(Closed) Moving in with Best Friend & Her Fiance

posted 6 years ago in Home
  • poll: Move in with friends?
    I've done it - it was great! : (5 votes)
    4 %
    I've done it - it was terrible. : (12 votes)
    10 %
    Never done it - sounds good! : (12 votes)
    10 %
    Never done it - sounds awful. : (90 votes)
    76 %
    Other - see below : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1279 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I have never done it, and I wouldn’t do it…but that’s my opinion

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    768 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    i wouldn’t want to live with friends after being married. my friend and her Darling Husband have a friend renting from them and it always sounds horrible to me. she doesn’t mind too much, but i know that there is going to be a point where they just want their own space!

    Post # 5
    Member
    494 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I don’t know, it really depends.  My husband and I are currently living with his best friend but the only reason we’re doing it is because he travels every week for work and also has a serious girlfriend, so we see him like twice a month.  I can’t imagine having him there all the time, it would annoy the crap out of me even though he’s really nice and unobtrusive.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2775 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    Never done it and wouldn’t want to.  I value my privacy and personal space too highly to ever go for that.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1327 posts
    Bumble bee

    I like my peace and quiet so no I would never do it. My Inlaws though live all under one roof, so brother and sister live together with both their kids and for awhile my mil lived there too, they didn’t seem to mind.

    Post # 8
    Member
    748 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My fiance and I are about to let one of his friends move in for a month or two while he gets settled in and looks for a place in Indianapolis. My fiance’s friend is from Idaho and has found work here but needs a place to stay until he can find one of his own. I’m not too worried about it at all, really but we’ll see how I’m feeling after a month or so. 😛

    Post # 9
    Member
    3374 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I’m going to say no.

    I’ve done it and still live with other people and it’s not that great ESP as a newlywed.

    1) Fights over space in fridge/pantry/kitchen/linen closets

    2) No crazy sex all over the place like newlyweds

    3) not being able to watch movies whenever you want (they could be watching a movie)

    4) two people trying to cook dinner (two separate meals) at the same time is no bueno.

    5) being grossed out by other people’s dirty dishes/over flowing garbage

    6) splitting up chores like vacuuming etc.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2320 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    My first roommate situation was with my friend and her then boyfriend. They were never home so it wasn’t too bad, but I’m not sure I could do it as a married couple.

    Post # 11
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I wouldnt do it. But only because everyone LITERALLY begins to annoy me after a few days, except for Fiance of course. So I’m sure I would want alot of mushy, private time with my baby and would hate to know my BFF is right next door.

    Also, IDK about where you are but most townhouses I know of have one large MBR, and two really small spare bedrooms. How would that work with 2 couples?

    Post # 12
    Member
    1370 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Hmm. I’m doing it right now, but I’m on the other side of it. My SO and I live in a three-bedroom (well, we use one of “our” rooms as a bedroom, and one as an office) with one of our very good (male) frinds. They are definitely BFFs – though boys wil rarely put it that way, lol – and my SO is thrilled to be living with his two favourite people! Friend is pretty content as well, and as far as I can tell, doesn’t feel like a third wheel. Friend is rarely home; he has pretty long work hours and is always out and about socially after that. He’s one of those popular people who’s always got something to do, and he’s happy that way 🙂 We’re conscientious about how phyisically affectionate we act in common areas (kitchen, living room) and if we’re having sex, chances are, friend is out of the house – though it wouldn’t stop us if he weren’t, we would just turn our noisy fan on and be a little more conscious of volume 😉 But, because he’s out of the house so much, I can pretty much have long baths and cook and bake and watch movies and whatever to my heart’s content. I go to bed early, both the boys go to bed super late, so our demand of commen spaces doesn’t really overlap and we’re rarely in each other’s way.

    I know this doesn’t exactly reflect your situation, but I wanted to give at least one positive account! 

    Post # 13
    Member
    423 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @MrsSnowMountain:  I’m in a very similar situation and we can’t do anything but rave about it. Our roommate/BFF (who’s a guy and a groomsmen in our wedding party) let us move into his house for super cheap, and it hasn’t been anything but great! I thought it would be horrible because we were leaving our downtown condo (that we own) to live with a roommate, but so far it has saved us a ton of money and we’ve had quite a lot of fun. We all get along and the place is big enough so that we all have our space if we need it. Fiance and I have a large room with a tv in it, so incase our BFF is entertaining a lady friend, we can give him his space. He also has a tv in his room to give us space when we want it. 

    I think it could really be a different story if we were all drastically different people though. All three of us are bestfriends and hung out quite regularly before moving in together. We know eachother’s quirks and downfalls, and all of us were willing to deal with it. We made ground rules and openly discussed things that could potentially bug us. It was nice to be honest and work through that stuff before moving in so we knew exactly what we’d be dealing with. So far, it’s been a very good experience and I don’t see our living situation changing for a few years EVEN after we’re married.

    I think as long as the space is big enough and you set boundaries for things like common areas, it could definitely be good thing. Although our group dynamic is different than having 2 couples under one roof, so I can only speak from our experience. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    5271 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    I wouldn’t do it – but my coworker and her newly married husband have a roomate (their friend who actually used to live with the husband back in college.) While I don’t get it at all, it totally works for them.

    Post # 15
    Member
    650 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Noooooo waaaaaaaaay

    Personally, I would hate this. The money you save might not be worth the irritation that it causes. Plus, if you have a falling out, you could loose your BFF.

    Post # 16
    Member
    395 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    My husband and I lived with roommates (2 other bedrooms, different two people at various times) for two years directly after getting married, and it was totally fine. And we lived in the same apartment for about 8 months before our wedding. No problems. BUT, since getting our own place, I could never return to a roommate situation. The privacy and relaxation you have in your own house is too nice. Do you and Fiance currenty live alone together? If you’ve never lived alone together I think roommates would be much easier.

    Also Darling Husband and I always lived with strangers (some of whom we became friends with, but we didn’t know them initially). Living with friends could either be really great or totally ruin your friendships. If you do move in together, it’s crucial to set down very specific rules for everything, in writing, before you do it. Everything. From who takes out the trash to how late you can watch loud movies. It’s too easy to let little resentments build up in an us-against-them kind of way that you just don’t encounter when living with regular roommates (rather than your spouse and others).

    One great advantage Darling Husband and I found about having roommates was that it gave us a little space. I could go chat to my roommate friend in the evening and Darling Husband would get time alone in our bedroom, or the other way around. It was super nice, and unexpected. Also all the little irritations you might have with your Darling Husband don’t come up as much (like wrt cleaning) bc you can always blame another person lol!

    So I don’t think it is necessarily a bad idea, it could be the time of your lives! Certainly could save you a ton of money. Just be sure to have very clear conversations and write stuff down with friends beforehand.

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