy our forever home until we were in our 30s because it just takes that long to save up a 20% down payment in the DC metro. It was worth the wait and the living in cheap (aka sketchy) areas to make it happen.

Post # 9
Member
2224 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

This is what Fiance and I are considering doing right now! I say if you all get along and there’s enough room and your parents are fine with it, do it! More power to you. The economy is so depressing right now and it’s so hard to save money if you’re not riding high on that 6 figure income.

 

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@b00kbug:  Nope…I wouldn’t even consider it.  For me personally, saving up for a house, along with everything else I have to pay for each month, is just part of my responsibilities as an adult.  If I were about to be homeless with no alternative, I would move in with my parents, but I couldn’t justify moving in so I could save for a house.  Maybe it’s because I’m in my early 30s and I’ve been paying for my own housing for forever, but I just can’t even fathom living back at home again. 

Post # 11
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@b00kbug:  I love my parents. I love his parents. Both would be willing to let us live in their basement apartments (even my brother has offered his). Being usually a very thrifty person, I’ve thought long and hard about this and waffled both ways.

Then last weekend I was home, sitting in the kitchen chatting to my mom… when I turned my head and noticed dad taking a pee with the door wide open, his bare butt visible to me from across the house. I wailed “DAD!” he went “what?! why are you looking over here??” and then made a half-assed (pun intended) attempt to shut the door.

I think we’ve all lived apart far too long to cohabitate happily together. As much as it would save us lots of money, it would come at the expense of all of our independence.. not to mention I’m certain my parents would be ill if they accidentally heard any of our “extra curriculars”…and being quiet for a whole year? Yeah right!

Post # 12
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh yeah I forgot to mention the whole sex thing. They shared a wall with the parents, so they spent an entire year having extremely quiet late night times, and mostly infrequently. Not good…

Post # 13
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would if it were for a few months. But if its going to take you years, no way. 

Post # 14
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Can you tell this is literally my worst nightmare? It has been offered to us multiple times, and there is nothing in the universe that could convince me to move in there, even though I love them and get along well with them.

Post # 15
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My husband and I recently moved back home from out of state and are currently living with my parents. It has certainly been a test. Yes, saving money is fantastic and it is helping us immensely as we search for a house but it also has its drawbacks.

Getting back into the “rules of the house” mindset is difficult. Just simple things like, keeping the kitchen sink clear & not letting dishes set for a few hours– which my Darling Husband and i often did living on our own. Its difficult to get back into the frame of mind that its now just your own place and if you two are fine with it, its cool.

Also, my husband often gets frustrated because we don’t have as much “us” time to just hangout to ourselves. We would always sit together and watch tv, however now its us and my parents and the only real place that the two of us can just be alone is our room.

We’re going on the 4 month mark of living back at home and we are READY to move out. Unfortunately the housing market in Michigan is a bit difficult and we have a relatively specific target home that we’re searching for.

All in all– just be prepared for it to be a process to work at, especially as a newlywed.

Post # 16
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d do it so fast people’s head would spin. It’s 18mos and if you all get along seems like win-win to me.   My older brother moved home with his family, when I was a kid, for the same reasons.  Pretty much everyone I know has done it.  That’s alot of savings to walk away from.  Just a suggestion, you might want to make it two years, you’re going to want to make some changes to whatever house you buy, so it’d be nice to have some extra money to fix it up. 

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