Moved in

posted 9 months ago in Married Life
Post # 2
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I’d go ahead and buy the stuff, you can just say mainly it’s for your kitchen when you move, you’re buying stuff in preparation for the move, but the family are welcome to use it if they want.

Post # 3
4816 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Are you sure they don’t have them? Have you asked someone?

My worktops are bare, I don’t like anything out on them so everything has a place. I’ve never seen that as a negative, I think it’s tidy.

If you buy stuff I would just make sure to put it away and keep the kitchen how Mother-In-Law likes it.

Why are you living with his mum?

Post # 4
2812 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

qwertystar :  Just buy what you need, just because she doesn’t like to cook doesn’t mean you can’t.

Seems weird for a married couple to live with his parents and siblings, I would try and move out before 8 months… 

Post # 5
2304 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

qwertystar :  I am a huge fan of cooking. I actually enjoy cooking every night for my husband. If I were you, I would go crazy in a kitchen that, by the sounds of it, doesn’t even have the basics! There’s only so much you can do if you don’t have the proper cooking equipment. 

Why are you living with his mom? I wouldn’t want to stay somewhere that I couldn’t even make a decent dinner. 

Post # 6
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Wow that would drive me crazy too! And I thought my FMIL’s kitchen was tough to cook in lol. I cook there often for holidays and certain get togethers, as she’s not much of a cook and I love to cook, and I always bring some kitchen stuff with me, because all of her stuff is really old and roughed up. She has never been offended by this, she’s just grateful that I’m cooking lol. 

I can’t imagine that your Mother-In-Law would be offended by you buying stuff for the kitchen. She clearly doesn’t value cooking, which is totally fine, but that also means she doesn’t see you buying stuff for her kitchen as stepping on her toes, because it’s just not important to her. If she says something about it, just say you are buying stuff for your future home, you don’t have to directly say that you’re buying it because she doesn’t have it.

As for not having stuff out, some people prefer it that way and that’s fine. I would respect that and make sure you keep the counters clear.

Post # 7
3090 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

I assume you are living with them semi-temporarily while you save a downpayment for your own place or something like  that – regardless, it’s not really our business why.

Your question was whether they would be offended that you are buying stuff for the kitchen. I can’t see why they would be. You’re not saying anything negative about their lifestyle at all, it’s just a matter of fact that you enjoy cooking and, since that’s not something they seem to be really into, they don’t have the tools you need to do it. No biggie. Eventually you will need all that stuff for your own place anyways, so might as well just buy what you need so you can live comfortably in your current situation and then take it with you when you go.

It’s nice of you to offer them dinner as well. Keep doing that 🙂

Post # 9
809 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

qwertystar :  what did Mother-In-Law say about the new items? I’m not wondering if she needs to keep things the way they currently are? Another thing that may sound odd but could work, if she doesn’t like having new items introduced would be to keep them in your bedroom instead of the kitchen.

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