- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2017
So a little background on my situation with my SO. We’ve been together about a year, and our relationship moved pretty quickly. We’re on the verge of an engagement (he has the ring, just waiting on a proposal at this point!), and we live together in my house that I bought prior to meeting him. We combined finances a couple months ago, and we are both very responsible when it comes to spending, saving, retirement contributions, etc. Our relationship is great, and we have already started planning some of the details of our wedding (most likely this time next year).
We both have good jobs, but he makes significantly more than I do. The company he works for is a big company that has locations all over the US – mine is a small private university, so transfering jobs isn’t an option for me. He has recently thought about trying to transfer to a different location to get some more experience, as well as getting away from an awful boss (he would be the 3rd person this manager has drove away from that location in the last 6 months). This would also be a move that would be a decent raise for him. The area he’s considering transfering to is an area we both like, and I’m completely fine with relocating and starting somewhere new with him. It’s about 3 hours away from where we are now, and I actually have a couple friends that live there.
This transfer is something that could happen in 2-3 months, or closer to 9 months to a year, depending on when some people at that location move on/retire. We started discussing what will happen if he gets a transfer when it comes to my career. He said he would not want me to move until I secure a new job in the new town. I don’t really like this idea, though I understand where he’s coming from with it. We can’t currently afford to lose my income, but we do have a good amount in savings that could be a cushion for us if I’m out of work for a couple months (would be plenty to cover bills for 7-8 months, and is 75% of money that I brought to the joint account, not that it really matters at this point). He will also get a pretty decent moving bonus that would help us out – would be enough to cover all of our bills for a few months.
There’s also a chance that his company would buy my house when he transfers, but only if we put his name on the deed (I’m fine with doing this, but would rather be engaged first). My house also is in a great area and most in my area for the price I would list it for sell so quickly that it’s hard to buy one in the area unless you jump on the first thing you find. I would be able to easily make money on the house as well, as I remodeled the whole house when I bought it (did all of the work with the help of family, so saved lots of money). If I had to, I could live with my sister temporarily if my house sells before I land a new job.
I work in a field that shouldn’t be too hard for me to find a job quickly(Information Technology). I also have a Bachelor degree in Business, so I could potentially find a job outside of my current field. I know there is always the risk of not being able to find something as soon as I would like, but I would be willing to even work something that isn’t ideal just to be able to move with him. The thought of him moving there without me and starting a life somewhere else new without me physically being there just makes me sick, even though it would be temporary.
Am I crazy for wanting to move with him before securing a job first? Or should I play it smart and just wait until I find a job to make my move? Or move once the house sells? Have any of you been in a similar situation? If so, what did you do?