(Closed) Movie: He’s just not that into you (spoiler)

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

I agree that there were some good takeaway points.  It’s been like 2 years since I’ve seen it, so I can’t remember all the details . . . I think the bottom like of its message is basically be honest with yourself (and the person you’re dating) and don’t try to force something that just isn’t there when you’re dating.  That, and the fact that, if you’re leading a double life on some level or in some way and betraying another person, it *is* wrong and it’s going to come back to get you. 

Post # 4
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee

I really don’t feel that movie does a waiting woman justice- I am sorry, I didn’t like it. I was very happy when Jennifer left, as I should feel anyone unhappy should do but I was so upset when she went back to him and said she doesn’t need to be married to be with him. I felt like she was setting aside her wants and needs to be with a man who wouldn’t meet them. Very weakin my opinion as NO MAN should be given so much power. I am glad the guy proposed in the end, but it isn’t going to happen like that  in real life and so I would rather see waiting women take charge of their lives and their futures instead of give it all to a man (regardless of how she feels about him) who isn’t giving her as much.

Post # 5
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

@armychica06: Definitely agree with this.  I know it must be difficult after investing so much, but the bottom line is that every person deserves to be treated with honor and respect — even by ourselves.  When Jennifer went back to Ben, she was essentially saying she was willing to settle for less than being treated with honor and respect, and she wasn’t going to treat *herself* as a women of value to be honored.  It’s sad, because we as women know in our hearts that that’s what we’re doing when we do it. I think the marriage issue is not just about disagreements over a piece of paper, but it’s ultimately an issue of honor and respect in the heart of the party who wants to be married.  

So, yeah, things worked out here, but like you say it’s not always that way.

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@armychica06: I think the take away on that was if you truly love someone, you will learn what sacrifices you can make and still be able to be happy. He was there for her when her dad died (I think that’s what happened, its been a while since I’ve seen the movie), and I think him helping so much, after seeing how selfish her BILs are, made her realize that in her case, love really is enough. And you know what? It made Ben realize that marriage truly makes her happy, so he was willing to do what it took to make her happy. I actually think it was a really good portrayal of the sacrifices some people make for the one they love, even if it isn’t typical results

Post # 7
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I was happy too when Jennifer left. I like Gennifer Goodwin the actress, but didn’t like her character. Drew Barrymore was misused. 

Post # 9
Member
4682 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I want to see it again.

Post # 10
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I definitely agree with @LondonAmericana: & @armychica06:.  I didn’t like that Jennifer went back to Ben.  Everything shouldn’t be sacrificed for a man.. and, for me at least, marriage is not one of those things that should be sacrificed. 

Post # 11
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee

@MrsSl82be: Eh, I guess I disagree because if he really loved her, he would have sacraficed marriage for her. Eh- maybe I just view it differently. She wanted to be married, he has no good reason not to be, and she was unhappy because of that- there should have been no reason for him to go back to her when he wasn’t fufilling her needs.

Post # 12
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Duplicate Post

Post # 13
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I tend to agree with @armychica06: and @LondonAmericana: in that it was disapointing to see the Jennifer character go back to Ben after she had been clear in what she wanted for the future and he totally disregaurded her wants in that situation.  He was only doing what he wanted, and staying with her without marrige is what was easy for him, but was not what she wanted out of life.  She felt strongly enough to end her relationship over it- no small matter- and he didn’t seem to realize how important it was until she said she could be with him without being married- ie changing her wants for him- that he could be satified with giving her what she wanted.  Not sure if that makes any sense, but hopefully the point gets accross :-).

Post # 14
Member
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Meh, I don’t think it’s fair to judge Ben’s character too much for not wanting to get married.  It wasn’t just to HER, it was in general.  Too often we side with the woman because it’s our point of view, but I think we also need to consider the other side.  Ben’s character didn’t believe in marriage, he didn’t want to be in one, and I think it’s great that he stood his ground (at least at first).  Saying that Ben’s character disregarded what Jennifer wanted in life isn’t fair – she was also asking him to do something he truly didn’t want.  It wouldn’t be fair to either of them to force themselves into either one of the situations.   And that’s why the broke up.  He’s not a bad guy!  But I did like how he was totally there for her during her dad’s heart attack recovery and I think it’s awesome that they were able to figure it out in the end.

I COULDNT STAND Gigi.  She drove me completely insane and was such a ball of stereotypes about single girls.  I actually didn’t like any of the characters in this movie because everyone had such issues.  Jennifer Connelly’s character was completely neurotic!

Post # 15
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@KristenGotMarried: OMG I could not stand Jennifer Connelly’s character.  I kept thinking “shit it’s no wonder he cheated on her” she was so cold and rigid and way too uptight.

Post # 16
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@KristenGotMarried: I agree with this sentiment. Gigi was such a disaster, so desperate, piecing together a business card so she could call some guy who she didn’t even really like. In the end, she did learn some things, but watching her be such an idiot at the party (I don’t know anyone who would THROW themselves into hosting some guy she like’s party!) was painful.

Gigi does relay the most important message of the movie in that girls need to realize that they are usually the rule, and not the exception and in this way, they should always respect themselves enough to know that if they are in bad relationships, nothing is going to miraculously change. And definitely not on their time-line or terms, so they are best finding someone who is truly ready to honor them and treat them like gold.

In all honesty, I really adapted the strategy of the book and felt SO much better knowing it wasn’t me and that the right guy would just blow everyone else out of the water. And call when he said he would and never get enough of me!

 

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