Post # 1
anyone make a big move out of state with their SO/FH/Husband? i kno it happens frequently with families in the service…but i was wondering for those not in the service, how did you prepare? was it something that happened quickly or did you plan the move in advance? how far in advance? did you find a job first then move? or find a place to live first then job after?
i’d love to hear your stories please 🙂
Post # 3
We moved from New York City to the Bay Area about a year and a half after we started dating. It wasn’t quite as hard a move as it sounds because he got into grad school at a school that has a significant amount of student housing. We were able to get an apartment in their couples without children section (this particular school doesn’t care if you’re married, though some do).
We had a long time to prepare because we found out in March, decided for sure in April, and didn’t move until late August. I gave my old job about four months notice that I was quitting – which was unusual but in the situation I knew they wouldn’t let me go early and would appreciate the notice / time to help train my replacement.
I did not get a job ahead of time – I may have looked at the listings, but in my experience it’s been really hard to get jobs from afar so I waited until I was out there and fortunately got hired about a week or two after I started looking.
Since housing was settled and we knew what one of us was doing, the hardest thing was actually dealing with buying a car – we didn’t have one because we lived in Manhattan before. I rented a car from Enterprise for the first week and drove that around while making a final decision on what car to buy – I’d done a lot of research on that before we moved.
Why would you be moving? Is it just wanting to live somewhere else or did one of you get transferred/go to school/etc? I think that affects the transition a lot.
Post # 4
Well, we had been planning to quit our jobs in Boston and move to the Bay Area without having jobs first (we are doing a 6-month trip in Asia inbetween). But, my company just announced that my department is moving to the Bay Area, so it is looking like I will have a job on the other side now (with an unpaid leave in between for our trip).
It’s not so bad, assuming you have significant savings in the bank. We have about a year’s salary saved up as our cushion. With the crazy high housing prices where we live and where we are moving, it can easily cost $7,000+ to get into an apartment (2 months rent deposit, pet deposit, realtor fee, plus actual first month’s rent). I also have family we can stay with for a month or two while my husband job hunts and we look for a great apartment.
We are on a month-to-month lease already, so it literally is as simple as packing our stuff up, putting it in a storage pod, having it shipped, finding a new place to live, and getting on a plane! We will also need to buy a car, as we currently don’t have one. But, it’s looking like we’ll be lucky, and can live in a great place within shuttle distance from my new job out there. So, only one car needed!
The locations we will live are non-negotiable to us – we WILL live somewhere we love. Luckily, our jobs are very transportable, and that is possible for us.
If you’re someone who has traveled/moved a lot – it’s totally not a huge deal. Organizational challenge, yes, but as long as you’ve been smart with finances and/or find a company willing to pay for the move, it’s totally doable.
Post # 5
@Entangled: thanks for sharing! 🙂
to answer your question, FH and I share the dream of settling down somewhere with mountains, possibly a small town where ppl know everyone and such….but we both don’t want to be toooooo far from family….both families live here in south jersey….so we’ve talked about moving out of state, most likely PA, most likely the southern-eastern side so that it isn’t too much of a drive away from our family….so yes, its more that we want to settle down somewhere else….
right now it doesnt seem like a pressing issue, but FH is thinking of getting a job soon (he’s currently on unemployment and goes to community college fulltime)….so i’m wondering how soon we should be seriously talking about moving and planning it out….i think realisticly, we’d probly stay here until the wedding but afterwards? who knows….i guess i wanna hear from all of yous to see and prepare myself on how to approach the issue with FH and see what will work better for us… 🙂
Post # 6
it’s a pain and takes some planning, but it’s not impossible! whether or not you move without a job first depends on how much you have in savings. how many months can you afford to live without jobs? how does the cost of living compare in the new city to the old one? it’s not a good time to be looking for a job, so i would be hesitant to move without one…it could take a year or more to find something.
Post # 7
@crayfish: Your move sounds fairly similar to ours! I live in the peninsula/south bay area and it is overloaded with east coast transplants.
@MamaHusky3: That’s probably a lot simpler than moving cross-country because you’d be within a couple of hours drive… I’d actually suggest starting to look for jobs before you move, since you can drive over for an interview and possibly find a way around revealing that it’d be a relocation. My grandfather used to live in Stroudsburg, which sounds a lot like what you’re looking for. Except I’m not sure what the job situation would be there… he was retired so it wasn’t an issue, but it didn’t really seem like a place with that many work options.
Anyway, if you’re open to leaving at any time, I’d suggest he look for jobs both here and there when he gets out of school. If not, then just keep it on both your radars… scan the area’s job listings periodically, see if there’s any way you can work out a transfer.
Post # 8
I moved from IN to Los Angeles in June 2009 and then from Los Angeles to Dallas in April 2010. Darling Husband relocated from Atlanta to Dallas in April 2010 as well.
I honestly didn’t find cross-country moving to be that difficult. I shipped my car from IN to CA and drove it (filled with most of my stuff) from CA to TX. I shipped what stuff wouldn’t fit in my car (I didn’t own any furniture yet and was in a furnished apartment in CA). Darling Husband rented a U-haul and he and his dad drove to GA to TX (one drove the u-haul the other drove DH’s car).
I was moving due to my job (didn’t change jobs – just locations) and Darling Husband travels for work and can live anywhere that is near a major airport so he didn’t have to get a new job either. That said, in this economy and especially moving to a smaller town that will have less opportunities, I wouldn’t move until you get a job secured in the new location.
For both moves, we also had housing figured out before moving. When moving to LA, my job provided me housing (so easy). When moving to Dallas, Darling Husband and I did a bunch of research ahead of time and met in Dallas twice to look at apartments (looked at probably 15 the first trip and then narrowed it to the top three that were re-visited the second trip during which time we signed our lease). I feel like it would really hard to move without somewhere to live as it is hard to stay in a hotel or something when you have all of your belongings with no where to put them.
Hope this helps!
Post # 9
i definitely did not think about having a cushion of savings for living expenses in case we move without jobs in place first, that is a good point to think about!!! we are starting to save little by little now so its def something to keep in mind….
Post # 10
back when Darling Husband was still my SO we planned to move to Portland for his schooling about 9 months in advance. We didn’t have jobs planned out, but we both managed to find something within a few weekd of moving.
It worked well, and we stayed there almost 2 years before we decided to come home. = )
Post # 11
@His Barista: what made you decide to move back home?
anyone else care to share your stories? 🙂
Post # 12
We’re planning on moving to the West Coast after our wedding (probably Spring 2012). We currently live in Upstate, NY and we feel so out of place, even though we’ve been NY staters our whole lives. We hate winter and we HATE taxes so NY is not for us. Though both of our whole families are here so it will be tough but its something that we need to do for ourselves. We cant let the fact that our families are here, keep us from following our dreams.
Fiance owns an independent mac and iPhone/iPad development firm. We’ve been able to grow the company as much as we can here but theres no networking. We really need to be somewhere where Fiance can be around like minded people. Currently, we both work for the same company (the corporate office a major retail chain). I’m an auditor and he’s a software developer but this is so far from what we actually want to do. We want to work for ourselves! So thats the plan. Hopefully by 2012 we’re to the point where we can both quit our day jobs and move. I told him that I would prefer that we are both working for our software company before we move so that I dont have to look for a job out there. I want to be able to pick up and come home whenever we want to. If we’re both working for our software company, all we need are our laptops and an internet connection so it doesnt really matter where we are (i.e. come home for Thanksgiving and stay through Christmas).
Of course we’ll need to visit these places to be sure if its a right fit for us, but as of right now Portland, OR is at the top of our list followed closely by San Francisco (but we’re both really loving Portland).
I’m excited to start a new chapter in our lives!
Post # 13
We are considering a big move right after the wedding… I will definitely be following this thread.
Post # 14
I moved from Boston to Honolulu, HI. It was for school, so housing was taken care of, so that was easy. I just had to pack some clothes and get a plane ticket. I moved back to Boston when I was done in Hawaii, so it was the same thing to move back. I just paid to have an extra bag on the flight, so I didn’t have to ship anything home.
I also moved from Boston to Tallahassee, FL, which was quite different. I knew I was moving down there in March, but wasn’t moving until August, so I had time to plan. I had to find an apartment, hire movers to drive my stuff to my new apartment, and then I packed up my car and drove down there. It costs several thousand dollar to get set up. I had an application fee for my apartment, and the deposit, the pet deposit, and security deposit were all due at once. I also had to pay deposits to turn on my utilities, cable, and internet. I had some money saved, but it definitely costs more than I expected to get settled in a new place.
If you think it’s going to be hard finding a job (which it probably will be in this economy), then I would find a job before moving unless you have significant savings to live off of for several months. Moving itself is a huge pain, but living someplace new is always fun! Good luck!
Post # 15
bumping this thread rather than start another, because we are considering moving from Tx to Iowa…