Post # 1
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
Hello Bee’s
Im kind of stuck in a little situation. I recently graduated from school and became a hygienist. I work at an office where i am not too happy in. I live in NY and so does my fiance. I was recently given the opportunity to move to Texas. My sister is a dentist and she has an office where she is asking me to move and work for her. The benefits, salary, all seem to be great. But my fiance has an amazing job here where he is in the union and although he doesnt love it for the next few months hes been working a job that is helping us survive. Heres the catch, hes willing to stay here to help us save money and help with my school loans while i work out of Texas. Im scared to move away from him not because of trust issues but because of simply being away. We have been together for 7 years and he has been the light at the end of any dark tunnel. i will be coming back to NY every month for two weekends a month to visit him and my fam. Should i take this job? should i go ? hes not happy about it but he understands how much this will help our situation and our future. Am i making the right decison. Just need some clarity. I am leaving in December.
p.s. i have no commitment to this job my sister an her husband told me if you absolutely hate it here you can always go back. We want you to be happy but we also want you to be successful!
Post # 2
Member
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
Silly question- do you live together? Having another apartment in Texas for that job would negate any financial benefit to being apart. Finding a new job where you are would make more sense… right?
Post # 3
Member
1296 posts
Bumble bee
theatrejulia : Agreed. So would flying back and forth every other week!!
Post # 4
Member
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
beebee1983 : No to mention exhausting. Yikes!
Post # 5
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
Yep, do not underestimate the extra cost for living apart. Even if it is just a small place, there is extra cleaning supplies, furniture and decoration, food is usually more expensive, etc. It certainly is duable in a strong relationship but if money is the main reason it usually doesn’t pay off.
Post # 6
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
geesfern86 : look it’s not like a Texas move offers you amazing career opportunities. It’s still a hygienist job. NY is a big city, if you are not happy at your current office I am sure you can find another one. I would understand considering moving for a career, but in this situation I am truly wondering if there is smth else going on…
Post # 7
Member
5081 posts
Bee Keeper
Another place plus flying back and forth every other week is going to put a huge dent (if not completely eliminate) into any salary benefit that you get. Can you hold off for a while and maybe later on you both could move? If this were a huge career opportunity it might be different, but it sounds like it’s the same position that you have now, could you try to find a better office to work at in NY?
Post # 8
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
How long would you be apart? My only advice is to have a SOLID end plan, i.e. he will move to Texas in X months or you will move back to NY in X months. Where do you want to be in the end? If you’d both like to be in Texas, go for it, if not, I’d keep looking for a job in NY.
Post # 9
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
my first instinct is your family is trying to ‘save’ you and hoping you will start a new life in texas. 7 years and no proposal? if you both dont want to get married okay. But there is more to this story… visiting every other week??? flights are crazy expensive! you wont be saving much if anything. Good Luck!
Post # 10
Member
5938 posts
Bee Keeper
geesfern86 : I personally would stay and get a job nearby. There have to be a lot of dental hygenist jobs out there!
Post # 11
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee
carter2bee : no we are engaged to get married in July lol
Post # 12
Member
1494 posts
Bumble bee
geesfern86 : I think with all of the flying you’ll be doing and the emotional toll it will take on you it won’t be worth it. I mean unless your fiance is planning in the future to move to Texas, you’ll eventually have to move to NY unless you’re proposing a long distance marriage?
I live in NYC and I know that getting a good job is sometimes hard, even with extensive schooling, I think you should concentrate on finding yourself a job close to your future husband that you will love and will offer you the right salary/benefits, these jobs exist but take time to find, especially if you have limited experience.
Post # 13
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
carter2bee : Not to mention that was super rude and presumptuous.
OP I say stay. The apt and flights will not make it worth it financially. Is it possible you are just looking for a clean start job wise? I’d say try to find that near your fiancé
Post # 14
Member
9560 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
seems silly to move to texas. just look for another job in NY. i’m sure you can find one that is a better fit.
Post # 15
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
Wouldn’t that be a waste of money? You would have to find a place to live, furniture, food, house necessities etc.. flights back and forth.. Can you not just find a place to work where you live??