Post # 1
My boyfriend and I are moving in together at the start of the new year and I was just wanting some advice from those who have done it before.
My boyfriend and I will have know each other nearly 5 years by the time we move in, and have been together well over 4.5 years. My concern is he drives me crazy sometimes, and I drive him crazy too haha. Nothing drastic of course, or we wouldn’t’ve lasted this long, but from experience, how important would you say it is to get a two bedroom place when you first move in with someone? I suppose I’m thinking we will need a bit of space, but not quire sure if its worth the extra money.
Anyone have any thoughts or suggestions?
Post # 3
I think it’s nice to have more space, but it’s more important that you are both on the same page. You should talk about your expectations for housework, alone time, etc. before moving in.
Post # 4
Haha I’m such a compulsive worrier that we’ve had many, many conversations already about housework, time alone, what happens when one of us goes out and the other stays home, and everything else you can think of that may cause conflict 🙂 he’s a bit of a gamer and I’m not, so I spose thats one thing I’d like to give him time and space to do without me telling him to shut up while I’m watching tv 🙂
Post # 5
If he’s a gamer get two tv so you can shut yourself in the bedroom and not have to miss out on anything if he’s having a game night.
The only other advice is to talk about things as situations that you may not of thought of come up. The first few monthes its all about learning what things are important to the other person to be happy at home. For example, I hate dishes left in the sink, he couldn’t care less but makes sure he puts them on the bench for my sanity.
Post # 6
Two bedroom place. You’ll need the space for your crap in the end. Or have the second room as a study. I’ve never lived in anything smaller. It gets too cramped otherwise.
Post # 7
I have just moved in with my SO and we opted for 2 bed, same reasons as mentioned above. Spare room for excess crap / study/ space for both of us. We have two TV’s so I can watch girly stuff and he can game etc. Perfect. Now…. I just need to get him to learn how to clean! ha ha
Post # 8
the more space the better!
Post # 9
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
I wouldn’t get a two bedroom just so you can have personal space, it would be a waste of money in my opinion. My biggest tip would be take time for yourself. Take a bubble bath while he veges out in front of the tv or go shopping while he goes golfing. Don’t crowd each other and keep your cool 🙂
Post # 10
We didn’t do a 2 bedroom apartment, mostly because whenever we needed “alone time,” we just took it. The other would go out with friends or something like that. For us, it wasn’t worth the extra cost, especially because often we prefer to just read or hang out together anyway, even if we aren’t talking.
Post # 11
Its a major learning curve as one poster already mentioned. Your expectations may have to change a bit and new habits you didn’t know about may pop up as well. I remember when we spoke about moving in together my Fiance would say how he would clean and do all of these things but that didn’t really materialize. He acted the same way he did when he lived alone.
Since you’ve been together for a while I’d make a note of how he lives right now, is his apartment clean or messy? How does he deal with dishes etc? That will give you some idea of what his habits are.
Just keep in mind that compromises may have to be made but if you’re both up for it, its a lot of fun!
Post # 12
Thanks everyone for your responses! I will keep them all in mind as we make our decision soon. No doubt you’ll all hear me complain at some point, but I am determined to make it work 🙂
Post # 13
Good luck with the move in. 🙂 I don’t think a two bedroom is necessary unless you can afford it and really want the extra space for a study or something. Otherwise you should feel comfortable enough with each other to say “Hey I need some me time!” You can still be in the same room and doing separate things. I actually find that very nice because there is still a sense of closeness without being completely in that person’s business and having to actively engage with him.
It seems like you both have talked it over and have your expectations laid out. Plus you’ve been together long enough to know of general habits. I think you two will be fine! It’s definitely different and can be a challenge to adjust, but overall it’s a lot of fun. As long as you’re willing to communicate that you need downtime, it should be good.
Post # 14
@ZetaTucanae: I don’t necessarily think an extra bedroom is necessary, but it is nice to have somewhere you can go do your own thing, even if it’s just your own table for your projects. My BF and I are living with my parents, so we share a room, and it sucks that sometimes we can’t go out into the living room to get a little space (my dad sleeps on the couch for several reasons). But we’ve tried to be lenient when the other wants to go out with friends, and let each other have our own hobbies (he plays guitar while I read or something).
Post # 15
If you can swing the cost, I’d say try for the second bedroom because it is hard in a studio or 1 bed to really be alone if that’s what you want.
YMMV: We are/were gamers and a bit introverted, so we found out quickly that we both needed our own spaces to ourselves. Unfortunately, when I moved in with him, his place only had two rooms, bedroom + living/kit, so neither one of us had privacy or blocks of time where we were uninterrupted. Now, we like having a second bedroom/office where he does his work or games while I have my computer in the master bedroom allowing me to get to bed at a reasonable hour. No one is stuck in the “public” part of the house and we have our own little private spaces should we need them.