(Closed) Moving the "crew" into my house….just sayin' – Rant

posted 6 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

First of all: Yay Maine! I lived there for a few years and I LOVED it. Now to business: this is going to super hard for you. I was 42 when I met my now-husband. But I moved into his house and he had a super mean cat, who was just rotten. And I love dogs and cats in general, but this cat was a thorn in my side every day.

I’m really OCD about having everything really clean and organized and my Darling Husband is not. In short, you are the one who will have to suck it up and compromise the most. I have raised two boys so I at least went through the chaos of children but you have not so your adjustment will be more difficult.

You are going to have a baptism by fire getting used to this invasion. Maybe it would help to have someone to talk to while you are adjusting. At our age it’s really hard to change when you are used to living on your own with an orderly universe and then bringing a full-on circus into your space.

Lots of luck, try to let go and work on laying down some ground rules so you are not completely over-run and overwhelmed.

Post # 4
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m pretty type a and don’t especially like other people messing with my stuff.

But if you love your family you have to figure out how to pick your battles.  It’s the tradeoff of having them around.

If you don’t love the package deal — all four of them including the dog — enough to make it work, then you shouldn’t let them move in.

As a compromise you could suggest waiting a few years until the teenagers move out.  Not sure how the mean dog factors in.

Is there a room that you can keep for yourself?  Maybe throw a desk, a day bed, and a dog bed in there.  It can be your respite when you need some time to yourself.

Post # 5
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

First of all I highly recommend you declare some space in the house as YOURS. You are going to be very frustrated when all these males move in (along with the mean dog) and they literally take over your house. They are also going to drive your OCD into overtime – in my experience men move in and instantaneously expect you to maintain the home, care for them, clean up their messes, etc. You will need to be firm in your expectations and what you are willing to compromise on. Now how do I know this? Because I come from a very similar background and have lived with 5 men during my adulthood and I know how it usually goes.

The mean dog has me concerned. Like WHY is he mean? I am not a crazy dog lady (I am a crazy cat lady!) but I have been involved in animal rescue long enough to know that dogs and cats are not born mean, they are made that way by their humans. I would be checking with a good animal communicator to try to get at the root of the problem. You don’t want this mean dog making your furbabies miserable.

GOOD LUCK!

 

Post # 7
Member
241 posts
Helper bee

Just make sure that having this man, his kids, and the mean dog move is is truly what you want for yourself and your life and your relationship. Because it sort of sounds to me like your Fiance is wanting to do this out of convenience. I’m NOT trying to be mean, I just felt like I needed to point that out. Don’t let other people convince you to do something that you’re not ok with or ready for just because it benefits them. 🙂

((hugs))

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