(Closed) MOVING before the wedding – jobs, anxiety, ACK!

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sarahsunny:  Congrats on the big move.

Every handles changes like this differently.

I am one that loves big changes. Darling Husband moved across country ‘just because”. Now we are likely moving back across country to yet a different state (just waiting on offer letter soon). However this time I am pregnant and will likely be living by myself for a couple of months in between.

I have also had 4 jobs in the last 5 years because of layoffs/company mergers etc.

And I love it. 

I dont consider anything a “final decision”. It may take work and planning, but your situation can always be changes. I am one of those people that says to people “If you dont like, change it” Rarely, if ever, is something permanent.

you ask how do we cope? Well we look at the exciting stuff we will do and the positive changes that will come. We also plan a lot. We make plans to go out and make friends, what restaurants we want to try, new areas we want to visit. etc. 

I find having an actual plan makes things a lot easier and exciting.

Post # 4
Member
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@sarahsunny:  We were almost in the same situation as you. We got married in our home state and moved right after the holidays across the country. We moved to a city in which we only visited once for 2 days and we have no family. Hubby got a job in our new city and of course, I came with him. It wasn’t an easy decision since I didn’t want to leave my family and be so far away but I knew it wouldn’t be right to ask my hubby to stay and let go of an opportunity.

Once we arrived to our new city we were so busy getting all of our things into our new place and decorating (we still are) and getting to know our new surroundings. How we have coped with being away from family and being virtually alone, we go out and meet new people out in our community, our puppy helps us meet people since everyone gravitates to pet her. We try new restaurants, check out new hobbies and now, we are considering volunteering our time to a local pet rescue. We still stay in constant communication with both of our families thru Skype, phone calls and Face Time which has helped us in our transition.

Post # 5
Member
1598 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

OMG! I thought I was the only one dealing with this in such a short period of time!!

We got engaged in January 2011.

About 6 months later, my fiance started a new job.

I started a new job around the same time, but it only lasted for a month because it was HORRIBLE!!! (it was a doctor’s office and they were committing all sorts of HIPPA violations). 

The very next day I got a new job at a plumbing and heating company and was there for 11 months, but the hours were inconsistent, so I started job hunting again.

In June 2012 got hired at a HUGE, prestigious company making WAY more money than I ever expected to in my life. I was a receptionist. About a month after I was hired, the CEO’s executive assistant quit suddenly (b/c the CEO was a total arrogant jack ass) and they asked ME to fill in for her. They didn’t care that I had no experience and barely knew anything about the company, they just forced me into it. And they were planning this big, giant event with delgates from Russia and I was in WAY over my head. But I did everything that was asked of me …. and the day after the delgates left, they fired me because “I wasn’t right for the job.” Um, that’s because I was hired as a receptionist, NOT an executive assistant!!

So I was on unemployment for 3 months (HORRIBLE!! HORRIBLE!! I was so depresed. They literally fired me 12 months before my wedding. I was borderline suicidal).

But I got a new job in December 2012. I’m still there (it was temp-to-hire and they just hired me on full time/perm) but it’s HARD and stressful. lol

In February 2013, we found a house we loved, made an offer, and they accepted it! YAY!

We just got the formal loan approval and are now in the process of tying up loose ends and stuff. Closing is in mid-April.

In the midst of all this job/house stuff, our wedding is 6 months away!!!

Some days I feel like I’m losing my mind. I cry almost every day. Sometimes they’re happy tears, sometimes they’re sad, sometimes they’re scared tears. lol

It is REALLY hard. I seriously think the only time I’ve ever been this stressed out was when I thought my mom was going to die.

It sounds horrible to say that because this should be a happy time in my life, and overall, it is, but it’s also horribly stressful and scary.

I am just trying to breathe. Deep breaths. A lot.

And focus on the positive. And try not to let fear of what COULD go wrong get in the way of what IS going right.

I am just keeping my eyes on the prize. 

My fiance is SO incredibly patient and supportive so that helps a ton. And my parents and friends/BMs are being very supportive too. 

I try to think about the fact that I’ve been through so much in such a short period and I’m still hanging in there so ….. fingers crossed!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 6
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t really have any advice, just wated to let you know you are not alone!

 

Fiance just got a promotion that is moving us 4 hours away from home and although this isn’t far in the grand scheme of things, I’ve never lived more then 40min from my parents. Big change for me, not as big for him as his family already lives 3 hours away so he’s used to distance.

We’ve had an idea this would happen since late january and it was just confirmed today.

So in the 2.5 months prior to our wedding we are moving, I’m leaving a great job that pays well, start my new job, he starts training for the new position which has us in seperate cities during the week for about a month and buying a house/ finding someone to rent our condo here.

It always sems to be all or nothing with us haha. 3 of the most stressful things you can do (get married, buy a house and change jobs) all in a very short time frame!

Post # 7
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yup. Am only moving 50miles, but it’s trickier than it sounds. Am currently wedding planning, job hunting, trying to continue to do my current job well and clear out all my stuff (moving into a much smaller place). Bleurgh

Post # 8
Member
3371 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m glad I’m not the only bride dealing with relocation and career changes whilst also planning a wedding!

Fiance and I got engaged on Christmas Eve 2012, and since then it’s been less about wedding planning and more about planning the next 2-3 years of our lives. We’ve both had enough of living in China, it’s been a great experience and a fun adventure, but we’re ready to move to a country that provides a more stable, family-oriented lifestyle. We finally settled on Singapore for 2 years, and then back to Australia where I am from. It’s been a really rough few months – I’m the kind of person who likes certainty, and there’s been so much uncertainty in terms of where we’ll end up, when we’ll move, what kind of jobs await us. I had an offer several weeks before him and that was adding to his anxiety, we finally had a breakthrough this week and it looks like, fingers crossed, we’ll be making the big move at the end of May. And we haven’t even started on the logistics of moving yet – I am dreading with packing up our lives and sending boxes everywhere! The majority of our stuff we won’t need in Singapore (a lot of furniture, winter clothing, skis, bikes) so we’ll be shipping some stuff back to Australia…Not to mention all the hassle of trying to get our cat into Singapore too (she’s two months short of the rabies requirement for Singapore). And then there’s the apartment-hunting and getting our bearings around a new city…It’s just a huge headache.

But really, the thing I am most anxious about is getting there and finally starting to plan our wedding properly. We have decided on a destination wedding in Bali, so I’m hoping once we’re settled we’ll be able to take a weekend to visit some venues, and book one as soon as possible. I’m a bit nervous as we want to get married in March next year, and I’m worried the hotels I want may be booked out already.

My only advice would to to tackle one thing at a time. Part of my anxiety is trying to look weeks, months, even years ahead at a time. While forward-planning isn’t a bad thing, I think sometimes it’s sensible just to be pragmatic about the tasks that you need to complete, and address them systematically. I also think a lot about the worst-case scenario. We have each other, we are both healthy and employable and young – I am sure we’ll land on our feet, as will you!

Post # 9
Member
1581 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Moving has been my life since day 1 so it excites me. Yes, you’re leaving something comfortable for the unknown but one day you look back and realize you can feel at home in those places, even if they’re not your real “home”. 

Its an exciting opportunity and you’ll make memories.  Its also very scary but just make the best of it! You have a job lined up so that will help you guys assimilate to your new place! 

Dont forget to just relax and take a break. Moving is hard enough because you’re tired but it’s so much worse when you’re tired and sick! 

 

Good luck and congrats!!

Post # 10
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2001

I’m on the same boat. Fiance was in LA, I was in Minnesota. I moved to LA. A few months later, He got a job offer in New Orleans right as I got a good job and was making friends. We moved and I am so hoping we stay in one place and can settle in. It’s so frustrating now too because we had to sign a lease without seeing the apartment and it’s awful. Homesickness and anxiety for me isn’t fun plus planning a Minnesota wedding in 5 months on top of it all. 

Post # 11
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Bump cause I love the good advice and positivity of this thread! :]

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