(Closed) Mr. Bee’s Three Step Plan (and Backup Plan!) for getting engaged

posted 12 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
3579 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Mr. Bee this is the SH** – It makes so much sense and I have kept a copy for my GFs who are going through the waiting period!

Post # 33
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Wonderful advice, mrbee.

Post # 34
Member
8943 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

So true Mr. Bee!  Every person that comes on here that is waiting, I tell them to not bring up engagement or marriage because it seriously worked for me!

Post # 35
Member
2181 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

Mr. Bee, you’re awesome! That’s pretty much all I have to say on that. That’s some seriously good advice right there! πŸ™‚

Post # 36
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

Off topic:

“What would you do after a breakup?  You’d probably cut your hair, join the gym, start meeting up with girlfriends more.  

‘Do all of these things (except for cut your hair)…”

LMAO – that really made me laugh. What is it with guys and chicks cutting their hair?! Dudes I know act like it’s the kiss of death or something. LOL 

Post # 37
Member
486 posts
Helper bee

Mr.Bee – goodness gracious, sir, you’re good! I started realizing these things are what I must do not too long ago – I put the backup plan into effect about a month ago … started focusing on the things I wanted to do … started working out more regularly … I don’t even rush to get him up to him anymore! It’s tough, cause we’re long distance, so it means I really never see him but I know that even if an engagement doesn’t come of it I’ve become a better me through it.

This is great advice – and all true!

Post # 38
Member
3952 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow Mr. Bee.  That’s awesome.  I totally agree 100 percent on what you said.

Now about the saving part.  T was doing that for almost a year b/c when he went in to get the ring (last march) the jeweller talked him into the 3 stone ring, which was alot more.  It really added on time to the wait before the proposal, but I think what was comforting was knowing “where” we were going as a couple.  I didn’t have any worries that he wouldn’t marry me, i just wanted that day to come when he’d ask me!  Did I get impatient?  Hell yea.  Especially after the ill-fated, everything-go-wrong Jamaica trip last march where I wanted to cry on the flight home complete with the allergic reaction.  Little did I know!

I do think that the not knowing part is what could make a gal a bit more frustrated.  Knowing or not knowing what his exact intent is.

How do you advise our waiting buds on that?  I know I’m a fan of having a discussion or short talk to find out if indeed you’re on the same page in your relationship and then kinda dropping it.  T was the one who brought this up luckily when we decided to be mutually exclusive and so that was nipped in the bud.  But for those whose guys haven’t told relationship direction or feelings yet?  I wanna hear from the guru (you) on this one!  The man’s side is so important to hear. 

Btw, I also was secretly advising Pam too!  I love the office!  It’s our fave show!  And their marriage (second only to the two Santas/Jesus episode this year) my favorite.

Post # 39
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m impressed, I actually started doing some of these things on my own, not sure why, but it totally makes sense that it would work now that I read it out like this!  I’ve just never wanted to be one of “those girls” who forces their bf’s to marry them and nags about it, it always seems to turn the guy off!  And I have been doing more of my own things now, it really is great!!  I think it will totally work.

Post # 40
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Aww Mr. Bee its so sweet of you to write this! Its so nice you and Mrs. Bee care so much about your readers. Man I love Weddingbee!!

Post # 42
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

That is really great advice- I wish that I had it before, mostly the invest in yourself part, I tend to forget that often.  You should really make this a sticky post for a while…..

We dated for 6 years, and honestly I was pretty content the whole time, occasionally thought about weddings, but didn’t feel the need to make things move any faster.  Throughout our relationship I tried to get into a very difficult grad program and it just wasn’t working out well and was costing too much money, and I really just lost my passion for it along the way.  Immediately after I decided to look into other career paths, we started talking about starting a family and the steps leading up to that.  Less than 2 months later he was down on one knee proposing. 

I think that he did not feel secure enough to make the committment when there was the possbility of me packing up and leaving for school at any point.  He had followed me several times in moves that weren’t the best for his career.  No matter that I told him I would be with him regardless, I think it still worried him very much, and regardless I had his full support, just not a full commitment from him.  I was putting my career ahead of him and our potential family (I’m not saying that the being career driven is a bad thing, I just wish I had looked at my priorities sooner and focused a little more on us instead- but I had to find it on my own). 

I am thrilled with how things have turned out, and that re-focus was the best thing that happened to me.  I thought we were close before, now it is a thousand-fold better.  I’m still working on finding the right new career path, but I have much more freedom to explore new things now. 

Post # 43
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

Mr. Bee– That is awesome, awesome advice. πŸ™‚ Thanks for taking the time to write all of that. I know I’m already engaged, but it was fun to read anyway.

P.S. This should be posted on the main blog.

Post # 44
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - Battery Gardens

Mr. Bee, 

This is excellent! I totally agree that this should be on the main blog. It would be nice to get a male perspective on this (and other WB things too). Thank you. 

Post # 45
Member
3793 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Mr. Bee, I’ll go a step further and say that this should be developed into a book.  I’ll buy it for a number of my friends!

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