(Closed) Mr. and Mrs. – Ladies don’t get a first name?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
1011 posts
Bumble bee

I’m with 2ndBride.  It makes me crazy when I see Mr. and Mrs. HisFirst and HerFirst TheirLast.  Even though I am not planning on changing my name, I would not be offended to see Mr. and Mrs. HisFirst HisLast on an invitation nor would I not respond to being called Mrs. HisLast.  But, like HL said, it should be more in line with the preference of the guest.  I also detest when things are addressed to Dr. and Mrs.–Dr. is a PROFESSIONAL, not a social title.

Post # 18
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

This probably isn’t perfect etiquette, but here’s how I did ours:

The Blankblanks (for a married couple with no kids)

The Blankblank Family (for a couple with kids)

Ms. Dot and Mr. Blankblank (couples with different last names, or unmarried living together)

We didn’t have this come up, but for families that are unmarried or just different last names, you could do The Dot and Blankblank Family.

Casual, and I didn’t feel like it was awkward at all!

Post # 19
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree with most everyone above in that, I detest Mr. and Mrs. his first, their last…..and I also refused to use it on invitations.  I’ve always agreed “she has a name too.”  It almost feels like, if you get married, are you supposed to lose your identity?  Surprisingly though, since getting married, I am really offended by the people who not only ASSUME that I’ve taken my husbands last name, but that also refer to us as Mr. and Mrs. his first, his last.  I didn’t think that this would bother me so much because I was figuring on eventually transitioning into his last name, but for professional reasons, decided to keep mine for now.  I guess that I thought that people would check on this BEFORE just assuming, but they didn’t.

Post # 20
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Yeah @bridedenise, I had the same thing happen. A bunch of our cards were addressed “Mr and Mrs HisFirst HisLast.” I didn’t take his last name, and I was surprised at how many people addressed the cards this way. I don’t mind being called his last name, I intend to take it socially, but I don’t like being left off all together.

I made him open the cards addressed only to him, hehe.

I like Jessica Snaptacular Photos’ method, we considered that one, too!

Post # 21
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’m not doing Mr or Mrs on my invites at all.  I honestly don’t care what etiquette says, its my wedding and I’ll do what I want! Kiss

Post # 22
2472 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

If it makes you cringe, then do it how you like it.  I’m not big on following rules and doing thing the way they are “supposed” to be done.  It’s your wedding so it should be your choice!

Post # 22
2 posts

It is 6 years on but this is the first google hit for this topic.. 


Does no one see the beauty in viewing a married couple as one. Sure we could use Mr. And Mrs. Surname, but to me the traditional way is beautiful symbolism of two people joining together. I wouldn’t let other mens misogony ruin that for me and make me cringe. I absolutely view all people equally and if we traditionally  used the womans name first it would be just as beautiful. 


Why is everyone sensitive if there is no misogony in your hearts?


I also think everyone should put down whatever they are comfortable with. The bride and groom. It’s your title 🙂

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  mattmorgan44. Reason: added last paragraph
Post # 23
9079 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Didn’t see this thread was raised from the dead. Disregard.

Post # 24
214 posts
Helper bee

I’m going with Ms. (miz) after I get married. And I made up my mind, at my wedding one day, they will say “please welcome *bf’s name* and *my name* *his/our lastname* ” 

I don’t like the word Mrs. lol it doesnt suit me and I prefer Ms. but still, I don’t want any prefix in our names at my future wedding. So it doesnt matter whats technically corect or what the ettiquite is, its 2015 -you (most likely) live in a free country, you can do what u want 🙂

oooooh its 2015 now… 6 years ago it wasnt lol. whoops. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 1 month ago by  lunabee11.

The topic ‘Mr. and Mrs. – Ladies don’t get a first name?’ is closed to new replies.

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