(Closed) Moving to a different city for your relationship..would you?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you move to a different city for the sake of your relationship?
    Yes I would, no questions asked. : (52 votes)
    36 %
    I have done that in the past, and it turned out badly. : (5 votes)
    3 %
    I would for my FI/DH, but not for a boyfriend. : (62 votes)
    43 %
    None of these...described in a post : (26 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    18641 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I moved across the country for my husband twice.  The first time before we got engaged and then a year and a half ago.

    Post # 4
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I moved from Chicago to MI about 4.5 hours to be with my then boyfriend, and now Fiance. I moved in Sept of this past year and her proposed in Nov. I moved because we were doing the long distance relationship and long story short one of us had to move to ulitmately make it work and financially, etc it made more sense for me since my job is mobile.

    So I moved knowing that we both knew that the next step would be marriage, even though there was no ring on my finger at the time. Was I scared to move away from all my family, friends etc YES. But was it the best decission I ever made for myself HELL YES! But I know every one’s situation is diff.

    I hope everything works out for your sweetie.

    Post # 5
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @SecretBee23: My husband and I were LDR (long distance relationship) until the last 2 months before we got married.

    1 – LDR is rough, but it can also make you (and your relationship) stronger if you are intentional about it. Don’t let the fear of being apart in distance for a time push you into moving before you’re ready.

    2 – Yes, I moved to be with my husband. Halfway around the world (literally). Would I have moved if I didn’t know 100% that we were getting married? No, not a chance. For us, that meant that we talked about and planned the move before there was a ring on my finger, because discussing the move was part of discussing marriage; but I didn’t move until well after we were engaged. I moved to be with my husband, not to be with my fiance or boyfriend. Maybe that difference only makes sense in my own head, haha, but it was definitely a clear distinction for me.

    Post # 6
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I moved for my now Darling Husband when we were only dating a short time…it worked for me 🙂

    Post # 7
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    It’s partly dependent on the relationship – I’d have to already know I could live with the person – and partly on the place.  I moved to California when my fiance started grad school, but I wouldn’t move somewhere I really didn’t want to live.  We were not yet engaged when I moved, though… while thinking he was someone I wanted to spend my life with played into agreeing to move, being engaged was not a requirement for me.

    Post # 8
    135 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    i m moving to another country for mine, if you cant live with out them you move for them. His job is priority right now and mine will be after i finish my masters

    Post # 9
    582 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I moved from Cincinnati to Nashville to be closer to my then-boyfriend, now-husband. I wouldn’t do it unless you were both sure that the relationship was on its way to marriage. I wouldn’t do it unless you got a job you liked in the same town. If you have a good attitude and a commitment to making it work and meeting new people, it will be fine. 

    Personally, I didn’t move in with my BF/FI/DH until we were married. We bought a house together while we were engaged, and I spent weekends there, but I wanted to maintain a little separateness until we were married. That’s just me though. If moving in together seems like a bad idea to you because of other bad experiences, know that you can still move across the state to be with a guy without moving in with him. You might both need to find different roommates to make ends meet, but it’s doable. 

    Post # 10
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    It depends.  If you are both moving at the same time, you will both be facing the same challanges.  (Looking for jobs, exploring the city, trying to meet people you would like to know).  You can expect that those challenges will arise. 

    Is there opportunity there for you, a reason for you to be there- so that you won’t just feel stuck or bored?  If you want to be together, it sounds like a natural progression (moving to a new place is a good thing and part of growing up), but make sure that there is something for you too- so that you don’t end up resenting it.

    Post # 11
    600 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2006

    I think it depends on what you do with your decision.  If you move for him and then place your happiness on his shoulders, that’s going to end in resentment.  If you move because you love him and are up for living in a new place and take responsibility for your happiness, social life, job, and other opportunities, then it could turn out really great.

    Post # 12
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I moved to Australia from Chicago right after Kingy and I got engaged, I made the plans to do it before I knew he was going to propose. It has turned out really well but has been incredibly difficult to be away from my family. I left a career behind but have learned how to cook really well, how to take care of a household, and have found a different job that I love. However, we’re moving to Chicago in 3 weeks! Then its Kingy’s turn to start fresh!

    Post # 13
    1829 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    The good thing with your situation is that the move wouldn’t be THAT far away so if things didn’t work out, there are still options for you.   You said you’re a bit scared of moving in together as it’s turned out badly for you in the past – look at this then as a precursor to marriage.  You say this is the man you think you want to spend your life with, if living together turns out badly, then at least you know now before getting married. 

    I moved halfway around the world for my fiance…literally.  I’m from Chicago, he’s from Australia – you can’t really find two places farther apart than that! lol.  It was the best decision I ever made and I couldn’t be happier.  We discussed all the options and decided that his career was going to take precedence over mine at this time, which dictated where we live (he’s a civil engineer working for an awesome company, I’m a teacher and social worker – my job is definitely more flexible).   Granted, when I moved over here, we were already engaged and I was (and still am) 100% confident in knowing that this the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.  

    If you feel confident that this is a relationship that has the long term potential, then you have two options:  one is to take a risk and move with him now.  It will be a stressful time but if you guys get through that, you’ll know your relationship is strong.  Alternatively, keep the relationship going long distance for a while and see how things go.  If your relationship is truly strong, you will make it through the LDR part until you’re ready to be together. 

    Good luck!

    Post # 15
    1124 posts
    Bumble bee

    I moved to another state to be with my bf of 3 months. He is now my FH, and in a few months we are moving across country where I will be over 1000 miles away from anyone I know.

    Post # 16
    2788 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I did.  My Darling Husband (FI at the time) lives in a different city from where we both grew up, and so I moved to be with him about 6 months before the wedding. 

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