I’m contemplating this one as well, so I’m glad there’s a post up about it!
At first, I wanted to be engaged before I moved in with a man. I’m religious but very liberal (which is a great combination!), and I wasn’t opposed to living together before marriage on that score. Just all my friends got engaged before they moved in with their fiances, and I was worried that if I moved in with a man before the engagement, I’d be that one couple who’s been together for seven years and not getting married (I have that couple among my friends!). And I want to get married someday. Not tomorrow, not next year, but sooner rather than later, you know?
(Of course you do, you’re waiting bees too!)
I’ve been dating mnbf for a year and a half, and we’ve been talking about moving in together. I know he’s the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. And I know I’m the woman he wants to be with for the rest of his. And I know that he’s the slowest damn mover on the face of this earth and that moving in together or not will not make one bit of friggin’ difference as to the speed of the man’s proposal. (…but I love him!)
So then I thought about moving in together just to “test-drive”. Because the first six months of living together are gonna be a zoo, married/engaged or not. Stuff will crop up that I can’t even imagine right now. And wouldn’t it be nice to deal with that stuff, know that we CAN deal with that stuff, before we build a marriage together?
And then I even stopped thinking about that, and realized I just want to be with him. I want that companionship. I want to wake up with him every morning and come home every day and see him there. I want to share all the ordinary moments of life with him.
That’s when I knew I was really ready.
Now I’m just waiting for my lease to end.
P.S. Moving in for financial reasons seems too risky to me. I mean, yeah, you save a couple hundred bucks a month, but if things go south, you’re stuck sharing a bed and the bills with someone might not be ready to be with all the time.
P.P.S. Talk to grandma. Tell her what you really feel and where you’re really at. My grandmas are really mean and unreasonable, but I bet yours isn’t.