Post # 1
Hi Bees! In a post yesterday, I mused a bit about talking to my SO about a fellowship I was considering applying for which would require me to move. I made the decision to talk to him about it and in the end, I think it really worked out. I feel a strong desire to move, as I’ve remained local my entire life and I really regret not leaving the state (although I love Colorado and wouldn’t mind ending up here). We’ve both agreed that I will apply for jobs in some agreed upon locations (mostly Oregon and Washington) and he is willing to move with me.
I would love to hear from some Bees who have moved with or without their partner. I am very close to my parents and see my mom often for lunch/shopping/hanging out. I also have a wonderful group of friends that I’m very close to. I will miss my family, but I know that they will come visit and I will have the ability to come home for holidays. I guess my biggest fear is leaving my friends. I feel like I’ve found something really special in my group. Have you ever experienced leaving your group of friends? Do you regret it?
There is something in me that’s saying JUST DO IT… I’ve lived safely for so much of my life and now is the time to take a risk. I guess I just need some encouragment and stories of success 🙂
Post # 3
I’ve moved 5 times in 4 years. A year and a half ago I moved for grad school while he stayed back where I was living. We did the long distance thing the whole time. I was really lucky because he would drive most weekends and see me. The coolest thing about moving is, while it is scary, you really grow as a person and learn a lot about yourself (and your strengths) and you get the opportunity to meet new people. You made the right choice. You never turn down an opportunity like a fellowship because of fear. You’ll regret it one day. You will be so much better off in the long term. Your true friends will always be there, even though you can’t see them every day.
Post # 4
I moved out of state after college, for grad school, all by myself. It was scary, though I had friends with me that made it less so. Looking back, I am sooo glad I was brave enough to do it because it was one of the best, most eye-opening decisions I ever made. I didn’t want to end up being someone who had never experienced something beyond her own small bubble, so I took a risk, and I think if you do, you’ll be glad.
Post # 5
It’s a fellowship, not a lifetime. I have moved in and out of state more times than I can count and have never regretted doing those things, and I am also very close to my mom. I did things that I only had opportunities to do once in my life and I seized them with no regret. I sacrificed alot to do those things, but in the end, my friends were still my friends (and that was way before facebook) and my family was always a phone call away. I have a FB friend (daughter of a friend) that is about your age and travels all over the country for 6-8 months at a time. She is as close as ever to her friends and family and has made so many new friends that reading her posts just make me smile.
Your SO is another story. I can’t tell you what you should do with that relationship and you will have to talk all this over with him. The two of you would have to sit down and make decisions that is best for the both of you.
Post # 6
I recently moved across the country from my family/friends. I moved from GA to OR and I don’t have any friends in the area and all of my friends are spread out on the east coast. I also left my entire family – they all live in the same town. I’m the first to move out of the city…much less out of state. It’s been really tough so be sure you have the support of your SO and family.
PM me if you have any specific questions.
Post # 7
I would say Jump in with Two feet!, Life is an adventure and you should take every opportunity you have to experience as much as you can. I moved to another country with my Fiance (SO at the time) and it is different but I feel will be wonderful once I get everything on order. So all of my friends and family are thousands of miles away.
feel free to pm me as well I can be of some support if you need it 🙂
Post # 8
Thank you everyone for replying. It gives me some comfort just knowing that other people have done it. I just keep thinking back to when I studied abroad in undergrad and it was the happiest time in my life. I suppose I’ve just gotten so comfortable in my lifestyle here…which is probably a sign I need to jump in and test some new waters 🙂
Post # 9
I moved right after college. I had no job, no apartment, and only 2,000 in the bank. at least I did have a friend to move with me.
the first year was quite hard, and I almost moved home. but my friends convinced me to stay. now I’ve been living here for 12 years, and I’m SO GLAD I stayed!
I really feel like you can’t succeed in life unless you stick your neck out and give things a try! moving is a great adventure. before I moved, I was scared, but it’s not so scary when you’re right in the middle of it. and besides, if it doesn’t work out, you can always move home, right?
Post # 10
Go for it! I’m so happy to be married to Darling Husband, but in all honesty sometimes i wish I’d done something like this beforehand. He helps run the family business which has been in the same location since the 1920’s, so there is no way we will ever live in another place. I wish I had the opportunity to go away and do something awesome, take a chance, fulfill some dreams, etc. I had the chance at one point to move for a bit before I met Fiance and turned it down for reasons similar to yours, and I do regret it (would of still met Fiance either way so that doesn’t sway the staying here part).
Although in my case, all my dreams that would require moving away are things I’ve discovered I’m quite bad at. The ones I’m good at I can do here. So I guess that worked out okay for me, haha.
Post # 11
My first husband used to be transferred every year. Although I was a bit anxious the first time, I quickly learned there are nice people everywhere.
Jump at the chance to see new places, meet new people and have great adventures while making memories.
Post # 12
Well, I can’t say I’ve really moved away from Fiance, but I can give you the other side’s perspective. He moved 800 miles away from me (going from the Midwest to the East Coast)! It’s where he found a job after finishing his Master’s, and in this economy, he had to take what he could get. It was also several months before we’d gotten engaged (though we both treated that as an eventuality).
Being on the other end of it, I can’t say it’s always easy. However, I knew that it was the best move for him and for his career, and I would never, ever have denied him those opportunities (even though I secretly wanted to plead with him to stay with me). Our relationship is in many ways stronger than it was before, since each of us being on our own has been a learning process. In our case, absence made our hearts grow even fonder.
Once we’re married, I’ll be moving out by him. I’m excited to explore a new place with Fiance. While it’s scary not having any other friends out there, that’s part of what makes it an adventure. Also, both of us are incredibly close with our families…so now we are REALLY looking forward to getting visitors!
Post # 13
The idea of moving is a lot scarier than the reality of it. I’m sure it has something to do with spending too much time simply worrying about things you can’t control. 🙂 I’m a veteran mover. Family moved every 2 years, stateside and internationally, since I was an infant. After I turned 18 I moved to Texas, California, back to Texas (another location) and now I’m in Maryland and currently considering another move in 2013. Thing is, if your friends are good friends, distance doesn’t really matter. You’ll still find ways to stay friends. And you’ll meet new people in your new location as well. There are special people all over the planet and you’re bound to run into one of them no matter where you go. Moving is like ripping off a bandaid. Once you just do it, you’ll find out it wasn’t so bad and everything is fine.
Post # 14
I moved 655 miles away from my hometown alone at age 22 to get away from my ex. It was the best thing I ever did. I met my husband, had my daughter, met friends I’ll have for life, and now consider it a second home. Best decision ever! You can totally do it! When you look back on your life, you won’t regret the things you did as much as the things you didn’t do.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
Having a fellowship means you’ll have a great way to meet new people with similar interests. To be honest your SO should be more nervous right now!
It’s time for the baby bird to leave the next. Go out and fly!!! You’re embarking on an adventure that many of us have been on and it’s fantastic.
Post # 16
I have lived in thirteen different states. At one point in my life I had moving down to such a fine science I could be packed, moved and unpacked in one day. The thing I found with moving is that if you sit home and wallow in your loneliness you will be miserable and stay miserable. Look at moving as an adventure. Look forward to all the new people you will meet, all the new sites you will see, and all the great places to eat you will discover. If you go into it with a positive mindset it will greatly enhance your new life. Then don’t sit at home unpacking for weeks. Set aside time every week to get out and meet new people. Become an extrovert. Strike up conversations with people around you. Be helpful. Moving frequently has improved my people skills and brought me lifelong friends. I have never felt like I left friends behind. They come to visit. I go to visit and we talk on the phone all the time. In reality we are probably closer now then when we lived in the same town. 🙂 This is why our guest list is so huge.
You can do this! As soon as you move start scoping out your new town. You need to find the most fabulous restaurant to take you friends to when they come to visit so start asking the locals. It is a great conversation starter as is asking which stores have the best deals. Set out to meet all your neighbors. When I move I bake a ton of sweetbreads and take them door to door over the course of a few weeks. It always takes people by surprise and has brought me some wonderful friends. 🙂 Like much of life moving is what you make of it. Will yours be a death sentence or the adventure of a lifetime?