(Closed) Would you move across the country for DH? no problem?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I was in the opposite position – I moved my husband 8 hrs away from home to attend grad school – and thank goodness he was wililng to come with me! We are from the East coast, he went to undergrad in CA, and then we moved a couple states away from grad school, so he doesn’t mind moving – it was still a pretty big change though. Maybe give it a chance! Especially if you’re just going to move back afterwards.

Post # 18
Member
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Monkey786:  I’m in DC and have been here for 7 years (including undergrad) but I’m from the LA area. We’re finally moving back in June. As a CA girl, I would say it’s fine out here,  but I definitely am dying to get back.

ETA: Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about the West-East transition. Also, be aware that it costs a butt ton to move, and you’ll be doing it twice.

Post # 19
Member
4831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I moved from NYC to London for my husband. He got a fantastic career opportunity over here, so we picked up our lives and moved to London.

I had to quit my job in NY and it took about 9 months to find a new one. We’ve been here over a year now and are LOVING it. 

I’ve made a new network of friends here and had some fantastic experiences.

I’d do it again in a heartbeat. The first 4 months or so were really hard. I was coming into winter (which in London means the sun sets at 3:30 in the afternoon) and I knew NO ONE. But I would go through that all again for what I have now and the success both DH and I have found here.

I’m also originally from Southern CA and went to the south east for school, so I know what it’s like moving from warm climate to cold and you do get used to it (although I still eventually want to live somewhere that doesn’t get QUITE so cold).

Post # 20
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am moving across country for my Fiance. We’re in a similar situation, it sounds like. The only difference is we’re not coming back.

My Fiance is finishing his MBA program this spring, and after that he has a job already lined up that will require us to relocate 3 times in the next two years, at least one of which will be to the west coast.

I’m also going to be leaving behind friends, family, and a job. And I wasn’t always on board with it. But, the way I see it, its only two years. And it’ll be one hell of an adventure.

So I say give it a shot.

Post # 21
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Absolutely!  But then again, I’m moving to the other side of the world for my SO and he hasn’t even officially proposed.  For me it’s easy to be happy anywhere (probably because I’m a bit introverted and most of my hobbies are solo kinds of things) because I’m with my best friend and we can build our lives anywhere.

That being said, it’s still a big decision and one that you two should make together.  I’d recommend sitting down, talking it out, making a pro/con list, whatever you need to do so that both of you feel comfortable in the decision that you guys make.  Good luck!

Post # 22
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

If it made sense for us and we had enough money to cover us while I looked for a job (or if I had a job lined up), then definitely.  If not… it would take a lot of convincing and planning.  I love my Fiance, but I also love my job and we live in an area that has a lot of opportunity, both job and school-wise.

Post # 23
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think it sounds exciting to make a big move like that!  But I would definitely have to have everything completely figured out ahead of time as far as money goes.  I have a really good job here and I know I couldn’t leave for a couple years and then come back (it’s federal gov’t, which is currently pretty broke and not hiring people).. However, if you are 100% planning on being a Stay-At-Home Mom after he finishes his program and you don’t have a “career” per se, just a job, then leaving your job would hopefully not be too stressful.

By The Way, you are correct, the East Coast weather sucks compared to sunny LA.  But you get to wear cute boots and scarves, so there’s that!  And you’d be getting away from all that nasty LA traffic.

Post # 24
Member
925 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Yes, without a doubt.  I would make sure I had a job secured first, however.

Post # 25
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Well… he’s my husband!  I mean we would definitely be discussing things first and making sure that we had a very well thought out plan and that we were both ok with the sacrifices we would have to make.  But, if my husband had to move to the other side of the country, I would obviously be going with him.  We’re married, we’re a unit, one doesn’t move anywhere without the other.

Post # 27
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We’ve been thinking about the same thing. My fiance wants to go to law school. We currently live close to all our friends and family.  We think it might be a good idea to get out of town for a while. Try out somewhere new while we are young and without kids. But, once he graduates we will move back to be close to family and settle down and start a family. 

Post # 28
Member
380 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Monkey786:  yep I would. I can always find another job and we really only depend on his income. We’ve had to talk about it because the company he is considering could have us moving every few years. I would of course miss my family and friends and make trips to visit all of them. However my fiance’s happiness is the most important to me and I would support him in any of his job endeavours

Post # 29
Member
2223 posts
Buzzing bee

I’ve spent my entire life moving every couple years so I have zero issues with packing a bag and taking off across the country. That being said, I’m currently the primary earner in our family and I take home 2-3 times what my husband makes. Basically, for me to pick up and move now for my DH to go to a grad school, he’d need to be able to guarantee a bomb ass income once he was finished to justify the lost income (from me) during that time, the move, the cost of the education, and the hurt my career would face being out of it for x amount of time (since my job is really only available here). If I had a normal job you could get most anywhere and I wasn’t almost a sole supporter of our household? Hell yes. I’m packing my bags. Where am I going?

By The Way, my family is all over the planet – from Wyoming to England to Japan, so you can tell we don’t mind moving. Honestly, try to look at it as an adventure and an investment for your future as opposed to a scary, lonely move away from family. Friends can be found all over the planet and you’ll have an amazing experience to look back on. 

Post # 30
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’ll be doing it in about six months – actually to a different country. I know we’ll be doing it again whenever and wherever we get jobs post-PhD. It’s a huge change, but it’s a compromise we’ve come to and it’s what’s best for our family, so I’m willing to take the leap. He’s already lived there for over a year and I’ve spent time down there, so I know roughly what I’m getting myself into. I also decided to do it because I’ll be writing my dissertation and want a slower-paced environment, my family doesn’t live where I am now anyway, and all my closest friends have moved away as well, so there’s little keeping me here other than his family and my PhD program. Much easier to give that up (and winter weather, too!).

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