(Closed) Moving out for the 4 months before the wedding… :(

posted 6 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
358 posts
Helper bee

I think you should really do whatever you and your fiancé are comfortable with, not changing all of your beliefs because of peer pressure to what other people want you to do.  

Post # 4
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@EmeraldTiger:  Oh man. I know it must be so hard for you. I’ve been living with my SO for a couple months and I housesat for my godmother the past week. It. Was. Torture. I always thought people who said they can’t sleep without their SO in bed were a little crazy and possibly codependant. Nope. I have woken up multiple times every night. πŸ™

That said… I think it’s kind of awesome that you moved out before the wedding. You will miss sleeping with him but you’ll LOOOOVE having that again after the wedding. You’ll cherish your time together until then and with all the wedding stress that’s bound to happen, you’ll have seperate space! I think it’s great. Hang in there. It’s only 4 months and then you’ll have the rest of your life!

Post # 5
338 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I believe you should hold on! Its tough when you love someone and want to give the your all but as Christians we need to remember that we have to be self controlled. as @lia said What is 4 months compared to the rest of your lives? I believe you can do it πŸ˜‰

Post # 6
3306 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Best wishes. You can do it! The best part about being a Christian is that every day is a do-over. No need to focus on, as you put it, your previous “failing miserably.” Just resolve to do the right thing from here on out. You will be blessed for it, without a doubt. 

Post # 8
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

This is awesome. My church has refused to marry me for the same reasons…well and because I refuse to pay for a seperate apartment since my parents and other family don’t have room to host a grown woman.

I wish they did because being shunned in this way by my own pastor is super hard to take. I am having my grandparents (much more lax) pastor do the ceremony and trying to do the best I can with getting past it. It’s not easy, I have been going to this man’s church since I was six years old and every wedding dream I ever had he was in it performing the ceremony πŸ™ Sucks.

I wish you the best and hope you will read my story and understand why you need to stay strong, it’s worth it and will be wonderful in the end. πŸ™‚

Post # 9
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sorry, but i agree with your Dad and sister.  The damage is done.  Moving away from each other isn’t going to erase what already happened.  Is this stress you really need 4 months before your wedding?  You are happy when you live with him, so I would do that.

Post # 11
2778 posts
Sugar bee

@EmeraldTiger:  I don’t think personally I would ever even consider doing that but you need to do what’s best for you, no matter what other people think about it

Post # 12
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I personally don’t get the point, but then again I’ve grown up in fairly liberal churches and us living together was not an issue at all for our minister. If this is important to you, you just need to stand your ground and remind yourself why you are doing this. Just because you dad and siter (and I) don’t really think this makes much sense doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have meaning for you. 

Post # 13
167 posts
Blushing bee

@EmeraldTiger: If you and your fiance have agreed to have this time of separation, then stick to it. You’ll both be happier when you get to the wedding, and it sets a good tone of being able to do hard things together. Good basis for a strong marriage when the storms come. 

Think about what story you’d like to be able to tell your children some day, too.

Post # 14
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@EmeraldTiger:  I was thinking about posting a thread very similar to this… maybe I will because my rant will be sooooo long…Just know I feel your pain πŸ™

Post # 16
638 posts
Busy bee

@EmeraldTiger:  removing condoms? That seems like a precarious position if you ever do slip up. I understand you feel guilt towards your religious community, but were you carrying guilt with your sexuality? I’m trying to understand- do you think sex after marriage will feel better or more pure?

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