moving away ? Fiance staying?

posted 3 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 2
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Silly question- do you live together? Having another apartment in Texas for that job would negate any financial benefit to being apart. Finding a new job where you are would make more sense… right?

Post # 5
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Yep, do not underestimate the extra cost for living apart. Even if it is just a small place, there is extra cleaning supplies, furniture and decoration, food is usually more expensive, etc. It certainly is duable in a strong relationship but if money is the main reason it usually doesn’t pay off.

Post # 6
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

geesfern86 :  look it’s not like a Texas move offers you amazing career opportunities. It’s still a hygienist job. NY is a big city, if you are not happy at your current office I am sure you can find another one. I would understand considering moving for a career, but in this situation I am truly wondering if there is smth else going on…

Post # 7
Member
5113 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

Another place plus flying back and forth every other week is going to put a huge dent (if not completely eliminate) into any salary benefit that you get. Can you hold off for a while and maybe later on you both could move? If this were a huge career opportunity it might be different, but it sounds like it’s the same position that you have now, could you try to find a better office to work at in NY?

Post # 8
Member
627 posts
Busy bee

How long would you be apart? My only advice is to have a SOLID end plan, i.e. he will move to Texas in X months or you will move back to NY in X months. Where do you want to be in the end? If you’d both like to be in Texas, go for it, if not, I’d keep looking for a job in NY.

Post # 9
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

my first instinct is your family is trying to ‘save’ you and hoping you will start a new life in texas. 7 years and no proposal? if you both dont want to get married okay. But there is more to this story… visiting every other week??? flights are crazy expensive! you wont be saving much if anything. Good Luck!

Post # 10
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

geesfern86 :  I personally would stay and get a job nearby. There have to be a lot of dental hygenist jobs out there!

Post # 12
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

geesfern86 :  I think with all of the flying you’ll be doing and the emotional toll it will take on you it won’t be worth it. I mean unless your fiance is planning in the future to move to Texas, you’ll eventually have to move to NY unless you’re proposing a long distance marriage?

I live in NYC and I know that getting a good job is sometimes hard, even with extensive schooling, I think you should concentrate on finding yourself a job close to your future husband that you will love and will offer you the right salary/benefits, these jobs exist but take time to find, especially if you have limited experience.

Post # 13
Member
386 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

carter2bee :  Not to mention that was super rude and presumptuous. 

OP I say stay. The apt and flights will not make it worth it financially. Is it possible you are just looking for a clean start job wise? I’d say try to find that near your fiancé 

Post # 14
Member
9173 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

seems silly to move to texas.  just look for another job in NY.  i’m sure you can find one that is a better fit.

Post # 15
Member
799 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Wouldn’t that be a waste of money? You would have to find a place to live, furniture, food, house necessities etc.. flights back and forth.. Can you not just find a place to work where you live??

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