Moved In With My Boyfriend And Our Cats Do Not Get Along!

posted 2 years ago in Pets
Post # 16
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Greenspot Farms

I’m cofnused as to why you can’t just switch whose cat gets to be in the bedroom at night?

You could even switch off nightly or weekly to make it fair if necessary.

The cats will get along eventually but you need to adjust your time expectations.

Post # 17
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

May I ask why your cat is not the one sleeping with you guys? I’ll echo previous posters, cats take time to get to know one another. Give them time.

Post # 18
999 posts
Busy bee

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laureng1 :  Our cats hated each other.  I mean REALLY hated each other.  They’d even draw blood when they fought and the outlook seemed grim.  We tried Feliway and kitty Prozac but nothing seemed to help.  We did the whole slow introduction thing but it didn’t seem to matter.  Eventually, we put one cat into one room as you described.  But, instead of shutting the door we bought 3 cheap baby gates and stacked them on top of each other so the whole doorway was blocked but the cats could still see each other.  We put their food on each side of the gate.  It took a couple of months but eventually, they got used to each other and we were able to start having them in the same room together for short, then long, periods of time.  Now they actually like each other.  They choose to spend time together, groom each other, and snuggle.  So there is hope!!  We used baby gates like this so there was no chance of them squeezing through (plus they’re cheap!):

I also recommend switching the cats periodically so they don’t get territorial over “their” space.  We typically switched in the morning and at bedtime.  Good luck and hang in there!! 

Post # 19
8262 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

How did you not “even get past Step One in the instructions”?? It sounds like you didn’t even commit to step 1? You don’t need to re-home any cats at this point. Go back to step 1, and make sure to do things properly. It WILL get better, but you have to be slow, steady and committed. 

Also, it sounds like you are putting your relationship with your cat above your bfs relationship with his cat. Its so lovely that your cat got you through tough times, but it sounds like you are trying to use that for leverage in the relationship somehow. His relationship with the cat is JUST as important. I don’t think you are doing that in this thread, but it sounds like it COULD become an issue if tensions flare in the future. 

Post # 21
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

My cats hate each other, straight up. It’s taken over 2 years for them to be in the same room together without trying to kill each other. They still hate each other, but tolerate each other’s presence. Just give it time. And get his cat spayed!! There’s no reason to have an unspayed cat as a pet. It’s part of being a responsible pet owner.

Post # 22
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

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laureng1 :  as some bees has said: separate your cats with a barrier of some kind (glass door, baby gates etc) and then switch the cats. That way the cats won’t become territorial and will be able to get use to the scent of the other cats. The new cats will become familiar with the new environments as well (without being jump on). 

When we introduce our cats, we had a glass door so they could see each other and smell each other but can’t fight. Then we would switch them up. It went on like this for a few months. 

You cant put your own timeline on animals. Follow their own timeline at their own paces. They will get there. Eventually They will have to establish a hierarchy order to know who is the alpha. That is just how cats and dogs work.

it seem you adores your cats but your bf also adore his. I wouldn’t rehome anyone. They both deserve to be with you guys. Hopefully you both will fall for each other cat. 

Post # 23
201 posts
Helper bee

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britgotherstud :  I adore your cats 😍


i cant help bee, mine came as a bonded pair but everything the others have suggested will have to be done and you’ll really need to stick it out through the tough times! 

Post # 24
8981 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Echoing what others of said, it takes a LONG time, don’t give up. It took my first cat and my second cat (not pictured) a year to settle, but my first cat and my now third cat, after a period of the big white one being terrified on the little white and ginger one, they now get on well. Make sure they have their own resources as well. 

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