(Closed) Would you move across the country for DH? no problem?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
Post # 32
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeah I am planning on it. My Fiance is in academia and we know that for him to find any kind of job we have to be willing to move wherever. I moved around a lot as a child so I don’t mind, and I see it as an opportunity to find somewhere we really love and meet lots of new people. 

Post # 33
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yes! Have done and would do again in a heartbeat. We had to spend 3 months apart at the beginning of our relationship and from then on we knew, where he goes I go, and vice versa. We hated being apart.

Post # 34
4173 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Mr. 99 would have to come up with something far more elaborate and dangerous than moving across the country to get rid of me…I would follow that man into Hell and back if that’s what needed to happen….I feel that as long as the both of you feel united, and you are confident that DH is aware of what a HUGE request this is of you, and appreciates the fact that you are willing to uproot yourself in the name of your family, adventure and the possibility of finding the perfect yogurt shop, well, I say be bold, move!

Post # 35
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

my husband did this for me! we got engaged around the same time that I was applying to phd programs, and he was willing to move with me anywhere I got in that was the best option–we’re talking about east coast, west coast, midwest, south, anywhere! luckily I got in to a top progam in a city he always wanted to live in so it was a super easy choice, but still, when I go on the academic job market, he’ll most likely be willing to pick up and move anywhere again. we’re super lucky though–he is able to work from home so the transition was very easy for us as he kept his job. also, my parents have done this for each other’s careers multiple times in their lives–first for his career, then for hers. it’s all about balance, what’s best for the family unit as a whole.

Post # 36
2469 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Fiance will be looking for corporate jobs in Seattle with his current company after the wedding, and honestly there’s a good chance he will get one. Since we are younger, with no plans for kids in the near future I am totally game for a new adventure!

Post # 37
744 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would and I plan to! Fiance is a basketball coach and that kind of career doesn’t work like most. Getting a job is very difficult and sometimes a once in a lifetime opporunity. I’m finishing up grad school this semester and the agreement is when his basketball season is over at the job he has now, we will move wherever he gets his next job. Once there, I plan to look for work! I have no problem moving for my man. We’re a team!

Post # 38
1101 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

If it was just for his school, and there was a guarantee that we’d be moving back home as soon as he graduates, then yes I would. It’d be an adventure!

Post # 39
4090 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yes, I probably would after we BOTH decided that it was a beneficial step in life.  However, at our ages usually there is no more school to be had, so it’d be a job move not a school move.

Post # 40
8943 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We moved across the country after we got married.  There were no starting engineering positions where we were so he wouldn’t have had a job and he has the higher income job.  My job was pretty transferrable and I ended up going back to school anyway.  We said we would move back but now that it’s been 3.5 years, I’m not sure if we will or not.

It’s hard leaving your friends and family but sometimes you have to do what is best for the two of you as a family.

Post # 42
2925 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Well, I’m moving across an ocean once I get married, so across the country is no biggie!

But really, he’d need to be flexible too, and we’d need a back up plan in case we hated it in the new place. I couldn’t handle immediate permanence with a big move.

Post # 43
71 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Monkey786:  If it was temporary, i do not think i’d move.  Currently i took a job over 8+ hrs away, and my fi is still in school, so he’s moving down after he graduates, but it permanent 

Post # 44
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I just moved from the southwest, where my firends and family are, to South Carolina for my FI’s job…It was a big step but I’m glad I took it. I am having trouble making friends but I know that just takes time…at the end of the day I am with my Fiance and thats all I need at the moment. Everything else will fall into place…I hope…In the mean time I have my frieds on the hive 🙂

Post # 45
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would do it, especially if it meant I wouldn’t have to work anymore and got to raise our children.

Post # 46
8373 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I didn’t have to move across the country for my DH; however, I did move several hours away, to another state, and I essentially had to give up my life as I knew it up to that point in order to make this change.

Before I married my DH, I lived and worked in a beautiful, major-metropolitan area; enjoyed a 25-year career in an exciting field in which I was well known in my geographic area and had a fantastic job with a wonderful company; had my own house; was an active member of a wonderful church family; and had amazing friends, some of whom are truly like family to me. 

I literally went from being a single, career woman who didn’t even have a plant to care for to the wife of a senior pastor, stepmom of multiple kids, dog owner, and more — living in a very small town in a very rural area where most of my favorite stores and restaurants do not exist. 

I cannot begin to tell you how challenging it was for me to surrender all of that to take on an almost entirely new life in a new area where I knew no one other than my DH and stepchildren (all of whom I was still getting to know at that point) and the people whom I met through my DH.  

The transition was enormous, and I’ve yet to find a job in my field in this area. However, after almost three years of residing here — I spent the first nearly year of our marriage having to transition between my city/state and his town/state and lived and worked from both places until I could sell my house and resign from my job and relocate full time — I have finally started to feel as if I fit in here.

Although it’s been a far greater challenge than I ever expected, it also has been a special time in my life, and I have met some really wonderful people here. I am excited to see what all God has in store for me in this new season of my life.

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