(Closed) Moving on isn't cheating?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

When my ex and I split, he spread rumours about me and tried to turn his family and friends against me, he also attempted to tell me what I could and couldn’t do with my life, and my response was to tell him to gtfo and to stop contacting me. Why are you letting him control and manipulate you? 

Post # 3
Member
6805 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

Why would you even think about getting back together with this guy? Change your phone number and cut off all contact. Done. 

Post # 4
Member
3611 posts
Sugar bee

Make a clean break. Block him on all social media. Change your number and your email address and even your physical address if need be so he can’t get in touch with you. I don’t need to tell you that he is a total asshole, but for some reason even though you realize he’s a jerk, you keep getting sucked back in. You obviously shouldn’t be in a relationship with this person, and even a friendship sounds unhealthy if you can’t help yourself and keep going back to him after everything he’s done to you.

Post # 5
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee

An ex boyfriend did this to me, too. We broke up and I began dating someone. Ex stalked me over phone and whatever else, spread rumors about me, etc. The best thing I ever did was NEVER respond and block on all communication (Email, phone number, social media). Sounds like you need to make friends with the block button!

Post # 6
Member
4260 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Change you number and get a retraining order.  He sounds nuts.  And I am not sure how he “made you” text that first guy, but he has no business forcing you into doing anything.

Post # 7
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee

Fuck his family, you guys aren’t together, who cares if they like you or not. If you want to move on, change your number and stop all communication with him. it sounds like you absolutely need to break free from this d bag. 

good luck bee xx 

Post # 8
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee

anonprincess92:  You need to cut ties with this person. Permanently. Break up. This whole thing is a shitshow of drama, but the fact that he threatened you is a Big Deal. 40% of law enforcement families experience domestic violence, and this man has shown you that being in control is more important to him than your comfort or saftey.

You know this is a bad idea. Why are you giving the time of day to someone who went on a smear campaign against you and treats you like shit?

I think you need to look into relationship abuse resources so you can safely extricate yourself from this dysfunctional situation.

Post # 9
Member
3416 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’m very curious as to how he “made” you text the guy. But whatever he’s doing to manipulate you, get out of that situation. Change your number, get away, don’t talk to him anymore.

I’m sorry this happened, Bee.

Post # 10
Member
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

Girl, you gotta cut him loose! You deserve so much more than a messy relationship with a man who spreads rumors about you, manipulates you, and tells you he’s better than you. A good man tells you you’re the best thing to ever happen to him, that you’re too good for him, and tells his family how amazing you are. Waity for that… cut this guys off. Continuing any type of relationship with this man will not do anything positive for you. And FYI, with him still kicking around, blowing up your phone all the time, chances of you finding a healthy relationship with someone else isnt good either. I’d run for the hills if I went on a date with someone who’s ex was still in constant contact. Thats not a breakup… you gotta end it, for good. You owe it to yourself to find someone who treats you well!!

Post # 11
Member
1633 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

You certainly don’t get rid of him by agreeing to his requests to meet up! You need to go no-contact here, or only have as much contact as necessary to finish dividing up shared bills or whatever. There is no value in maintaining any type of relationship or friendship with this man. He is acting like a nutjob and doesn’t want you to move on. If his family hates you, fine. You don’t ever need to interact with them again, anyway. Stop letting him have any further influence on your life.

If this is a point of pride for you, just remember that the best revenge is a life well lived.

Post # 12
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

You are so lucky to NOT be marrying into that family!

Post # 13
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

It’s really easy to block numbers on your phone. Block his stepmom (at the very least) and if I were you, I would also block him. Why would you want to stay friends with someone who turned out to be a huge liar and threatens you? Friends don’t do that.

Post # 14
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

ok, I’m pretty sure I now who you are (law enforcement, step mom money grubber etc)

If you ARE the poster I’m thinking of, I’m glad that the engagement is still off and you’re trying to move on

you know how you move on? CLEAN BREAK! change your number, block your ex, and stop giving a flying fuck about what he tells his famiy. WHO CARES. He could tell them you’re the whore of babylon, that you regularly go to the zoo and throw stuff at monkeys, that you occasionally pick off pedestrians while driving your car.

seriously it doesnt matter.

Obviously your friends and familly know the wedding is off, so they’ll take anything he tells them about you with a grain o salt and honestly if they’re stupid enough to believe him and shun you, then fuck them too.

clean break honey. you’ve given yourself an opportunity to start a new life, take it.

Post # 15
Member
1985 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

When I split with my ex he would do everything to keep me at arms length and as soon as instarted to drift away he’d try and reel me back in. I’d been with my now-husband for 8 months and broken up with him for over a year and he messaged me saying he still loves me. At this point I basically had to say that if he really loved me, he needed to leave alone and if he didn’t love me he needed to stop being a dick. He left me alone after this.

You need to do something similar. Drop contact. Separate your life from him. Let his family think what they want (although they have no reason to hate you but you don’t need to fight that battle), make sure your family know the truth. You can’t be friends with him. If he questions why, say friends don’t spread rumours about their friends. If he continues to bother you, regardless of whether he’s in law enforcement, you need to seek legal help and get him to stay away from you. At this point you’re only drawing it out.

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