- 9 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
I have a dilema and need Bee advice…
BF and I have been talking about moving in for a while now. It has gotten to the point where BF is basically living in my apartment anyway (spends every single night here and has been spending many days here as well). Techincally this is against my lease, and its a pain in the ass if I’m not home and he needs to get back in the building — and I think the building will start to get suspicious soon enough that they see him in the building all the freaking time. I want to move in, there’s no reason for us to not just do it at this point. It’ll take a month or two to get everything sorted — his stuff here, notice on his lease, revision on mine, etc. etc. so its not like an immediate thing, but he’s hesitant to start the process… and here’s why…
One, we have only been dating about 5 months. We’re pretty damn sure that this is the relationship, that we will get married, that this is for real, but we also realize it may not be socially acceptable to move that quickly. Second, he hasn’t met my parents yet. My parents live on the other side of the country, so this isn’t surprising, but he’s nervous to take that step without their approval of him. Long story short, a previous relationship of mine ended in large part because of my parents pressuring the relationship to end. They had felt the previous bf was largely living off of me and felt he was awkward, and weird, and not for me. It turned out they were right, but because of this history, current BF is nervous to take any steps without meeting them.
My parents are planning on taking a trip up here some time in the spring. Theoretically we could wait till then — but its not as if their approval is the be all end all of our relationship, nor should it be. Of course if we don’t even start the process till the spring, then we won’t be able to do that till, what, June? That seems like such a waste of money and time and violations of my lease.
I would like to move in as it would be good, financially, for both of us and makes sense since he’s iiving here anyway! It gets really annoying to have to remember that he is parked on the street and has to feed the meter by a certain point (so getting him a spot in the garage would be very useful) or that he has to run home to get something he forgot. Mind you, he’s not that far away, but it seems like a waste of THOUSANDS of dollars to maintain his apartment if he’s living here. He wants to live here, and I feel like if its really just his fear of my parents that we should just do it. We’re 26 and 29, parents should not get a say!
Sigh, bees, help!
(I’ll note that BF is currently taking a shower at my — hopefully soon to be our — apartment, after helping me clean it up all day and doing our joint laundry. He’s been home for all of 2 hours in the last 2 weeks)