Post # 1
As from my previous post last week http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/its-time-to-say-goodbye-we-called-it-quits , I did move out this past weekend, into an apartment. It has it been tough to say good bye.
Last night, I went over for a few last dishes, and all we could do was cry. I broke his heart, seeing him cry, only made me cry more. He told me, he knows now there are things he would have done differently, especially last week when I told him it was time to let go and move on. He said he would have said no, you can’t leave, you can’t go, you cant leave me. Man, tp hear a grown arse man, melt down in front of me like that, brought an enormous amount of pain and tears to my very soul. He said he told his family, and all they could say was, run back and get her. Tell her you love her and would do anything for her. ANd the thing is, I know he would in a minute! BUt how could I be with this man, and give him something he doesnt want when the time comes (I can’t give him a baby and make him unhappy, because he doesnt want a baby anymore…. actually, he would “deal” with it, but what kind of person would I be, if I gave him something he doesnt want).
Ive second guessed myself already so many times over the weekend. Did I make the right choice? All I want to do is be with him, grow old with him, love him, have his baby, etc. And although I know I made the right choice, because he doesnt want to have any more kids, deep down, my very core is in a million pieces. This man will forever hold the key to my heart. I feel lost, empty and so incomplete.
Post # 3
@Miss Pez: I’m sorry.
When there is a break-up it is hard to think of what might be ahead. But trust that you will find the one you will be with-who will want the same things in life as you–and that you will heal in time.
Post # 4
I can’t imagine how you’re felling, but be strong. Tomorrow always comes, you can get through this.
Post # 5
You made the right choice, but I am so sorry you’re hurting. The right choice isn’t always easy, but the thing is, you’ll heal and you won’t hurt forever. With him you’d always be hurting, so it is best to cut things off now. Stay strong!
Post # 6
The crazy thing about our hearts is they always heal when we leasy expect it. Hold on and know it will get better and the pain will pass don’t try to force it too soon. Cry about it, yell about it, talk about it until you get it out of your system it is all part of the process. You made the right choice for your future happiness, if you had stayed there would always be a part of you that wasn’t happy.
Post # 7
I think, from what you have written in the past. that this is the right move for you.
You deserve to be happy ALL the time, not only sometimes. You deserve someone who wants a family and a future as much as you do. And you will find another man who makes your heart sing and glow in ways you won’t be able to have even imagined.
Post # 8
@Miss Pez: this will be the most difficult stage of the breakup. the loneliness. keep yourself busy.
before you know it, your pain will turn into happiness and hope.
Post # 9
I’m so sorry you’re hurting so much, but it sounds like you made the right decision. GIve yourself somet ime to hurt and then pick yourself up and move on. It’ll get easier. And we’re all send you warm wishes.
Post # 10
I can’t imagine being in your situation… well I am sort of a baby dilemma myself but it’s quite different from yours.
I’m not sure if I want a baby. I am on the fence on that. One day i do the next i don’t. My Fiance has two kinds 9 and 12 that live with us half the time (every other week for a week). Before I met my Fiance i always thought i wanted children. BUt now that I live with them… I am really second guessing it.
If we want to try for a baby he has to go through a vasectomy reversal procedure first, then we have 50% chance of concieving.
Do we do the procedure and then leave it to chance or just not do it ? Cuz I am not sure if I want a baby anymore. Fiance does want one.
I find that I think I would be ok either way because as long as we are together we will tackle it just fine.
I guess I am lucky in the way that to me it doesn’t matter becasue what if I really wanted one and we couldn’t have one… it would be devastating.
I guess it’s all about the way you feel about it. If you know for a fact that you want a baby and regardles oh him… then you did the right thing.
Post # 11
@mypinkshoes: Definetly the lonileness and the sadness. Thoughts of him. Thoughts of us. But thank you for the comforting words.
@Lulume: I can see your situation. Being both ways. He has 4 girls already. And at times, I am feel like I dont want any children, but then I just feel selfish because I want him all to myself. But then again, I know in my heart, I want a child.
@radar: Thank you! Yelling it out might be the best solution. I wish I Was mad at him, to make this an easier transition, but I am not. I am just hurting.
Post # 12
I read your previous post, you’re doing the right thing… it is hard and this meeting is part of the breakup process, seeing those emotions and the pain. It is absolutely wise to have left
Post # 13
Reading your last post, I believe you absolutely did the right thing, I know right now you’re remembering the good times and the positive feelings. Just remind yourself why you had to leave. Then one day, when the man of your dreams comes along and you have your baby in your arms, the pain will have all been worth it.
Post # 14
The anger part comes later. After a bad break up I went through the same thing. I just wanted to be mad at him but I was too hurt. Then months down the line I got angry. It was a process, but I know you can get through it.
Post # 15
@radar: I had a smidge of anger yesterday! I said a few choice words, but not out of anger, out of being hurt.
I’m at that point of thinking I don’t deserve better than this. Or deserve a man that will want to have a baby with me one day. I told him that he had babies with all these scummy women, yet he wont have one with me…. don’t worry, his mother and brother told him the same thing and he should be chasing after me. I know it is just my mind playing with my emotions. I have to believe I deserve the life I see and want for myself.
Post # 16
You deserve to be with a man who wants to have a child with you…not just deal with it…and he is out there! I’m so sorry you’re hurting.