(Closed) Moving In Together! :)

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I wish I knew that my fiance was bad at paying bills on time! He’s a computer guy and rarely checks the mail!! its not a matter of not having money but he just forgets!! Its frustrating!  But I have since taken over bills, using both of our money (we have a joint account for bills to make it easy)

Post # 4
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We have lived together for two years now and I think one of the most important things is to remember that you have to compromise about stuff. Fighting over towels on the floor and lights being left on is small petty stuff that doesnt matter in the long run. Remember why you love each other and don’t ever forget to spend quality time together, not just sitting on the couch watching tv. Living together doesnt mean the dates stop. Fiance and I went through a rough patch about five months after we moved in together because we forget to put effort into our relationship. So now we will leave each other little love notes or suprise each other with date nights. Its the little stuff that makes the difference.

Post # 5
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Talk about chores, your “cleanliness” expectations, and how to work out personal space. There will probably be times when you just need a little alone time and that can be a little tricky in an apartment (but not impossible). In general, just keep open communication and if anything does come up, discuss it calmly (i.e., don’t jump to the conclusion that they did something just to make you mad).

Post # 6
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Birdee106:  I would definitely echo what you said about making sure you still spend time on your relationship. When Darling Husband and I were dating and I would go to his house, we would sit or cuddle on the couch and just talk to eachother…once we lived together the TV was on a lot, or I would be using my laptop a lot, and it’s just not the same. It’s easy to be physically together but not actually bonding or communicating when you live together.

We really didn’t have much of an issue with the household responsibility stuff, we just sort of naturally split it up pretty fairly without discusson. However, it’s a bit different for us because it’s something that gets altered all the time – when I first moved in, I was worked 20 hours a week and he was working 60! So obviously I did most of the housework, it was only fair. But now I work full time plus during the school year am in class, so it’s shifted a lot. But basically whenever one of us is home alone we get at least a few things done to clean up around the house.

The other issue we had was space – there wasn’t enough of it! Be careful of this when he moves in – Darling Husband really didn’t make an effort to make any room or space for me when I moved in. Even though I only had one room worth of stuff, there was no room for all of it. As a result things were very cluttered, which he would get crabby about. So I would suggest making sure you clear some space so it feels like his home too, not your home that he also lives in. Luckily, we just moved so that problem has been solved!

Post # 7
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Talk about what chores you expect each other to do around the apartment, also cooking since you both work and he will be in school…what are eachother’s expectations about cooking and cleaning…..

Post # 8
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Fiance and I have lived together for a year and honestly – it was exactly what I expected. Everyone and their dog was warning me about how it would be such a big change and we’d find out so much more about each other. And we didn’t. It’s just fun!

That being said, we worked out before we moved in together how we’d handle rent/bills/groceries (I buy all groceries and pay rent, he pays utilities and then we figure out the difference every month), and chores (He cleans the bathroom, I clean the floors, he cleans the kitchen and I cook).

Probably the biggest thing that was an adjust was little habits we both have that we’ve had to…discuss. He likes the toliet paper on the holder a certain way, I could care less. I always leave dirty glasses on the edge of the sink so they don’t break, he puts them in the sink. I leave my closet door open…that drives him crazy.

Post # 9
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Birdee106:  That’s a good point! Fiance and I definitely had to make date nights a priority, even if it’s just grabbing dinner somewhere.

Post # 11
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@OneOfTheseDaysAlice:  Yep, we eat completely differently. He eats seafood, I hate it. He loves yogurt, I think it’s nasty. I eat crapfood, he eats fairly healthy. But we shop together, but stuff together. Just because he eats a specific kind of mac and cheese doesnt mean you can’t shop together. He buys his kind, you buy yours. Or you eat his kind. ‘

I hate the same problem of him being up tight and i’m not. He wants all food labels to face forward, he’s super OCD. I really don’t care as long as I have food stocked. So i’ve learned to put the food away in a certain way and he has lightened up. I don’t always make the yogurt labels face forward but I always make sure to put them in the right spot. compromise is a wonderful thing.

Post # 12
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Pick your battles. 

Also, decide ahead of time who will be responsible for what household chores and when they need to be completed.

Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My husband and I lived together for two years before we got married and for some strange and wonderful reason, our living together clicked immediately.  Considering that a single guy with no kids moved in with me and my two kids, Everything went smoothly.  We decided to go half on everything with the expection that he pays for most of our entertainment and any suprise expenses since he makes more money.  

It has worked perfectly. I was a single independent mom and I cant seem to let go of that and I forget that I can ask him for money when I need it instead of stressing like I did when I was alone.  Unless you are really anal about certain things, it should go ok.  

Post # 14
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MrsLoebbs:  and what she said!!! 🙂 

 

Post # 15
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@caitlyn1109:  Same here, my husband never pays them on time, he has the money but forgets so I took over and now he has no worries. He makes the money and I spend it. lol 

Post # 16
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

You ladies are all so adorable and I love reading about your lives. So many blessings to you all. 🙂 

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