(Closed) “Mr. & Mrs. Jane Doe”

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I hope that this won’t cause too much trouble, but I actually think that the couples should read “Mr. and Ms. John Doe”.

Post # 4
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Etiquette calls to have the husband’s name, but if you’re like me and think that is sexist, you might go with Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe.

Post # 7
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We didn’t want to deal with all the traditional patriarchal crap. 😉 Therefore, we addressed our invites to Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe.

Post # 9
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@cosmocity: I think the way you did it was fine! To be honest, no one I know even looks at how the invites are addressed–they’re too busy opening them.

Post # 12
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

I think the etiquette God’s will not come and get you!  lol  For me personally, when I was single, the only thing I looked at was whether or not I could bring a guest.  Otherwise, I didn’t even look at the envelope.

Post # 13
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think that some married women (even those that take their husband’s names) are a little taken by been addressed by “Mrs. John Doe”, as though her identify is trumped by her husbands. I’ve heard this from recently married friends of mine who have recieved invites like this. I think that it’s a traditional way, so there’s nothing wrong with it.

We are going with “Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe” if they have the same last name and “Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe” if they have different names. 

Post # 14
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think that etiquette states that you’re not supposed to separate a man’s first name from his last name. So it would be “Mr & Mrs John Doe” (which is what we did) or “Jane & John Doe” or Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe (which honestly sounds long and awkward to me).

Post # 15
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

To op:  I don’t think you need to reprint your labels, but Hillsy is right…you aren’t “supposed” to separte the man’s first and last name.  I don’t think most people know this,and I think fewer people will care.

For anyone else struggling with this:  the title thing was such a mental disaster for us (we have lots of one doctor homes, two doctor homes, feminist homes, nonfeminsit homes) that we just skipped titles all together for our informal wedding and did “Jane and John Doe”  or “The Doe Family” if the family had children we were inviting.  couples with different last names were addressed:  Jane Smith and John Doe

Post # 16
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Mr and Mrs. John Doe is the traditional way to write it (and as a newly married woman, I LOVE getting mail addressed this way.

hilsy85 is also correct that etiquette states that you shouldn’t separate a man’s first name from his last name.

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