(Closed) moving out – how to tell him?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
6146 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

What the hell did I just read?

Post # 33
Member
97 posts
Worker bee

maxfluffy:  leave and never come back. get counselling and help if needed (recommended because he seems to have such an impact on you)

This is CRAZY. the situation is INSANEEEEE leave and close all ties. It’s so toxic and you deserve so much better and I do hope you find someone that treats you like you deserve!!!!

Post # 34
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee

Girl, this is mess. You need to go ahead and break up with him, moving out but trying to stay together would just delay the inevitable. Make a clean break. You’re entitled to put yourself first, don’t let him make you feel bad about that.

Post # 35
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

maxfluffy:  you are doing the right thing. Be strong. 

Post # 36
Member
337 posts
Helper bee

No… he is not doing everything for you as he claims.  If he was, he would have moved in with you rather than choosing to stay with his family.  And buying a house is all well and good but it still had to be within 5 minutes of his family.  And 4,000 sqft????  WHY does it have to be that large of a house for just the two of you?  Something tells me it wouldn’t have been just you two… 

You are doing the right thing.  Don’t look back.  Get out of this unhealthy relationship and stop letting him make you feel bad.  As soon as you can realize that all of the pain, hurt, and negativity in your life is coming from HIM – the easier it would be to let him go.

Post # 37
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

You deserve way more than that. I know it’s hard right now because you care so much about him, but I think you will be a lot happier away from him and once you get some space you’ll probably be even happier on your own than you were with him. If you’re lonely spend time with your friends. Healthy platonic relationships are amazing and  there is someone way better out there for you to spend the rest of your life with.

Post # 38
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

if he can’t be with you alone as a married couple should be, and if he insists on staying with his family members in the same house, he isn’t ready for marriage.

Post # 39
Member
326 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry I just can’t get over 3 years without sex! You can easy go someplace alone for the weekend, have sex in a car…anywhere. And you said he’s like your father?! What?!!!!! No, what ew no. Just leave him, please. This situation is dysfunctional and gross 

Post # 40
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Moving out is the right thing… he’s totally manipulating you by saying you are cruel.  He is the one trying to mak eyou stay in a living situation where his nephew punched him!  He is not doing everything for you, at all!

Be strong, and move out.  It will be hard for a while, but the more you experience other things, the more you will realize just how messed up your situation is.  You need the breathing room to focus on yourself and what a healthy relationship actually looks like

Post # 41
Member
3264 posts
Sugar bee

maxfluffy:  this jackass is preying on your lack of self esteem in an effort to manipulate you. What do you see in him? He does nothing for you; he’s willing to compromise nothing for you. Break up with him already and go no contact. He and his family are toxic.

Post # 42
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Oh girl. Find a new roommate. That’s all he is. A good friend or roomie will watch TV with you. Not sure what more you have with him? Moving out will be hard at first but I bet you find it freeing once you’re out of that mess. Good luck mama. 

Post # 43
Member
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Girl, if you want someone to watch TV with, go on a dating site. There are plenty of men would be more than happy to do that, plus sex. 3 years without sex? That is crazy. 

Post # 44
Member
680 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

 Beeeeee! You deserve SO MUCH better than this! I’m sure you do love this man, but this isn’t what a healthy relationship looks like. You need to take that drive and all that ambition of yours, pack it up and go live up to your full potential. Move. Find a lovely little place to get over this guy and his weird family, and then get back out there when you’re ready. Find someone who can’t keep his hands to himself and meet his family that doesn’t assault you. That isn’t asking too much

Post # 45
Member
1910 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

 Girl, wtf?!! You absolutely should NOT feel bad. Obviously the two of you have different priorities and they aren’t aligned. He is crazy to even expect you to stay in that house, especially after the incident with his nephew. You are not a priority to him, and what he said to you was manipulation.  Join Meetup to find some local people to meet and gain a healthy support system. You need to move on, not just physically, but emotionally as well. You’ve dealt with his bs for far too long.

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