(Closed) Moving to be with your SO….how do you feel?

posted 8 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I moved to another country for my hubby. I dont know anyone here and I dont particularly like the neighborhood he lives in, but what I do love is that we are finally together. He lives in a very diverse city and in our particular neighborhood Im the minority. Coming from a smaller town, its a great experience for me to live in such a diverse area- but also a big change! Every day is an adventure, but I wouldnt change it for the world because now we’re together.

Post # 4
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We’re moving to my FI’s hometown after the wedding.  I’m petrified.  He’ll have all of his family and closest friends.  I’ll have 1 friend.  Its terrifying for me to do it.  But our quality of life may be better in a place where the cost of life isn’t so tough.  In any event, we’ll try it out.  We’re not going to buy a house, we’ll rent first.  Just in case it doesn’t work out, we can still try someplace else.  Its sad and scary to me!  I won’t be close to my closest friends anymore, its going to be so hard!

Post # 5
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I moved to be with my Fiance almost two years ago. It was definitely scary, but the distance was killing us. We kind of made a compromise, we are in his hometown now and our plan is to be here for 5-7 years and then we will move back closer to my family. I have always been close with my family, so it is very hard right now to be away from them. However, my FI’s family helps to fill that void and are always here for us. It is definitely a big step, but to be with the love of your life, sacrifices are worth it:)

Hopefully you won’t be too far from your family that you can go see them on a somewhat regular basis? Also, it will get easier after the move. You will make friends in your new area and build a life together:) I know it still doesn’t replace your old friends, but it helps.

Good luck:)!

Post # 6
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m moving 3000 miles away to California to be with Fiance. I know it’s going to be difficult to be far from my family and friends, but it’s the choice we made as a couple. It’s so much harder being separated from him. I know that everything will be alright once we are together.

Post # 8
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I moved across the country to be with my husband (then fiance).  I was definetly excited, nervous, all emotions in between.  After you move there, if you find that you don’t like it, the two of you should talk about possibly moving somewhere else.  Are you going to be working or going to school?  That is a good way to meet new people who will help you transition into this new place.  Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
2344 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am also moving to be with Fiance. He’s in a new city but has a job, a place and friends, so it is already home for him. I think what I am most nervous about is feeling like I am moving into his life rather than us starting a life together. We are going to find a new place in a new part of town so that can be “ours”, which is really important to me. 

Post # 10
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I didn’t move to be with my Fiance (I had already moved to Seoul when I met him), but I’m staying in his country for him.  I do have my own friends and career which helps the situation a lot, but I didn’t know anyone when I moved here.  I’ve moved around a lot and the best advice I can give is to be as social as you can for the first few months in your new home.  It’s easy to stay in and stick to what you are comfortable doing, but people are usually the most receptive to getting to know you when you are brand new to the area.  The more social you are, the more you will be able to quickly find people you connect with and start building relationships.  Skype is also your best friend! My sister lives in Hong Kong, my mum near Toronto, and I live in Seoul – we Skype nightly.  My sister and I chat basically all night together as we do our own work on our computer.  I think we talk more now than we ever have before because of the separation.  There are tons of ways to keep connected to your family and friends back home 🙂

I also think compromise is REALLY important.  I’m staying here for another 10-15 years which is a hUGE deal for me (imagining giving birth abroad and raising kids in a culture with minimal day care facilities is challenging for me).  But we have an agreement to move to Canada to be closer to my family or to another English speaking country once Fiance retires.  If you are moving for your SO’s job prospects, he needs to be open to making compromises in the future for your benefit. 

Post # 11
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m the exact same as bamm. I didn’t move here to be with my FH but I met him here and I made the decision to stay here to be with him. Making any sort of decision like this is hard and scary but ultimately in the end I know that I can keep touch with my friends by Facebook and Skype and I’m excited to start my married life here with FH.

Post # 12
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’ll be moving to Geneva after the wedding to be with Fiance.  I’m so excited to finally live with him and end the long distance, but I’m also pretty nervous.  I’m not sure if I’ll be able to find a job there or how easy it will be to make friends and I’m sad to be moving so far away from my family and friends.  But I’m more excited than nervous/sad (most days!). 

Post # 13
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I am about to leave my sister and 2 nieces (I was there when they were born) and a job I really like.  He moved to a bigger city (that I dislike) for a j-o-b.  He makes 2X what I do and has a 2 year old house.  Financially I don’t really have a choice. (we have been together 5 years)  His family is not there and he doesn’t have many friends there. 

I am afraid I won’t be able to find a job quickly and miss my family so much it will hurt our marriage.  I am used to taking care of myself, if I am stuck at home I will go crazy.

The things we do for love…..

Post # 14
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am more excited to move to be with my Fiance because we have never lived in the same state. He lives near both of our parents (well near meaning like 3-5 hours) instead of the 10 hour distance that I have right now. It will definitely take some adjusting, but I visit him there a lot so I have developed some close friendships and sort of know my way around. I’m hoping that it will be a natural transition, but who knows how I will feel when the time comes (we will be LDR until late this summer).

Post # 15
Member
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I struggled with this very thing a LOT. Fiance and I dated long distance off and on for 5 years (through college and a year thereafter) before I moved to the city he was in to be with him. I was lucky and found a job that I LOVED there…only to find that he had to move just a year later to somewhere new, and I followed him here too.

As a very independent, career-driven girl, it was really tough for me to get to a point where I was okay with these moves. Over the years of our LDR, we even broke up on a couple of occasions because I didn’t think I could adjust my plans and goals to follow him around, but ultimately, I loved him too much to lose him over that, and took the plunge. I can’t lie – its been really tough – but I have never regretted it. I know he is as committed to the relationship as I am, and if down the road I need him to move for me, I know that he will. Starting over in a new place with him (twice!) was a fun adventure that really brought us together. You’re right to be nervous, but if he’s worth it, you won’t regret it! Its so much easier than being apart!

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