- 5 months ago
- Wedding: March 2020
My boyfriend and I moved in together at the beginning of September. We both have cats and they fight when they are alone in the same room together or when when we are asleep or when neither me nor my boyfriend are paying attention to their every move. I look at my cat as an Emotional Support Animal. I basically meet all the qualifications and can simply ask my psychiatrist for the required documents necessary to receive approval for the designation for my cat. Back to the issue at hand, my cat has slept in the bed with me since he was a kitten. In the past my mental/physical illnesses were so bad that the only thing that prevented me from suicide was waking up in the morning and seeing (and having him on my morning Gratitude List) my little fella sleeping next to me and realizing that he would be constantly looking around the house for me if I would die. (My parents said he does this when I would spend the night over my boyfriend’s place on the weekends before we moved in together.) So, when we decided to move in together, I was elated (even though I wanted to wait until marriage) because I was excited about living with my boyfriend and also having my cat around 24/7. Well, our cats do not get along at all. We consulted my cat’s veterinarian and she told us to place Feliways in the house, prescribed Fluoxetine for my cat, and gave us instructions on how to gradually reintroduce them. We started the process without any success. We can’t even get past Step One in the instructions that the veterinarian sent us. So we decided to keep his cat in the bedroom with the door closed and my cat in the living room by himself. At night when we go to bed, my cat cries at the door but eventually he stops. When I wake up without having slept with my cat in the bed, I always feel off and sometimes downright depressed. So the only way we can think about solving this is pulling out the couch in the living room so my cat and I can sleep together. My boyfriend says he feels like we are separated when we really aren’t. I can’t imagine living the rest of my life sleeping in separate beds. He doesn’t want to re-home his cat and I don’t want him to re-home her either. And there is absolutely no way I would te-home my cat. My boyfriend, from what he sees, thinks my cat is trying to mount his cat. And then she hisses and growls and then they start fighting, and she’s smaller thsn my cat and I’ve heard her scream on a few occasions. My cat is a neutered male and his cat is an unspayed female. Could that be the problem? My cat’s veterinarian said that my boyfriend’s cat being unspayed is not the issue. Has anyone had this problem? What should I do? I’m hoping this is not a dealbreaker but from a previous relationship, I decided that I chose to take on the responsibilty of a cat and never to choose a boyfriend over my cat. It was a very bad experience between a previous boyfriend and a previous cat of mine that was suffering from gastro-intestinal lymphoma. He broke up with me and I have been tortured with years of regret from choosing him over my dying cat. Please help.