(Closed) Moving in with inlaws to save money for a house

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My Future Sister-In-Law and her husband moved in with my Future Mother-In-Law for a few months while their house was being built.  It was a little chaotic for them because they brought their dog and two cats and Future Mother-In-Law already has two dogs.  It was a constant matter of juggling the animals, but other than that everything went really smoothly.  It sounds like you guys will have plenty of space to yourselves.  I think it sounds like a good plan, especially since you get along with them!

Post # 4
Member
1438 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

We were trying to do the same thing, we moved in with my parents after our lease was up. Honestly….we moved out of their house after 2 months. and back into a apartment again. Once you get used to living on your own, its hard to go live with family again. 

Post # 5
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I say dont do it,if you want to save money then move into a studio, That would be like living at his parents anyways but atleast you have your privacy and you can keep that great relationship with his family, For that reason alone, dont do it. 

We let my sister and his hubby move in and it was hell. Our relationship suffered so much but once they moved out, we got close again. It is not worth it at all, Sorry I am just speaking from experience. 

Post # 7
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I could not do it. We love our families, but they lack boundaries. It would be more stress than it was worth. When it looked like we might not be able to close on our house before our lease ended on our old place, Mr. LK’s family offered to let us live in the basement apartment for a few weeks until we could close. It was a nice offer, but we declined. We would rather pay out the ying yang for a short-term lease than live with family. We value our privacy and independence too much to trade them for a free place to live, even if it was only for a few weeks. 

Also, I think you may be underestimating how long it can take to find and close on a home. It took us 18 months and we had 3 failed contracts before we finally closed on contract #4. Could you really live with family for that long while you save up money, and even longer for the house hunting process?

Post # 8
Member
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I say don’t do it. On my first marriage I had moved in with in laws and they changed from being nice to being bothered. I didnt last living there. They would call my ex at work if I wasnt doing what they thought I should be doing. Plus nothing like privacy.

Post # 9
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Down payments here are like $100,000+ for 20% down on a 2-bedroom house. We’d have to live with our inlaws for like 5 years to make up the savings for something that expensive, so nope! hahaha

I grew up in Dallas/Ft Worth, so if we lived in a super cheap housing market like that, it would definitely be something we’d consider – renting is so much more expensive there compared to buying (here in the Bay Area it’s roughly equal).

Post # 10
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

No amount of savings would get me to move in with my IL’s. Been there, done that, not going back. Only if the alternative was being homeless would I consider living under the same roof as them for an extended period of time. They’re great people and we get along fine but I would absolutely hate to live with them. My Mother-In-Law is overbearing as it is and that’s via text message and the occasional visit. 24/7/365 and I’d fucking kill myself.

Post # 11
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@SaraP2012:  I think having them pay for your food is the first way youll get into trouble. We lived with my parents and month here and there while going between seasons and it is very important to share in costs of food. You should pay for all your own breakfast lunch and snack items and then share for dinners. We made dinner 4-5 times a week and they payed for the ingredients for 4-5 dinners a week and it was a good trade off. Also I would set up a food space in your spot like a mini fridge and microwave with some prep area it should help not taking over there kitchen which creates tension. Darling Husband and I both get crabby when were hungry so kitchen while cooking isnt always the best place to hang out with inlaws when tensions may already be high.

Post # 12
Member
6743 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Fiance and I have been living with my parents for 2 years now.  There are definite pros and cons.  We’ve worked it out in a way where we get the entire 2nd floor to yourselves and my parents are on the first floor.  The pros are that we save money and I get to see my parents a lot.  The cons are the lack of freedom.. and the fact that I see my parents a lot :).  I don’t know how his ILs are, but I know how my parents are and they can be very.. I don’t even know the word.  We can’t cook in the kitchen because they keep kosher and we would have to go to a kosher market, so we bought a grill and we sometimes grill out back.  We can’t cook on Fridays or Saturdays though, not even on the grill.  We are constantly asked where we’re going and what we’re doing.  Everything is always under scrutiny (down to my dad insisting that my Fiance is going to get cancer when he’s 40 and I’m going to have to take care of him because he “drinks too much diet coke” – I’m NOT making this up).  Sometimes the relationship gets strained and sometimes I fight w/ Fiance over things because of my parents.  I know our relationship will be a million and one percent better once we have a place of our own.  I do it because I have to.  It’s not terrible, but it’s not ideal, either.  It really depends how your ILs are and how the situation is set up.  It would be super awkward if we both lived on the same floor.  Also, because we have the entire upstairs which is 3 full, large bedrooms (each with a huge walk in closet), we have a LOT of space and so we’re not on top of each other.  Previously, we had a much smaller space and we were in 1 room together, no living room area, no place to spread out or get away from each other if we needed to and it REALLY took a toll on our relationship.  So, it really depends on the set up and the ILs.

Post # 13
Member
684 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

We moved in for a year, it was not worth it. I would never do it again even if we were homeless. All the ugly sides came out over that time and we didn’t end up saving money at all. We spend most of the time leaving out of town to get away from that Hell!

You’d be surpsied what kind of garbage comes out when you are sharing space with someone!

Post # 14
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We currently live with my Dad.  It’s really not bad… & I was on my own for 11 years.  We’re helping him out with his mortgage, which is less than half what we were paying to rent.  As long as everyone can act like adults (which should be easy) & can treat stuff with respect, it’s not bad.

But… our house is very big.  So sometimes we do not even see each other & that can help 🙂

Post # 15
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@deetroitwhat:  I think that living with just a dad is different than when there is another woman in the picture like a mother n law or sister n law. Its the woman who have more trouble than anyone else. 

Post # 16
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

you’d have to pay me a gazillion dollars to do it. No way, not with my loving ILs and not with my parents either.

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