Post # 1
Hey guys, I don’t know where to post this exactly… I’m new here. But looking for any advice. I’m feeling kind of down.
I graduated college last December and last month I moved to a new city, 5 hours away from home, in order to be close to my boyfriend of 3 years. He’s military and stationed here. I have my own apartment and I live alone.
I love living in the same city as my boyfriend and things are great with us. He stays with me 3 or 4 nights a week and things are progressing nicely. I knew the move was necessary for our relationship to move forward, and it’s what I wanted, but I can’t help but feel really lonely. 🙁
He has friends here. I only have him… I find myself feeling really lonely when he makes plans with friends or just isn’t here. And it really, really bothers me because I’ve always been independent. Suddenly I feel like I’m depending on him for my happiness.
I adopted a puppy and that’s helped a lot. He keeps me a lot of company and I’m happy to have him, but I miss having friends and family, SOMEONE, around.
I guess I’m just looking for suggestions or encouragement that this will get better. I’m having a hard time justifying this move because I’m constantly missing home and looking forward to plans that I make with friends back home (I’m going to go back once a month). I feel like if I don’t make friends here, I’ll never be happy.
I’m living in a great town now- Savannah, Georgia. There are things I like about living here. I got a great first job that I love and I can support myself comfortably. I’m close to the beach and I love the city in general. There are plenty of people my age and things to do… I just don’t know how to go about making friends without having school as an outlet. I just feel really alone 🙁
Post # 2
I moved to a city about an hour from home 7 years ago (when I graduated college). I didn’t move for a guy, but I met my SO a few months into moving here and started hanging out with his friends (since those were the first people I met). I remember feeling really lonely too because my friends were hours away and I didn’t really feel like his friends were my friends. So, I made myself make my own own friends anywhere I could. I found out that the easiest place to meet people were at work. Do you work with anyone around your age? It takes time, but you will meet people. I have to say that my best friends are still my college friends, but I’ve made a few solid friendships here and it’s been really nice. Just keep active and be outgoing. Talk to people at work, at the gym, anywhere. It will get better.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter's Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
I moved to a new city for work – without a relationship either! I decided fairly early on that I needed a hobby, so I took up roller derby…which has been the best thing I ever did. It has been a brilliant way to meet new people and I’ve been lucky enough to find a league which is incredibly tight – it really is like a giant family. im not necessarily saying that derby is the right thing for everybody (although I would tell anyone to give it a go!) but a hobby or team sport of some sort would be a good place to start I reckon.
Post # 4
How about taking some classes with your puppy. You might meet some new people, make some play dates at the dog park, etc.?
Post # 5
That’s understandable. It’s important to know that what you are feeling isn’t weird. I moved across the country for my Boyfriend or Best Friend (of 8 yrs) and even had a law school to join when I got here but I still felt lonely. We were living together (which was really good) but he worked 16+hour days and I was busy with school so it was different.
You have a lot of good things going for you so remembering those and being grateful helps to being happier – like a good job, nice apartment, dog, bf and a NICE CITY!
Try meetup.com/meetups.com I went on it even years after living in my new city to meet friends that weren’t in law school and also to have company at events I wanted to attend (local festival but I had no one to go with since I didn’t want to ONLY do things with my fiance and I didn’t know people who would want to go) so I met up with people from meetup there. 🙂
I also found a flash mob group on there that I did flashmobs with which was fun.
It takes time to build relationships/friendships so some of these experiences might be superficially fun but going to events/joining hobby groups is a good start!! Also, do any of your friends know people in your new area? Have them connect you via facebook. A friend of your friend can easily become a new friend for you or at least invite you out with their friends and maybe one of them will click. Also, try inviting your old friends to visit you rather than you always going back — even if they come one at a time, this will let you explore your city with another new person and help make your new place feel more like Home!
Post # 6
I completely understand. I moved from sunny California where my friends and family are, to cold, wet Washington where I know nobody so that my then SO (now FI) could transfer his job. To top off the cake, his work takes him out of town roughly every other day for two days at a time. Grrr! In this process I’ve realized the older you get, the harder it is to make friends. Have you tried meetup.com? It has a lot of different groups designated to all different areas. It’s a way for you to get out and meet new people and you are doing something for you instead of relying on the Boyfriend or Best Friend. Also groupon has discounts prices for plays, restaurants, and classes (pottery,glass blowing). Also dog classes and dog play dates is another way to get out and meet new people. Good luck lady and know you aren’t alone!