Post # 1
In the past couple of months, Fiance and I have made the decision to move to Massachusetts to be close to his family and find better job opportunities. Unfortunately, in our area there just isn’t much in either of our fields and the lack of prospects/job satisfaction is becoming a bit maddening. The biggest reason for the move, however, is his family — FI’s dad died suddenly a few years ago, leaving his mom and her sister to care for the family home and their elderly parents. Grandma isn’t doing so well these days, and Fiance and I both want to be able to spend as much time with her as possible and be there to help his mom and aunt carry the weight of taking care of both grandparents. I think in the end, we both genuinely miss and want a constant family connection. And though I love my family dearly, they live in an area of the country neither of us has any desire to move to and are less stressful to deal with when there are state lines separating us.
So. That long-winded background info taken care of… our plan is to move within the next 2-6 months. Fiance is inbetween jobs right now and volunteering as an unpaid intern at a local nonprofit while he looks for a job in MA. I have a decent job that I like well enough, but lately we’ve both been feeling like it’s just the time to make a change. Our lease is coming to its end in April, but I’m hoping to convince the landlord to let us operate beyond that for a few months on a month-by-month basis.
I’m ready to make the change, but I’m terrified at the prospect of moving somewhere new where I don’t know a single soul beyond Fiance and his family. We both went to school where we currently live and a lot of our friends stayed in the area, plus I made tons of friends at my job. I’m so afraid of moving and having nobody. I do make friends pretty easily, but it’s one thing to make new friends while you already have some around and a whole other bag of peanuts to make friends from scratch. Ack.
For those of you who have done this, moving to another state (or even another country)… how did you handle it? Do you have any advice for me?
Post # 3
I’m subscribing cause I might be moving this summer – if I can only get into graduate school 🙂 – and while I have moved away from my family to go to undergrad and currently live out of city, I’ve never moved out of state and have been within 2 hours 🙁 So I hope you get some good advice!
Post # 4
I’ve relocated a few times to new cities where I didn’t know a soul! I didn’t really look at it as a stressful, scary situation. But as something fun and exciting. The best part of your situation is you’ll have your SO with you so you can experience new places and things together. I met new people through work and school when I moved and you just put yourself out there. Let people know you just moved there and always ask for recommendations for places from people. Good luck!!
Post # 5
Darling Husband and I moved to London after getting married for his job.
I still haven’t found work and neither of us knew anyone here.
I suggest the following:
1) Network like crazy before you move. Ask people if they have a friend of a friend (of a friend) etc who lives in the area and go on “friend dates”
2) Get involved in a group/hobby you enjoy. I recently joined a horseback riding/social club here in London and have met several lovely women through it.
3) If you are working, go out for happy hours, etc with your co-workers.
Since you are the “new one” in the area you will have to do the reaching out. I was talking to a friend a few nights ago who recently moved and she said you have to reach out 3 times (on avg) before getting a reach out back.
She also recommended a book called MWF seeking BFF about a newly married woman moving to a new city for her husband and having to find new friends (maybe a new BFF). I just downloaded it for my kindle and will read it as well.
Also, stay in touch with your friends at home. Schedule phone dates to keep in touch, it is so nice to hear a familiar voice when you are feeling lonely and far away.
There will be days when you feel horribly alone, but they will pass. It’s hard to be the “new kid” in a new town, but it’s not impossible.
Hope that helps.
Post # 6
I haven’t personally moved but Fiance has.
He moved from NY (on the CT border) to Las Vegas for work while I was pregnant. His friend’s father knew a guy who owned a business out there that was looking for new guys to hire. So Fiance and his friend drove out with a car full of stuff and that was it. They found an apartment before moving, which they regret, because they weren’t able to comparison shop. Of course they had no where to stay because they didn’t know anyone so it was necessary. They only had eachother and didn’t really like their coworkers but they found other friends. The lived in an apartment so they started talking with their older downstairs neighbor who mentioned that he had kids their age. So the next time his kids came over Fiance and his friends went and started talking to them and those were their new friends! They also made friends with some Mormom missionaries who knocked on their door, lol. Unfortunately, the business went bankrupt about 4 months into it so he only stayed there about 5/6 months. He then flew into Boston and I picked him up while I was in labor, but that’s a whole other post!
After that he settled into New Husband (on the border of Mass) with me. We lived with my parents for about 6 months and then found our own place. He talks to the people he works with but he doesn’t really go out with anyone. He works third shift so it is hard to make friends with anyone else because he’s either sleeing or working. We’re surrounded by my family here so at least we have that interaction.
You’ll have eachother and his family to keep busy for awhile. You can also try volunteering or join a book club and that will help you meet people. You could also start attending a church if that’s something you’re into. I’m not sure of your industry but the job market in Mass is pretty much the same as NY right now. If you don’t mind me asking – what area of Mass are you looking to move to (Boston, Northeast, West, CT/RI border)? I have family all over Mass so I might be able to give you a better idea of the area. You can also PM if you’d like.
Post # 7
I moved from Massachusetts to Hawaii, back to Massachusetts, then to Florida (3 different cities in Florida) in the past 5 years. So I’ve moved around A LOT. I usually join a gym and take a few group classes and meet people that way. I have a dog, and I always meet nice people at the dog park. So if you have any hobbies, find a group with the same interests and meet people that way.
What part of MA are you moving to? I’m from Boston, so I’m bias, but I think it’s awesome there. 🙂
Post # 8
@LoveGypsy: Yeah, overall I know it’ll be really exciting and fun. I think I’m just nervous because the only places I’ve ever lived were my hometown and my college town, and in both places I obviously had TONS of people to befriend and it was easy.
@KatNYC2011: Thanks for all the tips! Did you move from the US? What a huge step, I can’t imagine moving to a completely new country 😮 Overall, I know me and I’m pretty good at reaching out so I think I’ll do fine. I’m hoping to find work somewhere with people in my age range so I have options, but after some experiences at my current job I’m also leery of being friends with coworkers so I want to make an effort to find friends outside of the workplace. I like the idea about clubs, might try finding something like that! And I’ll def look for that book.
@dcdt212: I sent you a PM 🙂
@Boston Bee: Finding a gym (hopefully a nice YMCA) is my number one priority, but I totally forgot about meeting people there haha. We’re looking to move as close to Worcester as possible, but also love the idea of Boston.