- 5 years ago
I’m currently 10 days away from my SO being here, 11 days from my college graduation, and about 22 days away from moving to a foreign country to live with my SO (soon-to-be-fiance) and we’re moving my dog over as well because he’s a rescue that I saved from being put down. As the dates get closer I get more and more emotional and on any one day I can be terribly excited, happy, worried out of my mind about everything, extremely upset, irritable, and just downright mean.
Today is one of those days where I’ve run the full spectrum of emotions and have been crying almost hysterically for the last hour. There’s just so much going on and I just feel like I can’t take it and with my SO and I having completely opposite schedules there aren’t many, if any, people I can really talk to. This is the last week of classes and then I have four (I think) finals next week and to try and I just realized earlier this week that I’ll have to dip into the money my mom gave me for my future wedding (which is also supposed to stay above a certain level as a requirement for my visa) and it’s making me so upset with myself. I’ve been cutting back on everything in my life which includes not going to many outings because it would just cost too much in gas and somehow, I’m still going to end up dipping into money that was meant for a wedding.
Enter Mr. Awesome SO and he keeps telling me not to worry about money, that he can help, that my dog won’t just be my dog anymore, he’ll be our dog. He’s said I can pay him back after I sell my car and just put it in our joint account or towards the wedding again but that’s something I’m not used to at all. It’s really sweet of him and I don’t doubt that he’s coming from a good place but I don’t typically rely on other people. It’ll be 10 more days until I can see him and he’ll be incommunicado for the last 2 or 3 days of that so I’m really kind of on my own since my mother doesn’t really care for my whining and I don’t want to bother my friends (I haven’t exactly been the most “Tell me your problems” kind of friend I used to be)
I hate worrying, I hate uncertainity (especially regarding my dog’s approvals), and I especially hate waiting. This thread will probably see updates until like a month after I’ve moved but I need a space to vent until I have someone to talk to. Thank you for listening/reading. I think it’s time to eat a sandwich and curl up with some Hulu.