(Closed) Mr. BEE's PLAN-HELP!!!!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
478 posts
Helper bee

If he asks you what’s up, tell him.  It’s not manipulation, moreso being open about how you feel.  Tell him you’ve been together for 5 years, you’re 30, and it seems like he isn’t make any moves to advance the relationship further, so . . .

I told Fiance that he didn’t have to choose to marry me, once I moved to another city.  But he had to make a choice one way or the other.  We had been together nearly 3 years at that point and I was 32, 33.  I told him I loved him and wanted to be with him, but if he didn’t see the same (i.e. marriage), and soon, to let me go.

Maybe I was cold, but I meant it . . .

Post # 4
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

You can tell him your vague plan in advance. 

I’m not waiting but I’ve had a similar conversation recently with Fiance… I needed some me time and some space because I was feeling like i was getting a bit lost in our couple stuff when he had a lot of me time all day while I worked (he works much less than I)

Post # 6
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@bellenola:  I’m agreeing with shychigirl. 

Yes, you just straight up tell him when he ASKS, do not volunteer this info because then it’ll seem manipulative. 

It doesn’t mean you don’t love him but you just need to spend some time outside of the relationship, reevaluting things if you will, its really just about keeping your mind off of engagement. 

I’m no good at it but I’m still trying! 2 weeks without mentioning anything wedding related, wooo! 😉 

 

Post # 7
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Tell him why you’re doing it.  It’s honesty, not manipulation. 

Post # 8
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

@bellenola:  Good luck! I’m not really waiting yet (no discussions of engagement on the horizon), but whenever I find myself spending too much of my time thinking about “advancing the relationship” and wondering if he’s ready for the next level of commitment, I’m hoping to divert my energy into something more productive – i.e., taking care of myself like Mr Bee’s Plan! If Boyfriend or Best Friend asks me what’s up, I’m just planning to say that I want to take better care of myself and develop some of my interests, and summer is a great time to make some healthy changes.

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