(Closed) Moving forward after a broken engagement

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I can’t offer any advice because I don’t have the same experiences, but I want to say that I wish all the best to you. Whether it’s the guy you’re seeing now or someone else, I hope you find the person who’s just right for you 🙂

Also, it seems like you don’t have any ill feelings toward your ex-fiance, and if that’s the case, I’m impressed. I imagine that it takes a ton of courage for someone to break off an engagement, and for both to heal from it, and it can be difficult to accept that you’re better off apart to pursue your own desires. (Or maybe you hate him and you just didn’t put that in the post!) Either way, good for you for coming through it.

Post # 4
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@CurlyTop24:  +1 well said 

Post # 5
Member
4436 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@CurlyTop24:  I second this as well:)

OP I think you are handling this situation so well, and think it’s great you came to this forum for support. You will always be welcome here! What you are going through is tough, and I know it will get easier with time- I know, easier to say than to believe sometimes. *hugs* from Vancouver

Post # 7
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Sparkidoodle:  Yes, that’s what I thought from the tone of your post. I think that’s admirable 🙂

Post # 8
Member
9952 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First and foremost… a BIG Welcome Back to “the Hive” !!

You and I probably missed each other by a matter of days (I joined WBee around the end of April). 

Anyhow, I don’t have to tell you how great this Website can be, and the GREAT community that exists here…

So glad that you’ve come back to join in the fun… (so much more here in the way of Female Support & Empowerment… than just Wedding Planning)

I read your story… and saw similarities to mine (although I didn’t have an Engagement that ended… it was a 20+ year marriage)

It was very very difficult for sure.

And when the time came, several years later to get back into the Dating Pool… I truly felt like a fish out of water.

Lol… and there were more Sharks & Baracudas in the waters than I care to remember !!

It was difficult and heart-breaking at times… and even at one point I swore off men entirely (figuring that every single was was a Liar, Thief, and Cheater).

Lol, just about that time, Mr TTR walked into my world (or more correctly I into his… as I had been on new turf with some new friends).

When I met him, I was intrigued by him a bit… but so angry with the world (and the men in it) I decided as we had mutal friends, then that is what he’d be “one of the gang”

Well that didn’t last long… he quickly decided he was smitten by me… and all the self-confidence I seemed to exude at the time (lol, aka… fake it till you make… if only he knew)

I think he was even more enchanted… as I was clearly not that interested in a relationship (which of course he interepreted as independence / hard to get).  Lol, I was evidently playing coy and didn’t even know it.

Anyhow, he “entertained” me and let me go on believing we were “just friends” for quite awhile.  In the end his charm won me over… and I had to admit I was crushing on him too.  We became a couple right there and then… and have been rock solid ever since (over 7 years)

I am one lucky gal.

Anyhow… ya it was odd… because having spent more than half my life with my Ex (20 to 45) it was strange to let myself love another man.  BUT this man is good to me, and treats me with respect, so I cannot help but LOVE him and know that this is a good match.

It took time tho to get to a point where either of us felt comfortable to marry again (he too had a bad divorce after a 25 year marriage).  So it was only at Year 6 that we admitted that marriage was on the table, and something we both wanted in the future (we were Engaged in April, and married in December)

So my best advice… let it flow naturally.  Don’t push it in any way.  Allow yourself whatever you need to grieve and get past the hurt.  I was certainly dating & content (happy) with Mr TTR but still had feelings for my Ex.  But over time it became easier… and those feelings dissipated.

The truth is no matter how things get (were)… life goes on.  So do we have to as well.

So yes what you are feeling is only natural… time will make it easier to cope… thought you’d appreciate knowing that from one who’s been there (albeit in a slightly different way)

(( HUGS ))

 

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