Moving in together – what is he thinking/what should I do?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee

By talking to him. Although it sounds like he doesn’t want to live together, based on his reaction. You have to keep talking if you want to find out what has changed for him.

Post # 4
Member
939 posts
Busy bee

rachel351 :  just tell him what you told us here. U love him right? And would like to consider his stand when you make that decision to move back? And need to decide where to live if you move back? Then tell him, and let him ur options if u move back. Either find a place urself or take up his offer to move in. If he suggests you start looking for places to rent.. then take it as he’s not ready aka wait a while n c what happens.

Post # 5
Member
3236 posts
Sugar bee

If you’re going to spend your life with him, whether as a long term partner or in a marriage, you’re going to have to talk to the guy. Stop being so afraid to “push him” or say the wrong thing. This is your life. If he wants you in his, he can man up and say it, whether or not you’re pushing for the conversation. 

Honestly, talk to him. And if you can’t talk to him and be honest, and he can’t talk to you and be honest, then what the hell are the two of you doing anyway?

Post # 6
Member
7432 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It’s okay that he goes along with plans just because you want him to. It’s okay if you’re more enthused or doing more of the forward pushing. It’s rare that people are 100% emotionally in sync all the time. Most of the time, one person is a little ahead of the other, or a little behind, or a little more excited, or a little more reluctant. Don’t set unrealistic standards. If he says he’ll move in with you and make a genuine attempt to move your relationship forward, trust him to do that.  Don’t criticize or worry because he takes a different path to get there than you’d preferred.

Post # 7
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee

rachel351 :  I understand. You want him to want what you want, when you want it. But life seldom works that way. Part of being an adult is asking your partner what you want and telling him your needs.

I get you. If he only puts things into motion because you initiated the conversation, you may wonder “is this only happening because I pushed for it?”

But that’s life.

Ask for what you want. If he doesn’t want it, most men will decline.

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