(Closed) Moving in together before the wedding…

posted 7 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think there is actually a post in the Newlywed section where a Bee doesn’t feel like a newlywed b/c nothing really changed given they had been living together for awhile and such.

Just a thought to check out

Post # 4
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@Ms. Polar Bear:I’m not married yet, but Fi and I have lived together for a year now.  I think that it’s made us closer, and in a way, I can’t imagine NOT living with him before getting married.  To me, that’s almost like buying the cow without trying the milk (sorry for the farm analogy).

Regarding the decorating, it’s a lonnnnng process.  I wouldn’t wait until after you come back from the Honeymoon.  You never know when you’re going to find a piece that works perfectly or a pair of amazing curtains goes on clearance. Take your time and work on it slowly. Just my $0.02!

Post # 5
Member
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I feel like you sometimes.  But if you are meant to be, living together will only reinforce the strength of your coupling. It will be hard, and no, it wouldn’t be as exciting as waiting until after the marriage  but it will still be special in its own way.

Don’t fret. Everything works out the way it should.

Post # 6
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I moved in with my husband when we were still dating. I’m so glad I did it before the wedding, mainly because it was really hard on our relationship! We weren’t communicating well, we were both walking on egg shells trying to please the other person, and it just took us a little while to figure out how to live together. I would have been soooo freaked out if we had just gotten married and then gone through that!

It is plenty special to live with someone and get married. There are still plenty of exciting things that happen, I was excited about everything! Our first holidays as a married couple, our first big purchase as a married couple, etc. I would make an excuse to get excited about any little thing, b/c it was our first time as a married couple.

Post # 7
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Gurl, move in with your guy whenever you want to! Don’t listen to the “you’ll seeeeeeeee” people. Read this article here.

Moving in with your guy before the wedding will be special. Decorating before the wedding will be special. Coming home from the wedding/honeymoon to your lived-in, comfortable, decorated home that you two made together will be special. It will all be special no matter what you do because it’s your life with the man you love and just because you’re not following the “norms” doesn’t mean it’s not. Do what makes you happiest and THAT in itself will be special.

Post # 8
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I moved in with my Fiance. There will still be something special about being married because that is when we will get to buy a house (right now we live in an apartment) and make it OUR place instead of a place we are living. There is a lot of special things to be had still after you move in together. While this apartment is our place in the sense of we are both on the lease and it is our home in the sense that our home is where the other person is and whatnot its not the big kind of OUR place. We did not build it up and create it together. You can still create a home with someone after living with them by getting a place and making it YOURS rather than just getting a place. I hope that makes sense

Post # 10
Member
348 posts
Helper bee

I think it’s true that not living together until after marriage probably makes you feel more “like newlyweds” afterwards… but I don’t think that’s a good thing to base your decisions off of. These decisions should be about what works best for your relationship over the course of the your whole lives, not about maximizing the specialness of one very small part of that (the immediate post-wedding period).  

Post # 11
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Ms. Polar Bear: I hate that “everything is downhill after the first year” mentality so much too. My man and I have only grown stronger since we moved in together and I am sure it will be the same for you. Don’t let people who rushed in to be “honest people” tear you down. We have the advantage of not having the social stigma of the past and can therefore grow together in ways people never got to. I wish you both the best and a happy wedding day regardless of what you choose to do.

Post # 12
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Ms. Polar Bear: I hate that “everything is downhill after the first year” mentality so much too. My man and I have only grown stronger since we moved in together and I am sure it will be the same for you. Don’t let people who rushed in to be “honest people” tear you down. We have the advantage of not having the social stigma of the past and can therefore grow together in ways people never got to. I wish you both the best and a happy wedding day regardless of what you choose to do.

Post # 14
Member
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We’ve been living together since before we got engaged and I’m still super excited to get married. While our life together won’t really seem any different to anyone else, we’ll have the new comfort of knowing we’re committed to each other for life, and will be starting a new family. Something as simple as sharing the same last name is incredibly exciting to me.

Personally, I’m a big proponent of living together before marriage. Moving in together is a huge adjustment and it’s good to have some time to work the kinks out before you make it legal. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Ms. Polar Bear: I kinda wanna slap people who aren’t married for saying those things too. I know a girl who when she heard I was getting married said and I quote “Well there goes your sex life.” WTF. If you marry the right person it wont be like that. I have every confidence that you two wont be like that at all. Just from the little bit you say he seems kinda like your “safe place” since there is no drama (or minimal) with you two. You two will only grow stronger as time goes on.

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