(Closed) Moving with SO before or after securing a new job..POLL!

posted 4 years ago in Career
  • poll: Should I move before or after I secure a job?
    Move before I secure a job : (4 votes)
    13 %
    Move after I secure a job : (22 votes)
    69 %
    Move after your house is sold, regardless of a new job or not : (6 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 3
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    Personally I wouldn’t move without at least an engagement. I think you are giving up a lot to move. I know he has the ring but I wouldn’t put someones name on my house until I was married. I think it was a mistake to combine finanaces too. This is all coming from someone whose relationship moved quickly but you need to protect yourself. 

    Post # 4
    228 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I’d want the security of a job and at least engagement before moving But if you are confident in both your relationship and financial stability I would follow YOUR gut!

    Post # 5
    2639 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

    futuremrss17:  Just so you know, you’ll get more money if you don’t sell it to the company. Typically in those situations it’s bought by a relocation company and they are going to turn around and sell it for a profit. You’re better off selling the house to an actual buyer if you can stick it out.

    I’d say that if you need the income, don’t move until you have a job lined up. If the income isn’t super necessary, it can be easier to get a job if you’re already living in the area. So it depends.

    Post # 6
    10114 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Agree with above. Given that you’ve only been together about a year I would not take a gamble on moving to a new city with no job prospects and selling off my security for a man i’m only dating.

    Post # 7
    551 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I have to agree with your SO. Why not have the extra security of actually having a job before you move. If, as you say, it should be fairly easy for you to find a new job quickly, then why not start applying as soon as you hear about his transfer going through? Best case scenario you’ll be ready to move when he is, if not hopefully you’ll find something soon after. I don’t see why you should cut into his moving bonus / your savings if you don’t HAVE to.

    Post # 9
    744 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    futuremrss17:  We’re currently in the same situation, only we haven’t merged finances. We’ve been together 19 months, not engaged, pretty sure he has the ring (or has at least ordered it) and is going to propose on a trip we have coming up in June to Mount Rushmore. He rented out the house he owns and moved in with me in August. He got a job offer that we just coudn’t turn down, it was more than both of us were making combined at the time, and 2 steps up the career ladder for him. We bought a house (just his name is on it, since I didn’t have a job there they couldn’t count my income, but obviously counted my debt), the company moved all of our stuff etc. I’m currently going between both places but have left one of my jobs. Mostly because I didn’t have the time to do minor fixes/upgrades to my house, deep clean it or job hunt. I had started looking for a job before moving there and found it nearly impossible. I would get a call and ask to come in for an interview the next day, but I had to give 73 hours notice for a day off that wasn’t accompanied by a doctor’s note. We decided it would be easier for me to give notice and be in the city I was trying to find a job. I’ve found a “second job”, but not a “real job” yet, but I’ve had more time to apply and have been able to go on interviews since leaving my job. We had always said we wouldn’t move until we were married, but life doesn’t always work the way you think it will. Buying the new house pushed back the engagement because all of a sudden we needed a downpayment we hadn’t been planning on, and while the moving bonus covered a good portion it didn’t cover all of it. Plus when buying a house, they don’t like when large chunks of money come out of your savings right before you sign. Everyone in our lives knew we’d be moving together, his mom is the only person that even questioned it. But it was more of a “you need to get on the ball and stop living in sin” type of comment. 

    futuremrss17:  You said you aren’t even sure when the transfer would go through, and it sounds like you could already be married at that point. Would he expect you to stay behind for your job if you were already married?

    Post # 11
    3902 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    futuremrss17:  I would move right away if I was engaged. Start looking for a job now. The house will sell when it will sell, doesnt matter. What matters is if he has the ring and is moving soon and wants you to come with he should propose very soon. If he proposes before he moves then I would move with him.

    Post # 13
    7660 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I am in a similar situation, except we are already engaged and Fiance moved to his new city for new job last week 🙁 .

    I am hoping to move to FI’s new city in August, when my current lease is up. This week I’m planning to talk to my boss to see if I can keep my current job and do it remotely from the new city. I think there’s maybe a 30% chance they’ll go for it. If not, then I will begin the job hunt in earnest. Hopefully 3 months will be enough time for me to find a new job there, but if not I think I’ll extend my lease at least a month here. The idea of moving somewhere without a job lined up scares me half to death. I’ve been working full time since I was 22 and have never left a job without another one lined up. I seriously get diarrhea (TMI sorry) just thiniking about that possibility.

    The whole thing is so stressful! I think you should wait til you have a job to move, and a ring as well. Good luck!

    Post # 15
    744 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    futuremrss17:  Do you only need 2 weeks notice at your university? The 2 I’ve worked at required 30 days for full-time employees. I think the last one finally got around to replacing me 3 months later. They’re clearly on top of it. haha. Didn’t you say you knew some people there? We’re moving closer to my SO’s family and they’ve been EXTREMELY helpful in my search. I also reached out to people in my industry I’ve worked for in the past and have good relatinships with and asked if they hear of anything to send it my way. Another friend is looking to get out of CA and is looking for jobs all over the country and sends me job postings she sees in the area. I kind of can’t believe how supportive people have been considering we’re not even engaged yet. I honestly thought I might get some push back. 

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